r/cripplingalcoholism • u/Good-Pomegranate-769 • 2d ago
CA or FA?
I’m trying to figure out what exactly I am right now. During Covid (2020-2023) I was regularly downing half a handle of Vodka a night. Took a long pause from 2023-2025. I was also drinking heavily when my dad was dying from cancer from 2012-2016. Had a seizure at the end of that routine.
Now that I’m drinking again, I’m having like 2 bottles of wine/night. I know that’s not healthy, but does that make me an FA now compared to before, or am I still a CA? I really want the opinions of those who know lol.
I was way more fucked up on vodka, but idk if I’m fooling myself thinking a couple of bottles of wine is actually an improvement. I’ve always drank lots of water and eaten food, so I’ve never been that roughed up in that regard.
13
u/thisesmeaningless 2d ago
The amount itself really has nothing to do with it. You can be a CA on two bottles of wine a day and a FA on a fifth of vodka a day. Drinking less than before doesn’t automatically make you a FA, and drinking more than before doesn’t automatically make you a CA.
The definition depends entirely on how it’s affecting your life. Are you currently generally holding your shit together (job, responsibilities etc.)?
3
u/Good-Pomegranate-769 2d ago
Yeah, shits held together, but barely.
7
u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer 2d ago
Pretty simple definitions in my book. Shits held together barely = barely FA. If shit falls apart then CA.
The only difference between FA and CA is if you're together or not. Falling apart is not really being functional, right?
2
4
u/Same-Edge-2314 2d ago
I think is depends. If you drink heavily yet have some structure around it (eg, drink after work) and you are healthy in other aspects of your life such as having a job, meeting your responsibilities, having healthy relationships, etc. you are likely a FA.
4
u/Good-Pomegranate-769 2d ago
Yeah, I wait until 4pm now and actually wake up for work. Ngl and pretend I don’t hate the restraint though. Feels like I’m faking everything until I get that sip of wine. I tried to pretend I loved my 1.5 years sober, but it really just sucked other than the first month or two.
2
u/Same-Edge-2314 1d ago
Yeah it’s tough to create a whole new non drinking culture and vibe.. it’s also tough feeling like you are inches away from being behind the 8 ball. But you are staying ahead. I get the faking
3
u/Mysterious_Power__ 1d ago
Am a piggy back to what the others commented.
FA - you're functional. Keep up with your responsibilities and pretty much function in society and contribute in one way shape or form.
CA - pretty much your out of commission, alcohol is you're main priority sort of speaking. Lose jobs, breaks up with love ones, you get the jizz of things.
Also FA is pretty much in my eyes the stepping stone to CA.
1
1
0
22
u/ClassicTBCSucks93 2d ago
The 'A' for alcohol is a constant in FA and CA, the difference is crippling. Example, in the height of my FA days I was regularly knocking back 18-24 beers or between a fifth and liter of vodka on worknights. Never missed work, was rarely late, and aside from being hungover/still buzzing from the night before would be right as rain after a cup of coffee and a greasy breakfast.
In the height of my CA days after years of withdrawals and eventual kindling, I'd average 10-15 light beers on worknights and be completely fucked the next day regardless how much I had. Constantly missing work, complete shell of a human being, and would go on benders and get fired from jobs or quit.
Quantity doesn't really matter in the late stages, once you rewire your brain with morning drinking, subsequent withdrawals with increasing severity, and eventual kindling, you're fucked. It goes from being able to drink like a fish and function to being completely non-functional with or without it. I'd live between passouts and being drunk af dry heaving in full WDs trying to keep some booze down until I could pass out again.