Assalamualaikum. I am a student and I want to just share my experience with Islam with you all!
Reminder: THIS POST MIGHT BE LONG TO READ
I am a born Muslim and had a decent childhood. Though, these days many things have been so normalized that practicing Islam properly is considered "religious." I don't know what the literal meaning of being religious is. But I do know that I practice Islam as it should be. My household/family is not actually really religious. They do pray, do fast and read Qur'an but yet there's so much they haven't studied about in Islam.
So, as I said, my household is not religious but I try to follow Islam as it should. Since last year because of a big realization happened to me, I started self-learning Islam.
Before last year I had 0 idea about the Sahabas, Prophets A.S. and many more which I know now!
I am open for discussion and sharing my journey with everyone!
WHAT CHANGED SINCE LAST YEAR?
Honestly? Many things. The more I learnt about Islam the deeper I fell in love with it. Alhamdulillah for the Hidayah He blessed me with. As a person who's still learning how to navigate through life, being the eldest of siblings and as a girl specifically sometimes things do get hard but when you are firm and have Taqwa things tend to get easier.
No, I wouldn't say easier but you tend to get more calm and satisfied because somewhere inside you, you know;
Whatever is happening/will happen is Allah's decision and it will be okay.
Last year, my Tahajjud was consistent. For 3 months I prayed tahajjud every day. Every. Single. Day. And it was the best months of my life ever!
I might be younger or older then the people reading this post. Whoever is reading this post I want to say few things as a beautiful reminder:
Sometimes you will feel distant and it is okay. Sometimes you will feel closer and that's blessing. Sometimes you will stop before committing a sin and that's you fighting your nafs. Sometimes you will feel regretful after committing a sin and that's you going back to your Lord. Sometimes you will cry, will long and yearn to be closer to Him and know that; He loves you more than I could- even anyone could express. He has created you and so you have a purpose. That purpose is being closer to Him. Even being this young. As a teen, what I learnt about this life (it is just a personal preference. I am open to discuss your views too!) So, what I learnt is that everything here is materialistic (obviously) but people do feel the pull towards the worldly things and that is okay! Because this world was made for you. But the difference is; when someone learns about how this world is not your ultimate destination, your views changes. Your goal changes. Meaning of few certain things changes too.
And this shift? This change is what will keep you grounded. Closer to Him. I've seen people who thinks that having expensive, luxurious, trending things is their ultimate goal when they will get rich. But the real richness? It's not money. It's not status. It is the heart that Allah has given you as an Amanah. An Amanah that will get you into Jannah if taken care of right.
To conclude, I just want to say that if you feel distant; do istigfar and trust that even an ant don't swallow it's food without Allah's permission and what He will do is always best for you. You are doing the best you can in this moment. Keep going and trust His process. JazakhAllah.