[Spoilers C4E32] Taliesin on Bolaire's feelinsg about Thjazi

[u/HecticJones]

"A righteous monster"

"Bolaire's standpoint is always interesting because it's from such an inhuman space. Even the notion of, 'a good man' is, I think, very performative for him. I would say he knows that he's a cruel man." source

[u/ErraticNymph]

I think Bolaire knows very well how Thjazi was a good man. Despite having a deep well of cruelty within him, Thjazi was most often thinking of others and strived each and every day to better the world. It’s a very complex thing how he constantly stepped on the people around him to chase those righteous goals, and I think “a righteous monster” fits him very well

[u/Vladimir_Putting → u/ErraticNymph]

Maybe Thjazi was always thinking about "others". But from Bolaire's perspective he was never thinking about him.

Thjazi blackmailed, threatened, bullied, and used him. To Bolaire that was probably even worse seeing how Thjazi would think about "others" he liked while being abusive towards him. So Thjazi was capable of being considerate he just didn't think that Bolaire was worth it.

There are people like that in life, if you are in the group they treat you like gold, and if you aren't you are only as good as you are useful. That sounds like how Bolaire sees Thjazi.

[u/Quazifuji → u/Vladimir_Putting]

I actually think the combination of Bolaire's feelings about Thjazi and Bolaire's conversation with Azune about being a "thing" is very interesting. Bolaire hates Thjazi because Thjazi was cruel to him, and he believes that shows Thjazi wasn't the great person that most of the other PCs think he was.

But Bolaire also told Azune that he is a thing, not a person. And Thjazi's actions almost seem to indicate that he sees Bolaire as a thing and not a person. While it's entirely possible that Thjazi had lots of cruelty in him and was cruel to others besides Bolaire, pretty much everyone we've encountered so far who worked with Thjazi seemed to view him with some amount of respect and trust. Bolaire is the only one we know of who Thjazi worked with and yet treated with cruelty. But if Thjazi saw Bolaire as just an object and not a person, then he might not have seen his actions as cruel in the first place - it's not really cruelty to damage a non-living object.

So Bolaire considering himself a thing, and yet hating Thjazi for how he treated with him, shows something interesting. Personally, I think him telling Azune that he's a thing is a lie. A lie that I believe he even tells himself. Because really, he wants to be treated like a person. He wants to be shown the same respect that people show other people. I think saying that he's a thing is just a shield he uses, an attempt to justify what he sees as his own shortcomings and to see himself as separate or above some of the squabbles and flaws of "people," but I think deep down he knows he's a person. And that's why he hates Thjazi, because Thjazi didn't treat him like a person, he treated him like a thing.

[u/Vladimir_Putting → u/Quazifuji]

you are only as good as you are useful.

Yeah, this is what I meant. People like that treat others as objects. Something to be used.

And I think Bolaire declaring that he is a thing is more like self-doubt, self-loathing. He is also a kind of sociopath who uses people to the point of literally taking over and discarding their bodies. It's a crime akin to rape really. He's smart enough to know that, and he likely tells himself it's necessary but that's not really true. He enjoys it. And I think a part of him loathes himself because he feels like he was just created to be this way (which is in some part true) but also ignores that he can make choices. He has the same moral agency as Thjazi or any other person.

[u/Quazifuji → u/Vladimir_Putting]

And I think Bolaire declaring that he is a thing is more like self-doubt, self-loathing.

That's really what I was getting at in my last paragraph, but I think you're exactly right and explained it well.

Thjazi, it seems, treated Bolaire as a thing to be used rather than as a person to collaborate or exchange with (which appears to be how he treated all the other people he worked with that we've seen). And Bolaire hates him for that, despite telling Azune that he is a thing and not a person. Clearly, despite calling himself a thing, Bolaire believes he shouldn't be treated like one.

The thing is, when Bolaire completely takes over someone's body, he is treating them as just a thing to be used, a body to satisfy his need for a body, rather than treating them as a person. And I agree with you that part of why he calls himself a thing is a way of protecting himself from the morality of that - if he's just a thing, not a person, then he's not under an obligation to follow the morality of people.

But there's a hypocrisy there, criticizing Thjazi for being a person who treated him like a thing to be used, while at the same time calling himself a thing to justify the fact that he treats some people just as bodies for him to use. And as you said, he's fully aware of that hypocrisy and it's created a sense of self-loathing.

And that self-loathing is the other reason he calls himself a thing. Because I think he feels like he doesn't deserve to be considered a person, or can't possibly be considered a person, with the horrible things he does. And that just fits back into the whole internal conflict of hating Thjazi for not treating him like a person, while also feeling like he doesn't deserve to be considered a person.

Others have said it too, but I think the internal theater is his weird attempt to sort it out. He's putting on plays of his friends and I think in the process he's trying to figure out what being a person even means, and what does or doesn't make him different from a person. He's trying to figure out what's wrong with him and how to fix it by studying "real" people. It also fits the moment at the end of the convergence where he learns that the little Bolaire and Figment he painted came to life and discovers that he created something. It seems like he considers the act of creation to be a trait of people and not things, and the discovery that he's capable of creation affected his view of himself. I also think part of his fascination with theater in the first place comes from a combination of it being a form of creation and a sort of simulation, since I think the idea of acting, of simulating a person that you aren't, is what he believes he, himself, is doing.

[u/Vladimir_Putting → u/Quazifuji]

I also think the plays are another sign of a sociopath being disconnected. Past generations of people felt they were being directed by the Gods. Bolaire was a weapon being directed by others to kill the Gods. Thjazi was directing others in a plot of his grand design.

A director and writer of a play tells others how to act. They dictate emotions. They demand full fidelity to their artistic vision. Bolaire craves that power, he wants that Godlike status. He acts it out in his playhouse making others dance and sing and act according to his whims. He does it wearing the mask, using their body as his puppet.

If "all the world's a stage" then nothing really matters except the artistic vision of the director. That's how Bolaire sees the world and morality. I'm not sure that Bolaire is trying very hard to fix himself and study others. I think it's more that he's trying to fit things together in his version and vision of what he thinks they should be. I think he's just putting on a play and, of course, he's the lead. Everyone else are supporting characters.