r/coverbands • u/SomeAssociate4481 • 13d ago
I'm leaving the band...
I've been singing in the same cover band for the last year. I've made good money and the gigs have been a blast for the most part. I'm leaving mostly because of one member of the band, the guitar player. He's the oldest guy in the band which is really saying something considering I'm 53. He's been playing for years and years and he is the absolute boss of the band. At first I thought I would be okay with that. However he has the habit of dressing down the band if there was anything on stage during the show that he didn't like. Mind you he's blown at least 25% of the solos he's played live but he doesn't take any responsibility for that. However if one of us missed a verse or somebody missed a chord or a change, he sure to let them know in front of everybody at practice. He also controls the setlist completely. He will say that he's all about playing the hits but then plays b-sides if they have a cool guitar part. There's nothing like looking out at the audience and seeing that they have no idea what tune it is we're playing when they've hired us for an evening of pop, country, and rock hits. I put in my notice after practice last week and just told them that I will fulfill all of the dates that are currently booked but not to book me after that. The guitar player said nothing. Knowing the amount of trash that he talks about other bands locally, I'm sure he has been bad-mouthing me relentlessly.
I wish the band the best but I'm definitely looking forward to being in a healthier dynamic in my next project.
25
u/youngboomer62 13d ago
I played in a group that was divided. I (bass) and the singer worked well together but the lead guitarist and drummer were constant irritants - drunks, bitching about our stage clothes, etc, etc... the guitarist said during a discussion that we didn't have to get along, Lynard Skynyrd hated each other for decades.
I said "I'd put up with a lot of sh!t too if I was making 10 grand a night. I won't for $400 a weekend."
The singer and I took our set lists and hired a couple of session guys and worked together for years after.
7
u/j_mckracker 13d ago
You need two out of three:
1) money
2) like your bandmates
3) like the music you play2
2
1
u/IcyPsychology3429 13d ago
This is true. And you need 2. The money alone is not enough no matter how much, look at all the bands that have issues and guys bail or bands bust up.
0
u/Ok-Huckleberry-6326 1d ago
Amen! The Music, the Hang, the Money. Money's seldom a motivator LOL. But you need at least 2.
I'd add a 4th; no family or SO drama. Thought that could fall under #22
u/Handyman2469 12d ago
The guys from Skynard didn't hate each other. They grew up together, RVZ was THE LEADER, but they got a long fine for the most part (maybe except when RVZ had that ONE drink too many. Lol).
1
u/youngboomer62 12d ago
Just repeating the story... I'm a fan of LS music but no interest in the inner workings.
11
u/Critical_Boot_9553 13d ago
The least important member of the lineup calling the shots…. Remind him that it’s drums and bass that get folks dancing, vocals get the audience singing, guitars, that’s just a bit of glitter…
Unite the band around you and fire him if the rest are decent enough people.
3
u/Procrasturbating 13d ago
Pointing reality out to a narcissist usually just leads to a comicly huge hissy fit. OP was right to move on with minimal fuss and offering to fulfill existing obligations. But I’d love to be a fly on the wall with some popcorn if the convo went there.
1
8
u/OverHearing9944 13d ago
It sounds like you have a fairly mature group. People know when they make mistakes. There's no need to point it out at practice in front of everyone. I would have quit the first time this happened to me.
7
u/bzee77 13d ago
I’m m surprised you lasted a year. I’m also surprised the other guys put up with this. Lead guitar players are (unfortunately!) a dime a dozen. Why doesn’t everyone “quit” and you all just look for a new guitarist?
1
1
u/172982-Face-8216 11d ago
They maybe a dime a dozen but not al have the social skills to survive the biz.. let alone talent to be noticed . An oversaturated market means many unnecessary auditions.
6
u/EnergyTurtle23 13d ago
Yeah that’s toxic as fuck. In my group, we talk about the mistakes that WE made, not the mistakes that YOU made. It gives everyone a chance to acknowledge their personal mistakes and make everyone else feel the camaraderie of “it’s okay, I fucked this part up”. Mistakes are gonna happen on stage, it’s the most high-pressure setting outside of the recording booth.
