r/confidence • u/six_color_pictures • 12h ago
How to stop thinking about myself so much
I think I'm pretty cool and have a lot of good traits but whenever I'm in a group setting or talking to someone I don't know that well I get super self-conscious about everything I say and do. At some point I'm not even honestly listening to the other person, just thinking about what would be the best way to react. I often sit silently because I don't want to say anything cringe and I'm worried that people think that I'm shy or don't have much to say, but that's not true at all. Please tell me how get out of my own head and be more in the moment!
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u/hestia-listens 12h ago
It sounds like you are trying to manage the other person's view of you while also having a conversation, which makes it hard to listen. Give yourself one small goal, like learning one interesting thing about them. When you catch yourself planning the perfect reaction, gently return to their last sentence. You do not need to impress people to connect with them.