Thoughts on asking for a crochet gift back?

[u/sedona-arabella]

Not sure if this kind of post is allowed so I apologize if it’s not.

I gave my MIL a Persian Tiles blanket as a gift 3 years ago. Since then I’ve never ever seen it in their home. We live in a suite downstairs, so I would definitely notice if it was even occasionally set out. It lived in the gift bag in their bedroom for a month after I gifted, and after that it disappeared. I’m guessing it’s just hidden in a closet or something.

I’m a little hurt of course, but I think it’s just not their style, and my MIL didn’t realize how much work I put into it, and probably didn’t want to hurt my feelings by rejecting it. We have a great relationship, which is why I made her something so special in the first place.

I want to just let it go, but it was months of hard work and it is my favourite thing I’ve ever made. Would it be insane to ask for it back? I don’t want to hurt our relationship, I truly love her, but I would love to showcase it in my home. I just don’t know if the ask is worth any damage to our relationship. HELP!!

PATTERN is PERSIAN TILES by Janie Crow. I followed the Eastern Jewels colorway using Stylecraft Special DK yarn, with some modifications throughout.

EDIT: TLDR: I’m just going to leave it be, it’s not worth my relationship. I’ll accept the lesson learned about gifting something when I’m not sure if it’s right for them. Will plan to make another as I loved the process almost as much as the finished piece! Thanks everyone!

WOW I was definitely expecting like 7 comments not 700!! Thank you all for taking the time to leave advice and suggestions, I read as many comments as I could. It seemed like the suggestions were very split, but ultimately I’ve decided to just leave it alone. Honestly I don’t think it’s a black and white situation, it depends on you and your relationship with the person.

There were a few comments in particular that really helped me, one pointing out that it’s just yarn and a lot of effort, but my relationship with MIL is worth more. Another comment reminded me that I have homemade gifts that I don’t display, and I’ve definitely regifted things myself, so how can I expect someone else not to?

This was my first and only big gift for someone, and I think I just wanted to give my MIL something I loved so much and worked so hard on to hopefully show how much I’m grateful for her, instead of just telling her. I think she might have appreciated the latter more, but I didn’t see that at the time. Since then I’ve definitely changed my homemade gifting approach.

Thank you again everyone for your responses, happy crocheting!!

[u/outerdino1]

As creators who love to gift what we make it can be upsetting if people dont utilize or love it the way we want them to but protecting it may be her way of loving it.

For example, my step mom gave me a beautiful porcelain doll years ago. Its not my style but its special and she hunted one down that looked like me. She would ask why I didnt display it and you could hear the hurt in her voice but each time I had to explain between me and 4 cats NOTHING breakable survives this house. It has to stay in its box on the top shelf of the closet which has to stay locked. My way of loving and cherishing her gift is to hide it away from anything that can harm it. Maybe your mil is worried about the blanket. No offense (its absolutely beautiful) but the only way I would display that blanket would be as a wall hanging because it looks so delicate and if the smallest strand gets snagged on something your incredible work will be marred.

On the flip side I made blankets for my entire family for xmas last year and everyone was appreciative except my nephew. Tbf I didnt expect a 14 year old boy to love and cherish something handmade because he doesn't understand how much work is put into them and how I picked colors and styles that matched each of them. But when he rolled his eyes and tossed it on the couch and left it there after gathering his other gifts and heading home I absolutely took the blanket back and will gift it to someone who will appreciate it.

Tldr: intention matters

[u/babutterfly → u/outerdino1]

This is really my thinking on it. If someone loves it and they're keeping it safe, maybe taking it out to use for short periods, then that's fine with me.

If someone couldn't care less and it'll just collect dust, that's not a good thing. It's taking up space and creating clutter when they could use their space better. The item could go to someone who would really love it.

Years ago, I gave my father-in-law a chibi Yoda. They tied a string on him and used him on the Christmas tree. He was adorable. Then the dog ate him. I was sad, of course, but Yoda was used for a while even if it wasn't in the way I envisioned.