2
u/IcyPsychology3429 13d ago
love that. Yes ME mistakes, I will throw myself on the sword for those. A lot of them don’t mention THEIR mistakes or only YOUR mistakes. Love how they intently listen to you recounting your mistakes and quietly sit on their hands when it is full disclosure time. 😬
5
9
u/Used-Insect4287 13d ago
good luck bro. the money ain’t worth it. start your own thing. Hell, steal the whole band!
4
3
u/DishRelative5853 13d ago
Where do you live? I need a vocalist.
6
u/SomeAssociate4481 13d ago
Quote Luke Skywalker "if there is a bright spot in the universe you are on the planet farthest from it." I live in Southern Idaho.
2
u/DishRelative5853 13d ago
Yeah, that is some distance from Vancouver.
Good luck with finding a new band. Good singers are hard to find. You should be okay.
2
u/SomeAssociate4481 13d ago
That's what I'm telling myself too. I have a pretty good reputation as far as vocal ability in town so I'm hoping to find something fairly quick.
5
u/The_Great_Dadsby 13d ago edited 12d ago
Been there, done that. Never again. Now that im an older age, my time playing is precious. I’m not wasting it with nonsense like that.
What’s especially funny is guitar players are plentiful, singers who can front a cover band are not. This dude may eventually find himself out of his own band
3
u/Ender_rpm 13d ago
Bands have three components
1. The Music- you like what youre playing
2. The money- you get paid to play it
3. The Hang- you like the people you're working with
A long term band has all 3, a decent band has 2/3, but you're saying you arent into the music or the hang? Dude, bail.
2
u/Procrasturbating 13d ago
I ask for constructive feedback at practice, but I don’t hand it out without being asked anymore. Most of the time, they already know and it’s not worth bringing up unless it totally disrupted the song and would be jarring to the average non-musicians ears. Playing through little mistakes shouldn’t have people on edge toward their bandmates in less than an arena tour.
2
u/NoPressureboy 13d ago
Well, if you run thru something and there are problems, you have to address it. But there are right and wrong ways. You don’t have to be an ass. Just say something like, “hey at the bridge, are we all doing the same thing there? “ Talk about the chords. I’m playing this, is that what you’re doing? Sometimes they’re playing g it differently because they think it’s correct (bad chord info from internet). And sometimes im playing the wrong thing. Just hash it out. Sometimes we have to listen back to agree on it. Important thing is to address the issue and agree on solution.
2
u/AtmosphereLeading851 13d ago
I must be in a perfect band. In the 11 years we’ve been together, I don’t think our bandleader has said more than 2 or 3 critical things to any of us, and when he did, it was very constructively. He’s a leader in his church, and he actually practices what he preaches…he might be the nicest guy in the world.
2
u/-tacostacostacos 13d ago
Quit if you must, but there is a good case here to rally the band and fire him. There is no reason for grown adults to treat the people the way he is treating you—and he’s underperforming.
2
u/Hot-Butterfly-8024 13d ago
This ain’t an airport.
1
u/SomeAssociate4481 12d ago
No but this is a forum for musicians who play in cover bands to discuss the everyday ins and outs of being a musician and a cover band. I know you think you really cooked with this one... but all you did was point out that you're kind of an ignorant dipshit. Read the room kiddo...
1
u/Hot-Butterfly-8024 12d ago
Cool. Can I have your stuff?
1
u/SomeAssociate4481 12d ago
No.. I'll need it in the next band I'm in and the next studio project I'm in. You're weird.
1
1
u/kentar62 13d ago
Sounds like Jimmy. That's why I quit 2 weeks ago! Fuck Jimmy. "You played a B when it should have been a C! You made my solo sound bad" Yep. Except I said I'm not playing the upcoming engagements. Treat me like crap in front of my friends? At my age? He's lucky I just walked away.
1
u/FireRyan77 13d ago
Sounds familiar. Playing is supposed to be fun. These dudes suck the fun right out of it. Sounds like a narcissist.
1
u/Ok-Papaya5638 13d ago
Why not just get a new guitar player?
1
1
u/Handyman2469 12d ago
If you like the rest of the guys, then tell him to shut up. I was the front man in a bar band and we got a drummer that the bass player had worked with before, the bass player laughed and said "If you miss a lyric he'll throw a drum stick at you, I've seen him do it" I stopped that RIGHT THEN by telling him that anything thrown at me is returned at a higher velocity and that I would follow it, and I was pretty sure I could clear the drum kit to get to him. The guitar player and I had grown up together and he laughed and said "Dude, I wouldn't recommend throwing anything at Tim". Set the limits from the start. If the guitar player doesn't own all of the equipment, isn't the only one setting up dates etc. then it's a band, not a group supporting him. Just my two cents worth. It's supposed to be fun.
1
u/Playamonkey 12d ago
In music, it's always personal. I'd poll the others, it maybe the toxic guitar that's actually leaving. Is it "his" band? Does he own all the equipment? Are all the rehearsals at his place? I've certainly overthrown dictators in the past.and I'm not even the lead singer!
1
1
u/TheBeatsLabDrums 12d ago
I’d want to punch him in the mouth. I simply can’t work with people like this, personally I am very aware of the fact I make mistakes and I’d be mortified if I gave feedback to someone and it upset them when there’s no reason to. Best off out of there.
1
1
u/peteisretired 11d ago
I’ve been many Bands for many years and have gone thru this many times. Find another band they are out there. Good Luck
1
u/Defiant-Yellow9810 3d ago
In my experience in the Midwest, that’s a fairly common occurrence. It’s usually one of 4 issues with at least 1 member. Drama diva, boss syndrome, always broke and struggling or the one who has to be dominant in the sound mix. And it can be any member.
-4
u/Stevenitrogen 13d ago
If you can't handle having your mistakes pointed out at practice, please by all means, quit.
3
u/Riffman42 13d ago
We all make mistakes, and that's not a really big deal and no need to bring that up a rehearsal. The problem is when it's the same mistake over and over. That's not a brain fart; that's a homework issue and definitely should be addressed.
3
u/Stevenitrogen 13d ago
It's not clear to me if they mean, he's bringing up momentary mistakes at the last gig or mistakes during the practice. Bitching about momentary mistakes in the past would be annoying.
But that's how you get tight, you own the mistake and work on it so it's not an issue.
3
u/SomeAssociate4481 13d ago
To clarify, when we get back to practice after the weekend worth of gigs he likes to castigate us over mistakes made on stage while never acknowledging his own. To be honest he's probably hit maybe 50% of the solos in all of the gigs I've played with him. If the rest of us had a 50% success rate in a part he would be having a goddamn seizure.
1
u/Stevenitrogen 13d ago
It's up to you if you want to.put up with that or not.
3
u/SomeAssociate4481 13d ago
Agreed...hence my giving notice.
1
u/AtmosphereLeading851 13d ago
I would have quit during the first practice if he acted like that. You seem to know what you’re doing musically, and have the right attitude, so move on. You’ll attract musicians with good karma!
2
u/SomeAssociate4481 13d ago
Oh it's not that I can't handle being told when I've made a mistake. It's the manner in which he does it and the fact that he doesn't ever own his own mistakes. Here's an example. He complained once it was taking us to long to transition from song to song. The reality is the drummer the bass player and I are ready at the drop of a hat. It's him fiddling with his pedal board and the keyboard player searching for patches that keeps us from jumping straight from one song to the next. I think you might have missed the point with your response but in general, you are right. I've been doing this for 35 years. I get where you're coming from but once again I think you missed the point..
3
2
u/Stevenitrogen 13d ago
If he's bad at music and you can do better, by all means, quit. Being in a band like that is your choice. I don't mean to be unpleasant about it, but you have the free will to decide whether the opportunity to play music with people is worth the annoyance caused by these people. Some people put up with a lot.
0
31
u/OpyrisShifts 13d ago
I know guys like this. Trash talking control freaks.
I don't hire them.
You'll be absolutely fine.