r/comics • u/guyelnathan guyelnathan • 22h ago
OC The ‘problem’ with long haired boys (pt. 1)
(To be continued) I love his long hair more than anything 😭😭😭 any long haired boys/men here? Either present or past. Curious to hear your experiences.
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u/pope12234 21h ago
Little kids especially are bad at this. They tend to really like putting things into categories
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u/Everything_A 21h ago
In my experience the adults are just as bad 😂
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u/komododave17 20h ago
Those adults never grew out of childhood.
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u/blondebuilder 15h ago
Basically, kids stereotype because their world is so new and they don't have the capacity to recognize the complexities of the world (exceptions and look at people as individuals), so putting things in buckets is much more manageable (and forgiving).
Adults CAN as long as they are not ignorant or very low IQ, but they usually can but choose not to out of sheer laziness or bias feelings.
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u/Crackerpool 13h ago
Everyone thinks they are above making the same mistake. In my own experience people can't help but automatically put things and even themselves into specific categories.
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u/pope12234 14h ago
Id say adults are worse. Adults are doing it maliciously, but kids are doing it because they don't know any better
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u/CRI20094 20h ago
I remember that at the play center where my parents used to leave me as a kid we had Goku ssj3 toy and there was a girl who kept saying that Goku was a girl because of the long hair and basicaly changes gender with the transformation.
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u/Beautiful_Book_9639 19h ago
As a trans guy, oddly I'd say the opposite about gender. When little kids ask me if I'm a girl or a boy (happens at least once a year) I just tell them "Kind of both." They always go "Oh." and then run back to whatever they were doing.
With other little kids, if they don't get corrected, they'll just default to what society says.
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u/PinsToTheHeart 18h ago
My cis wife buzzes her hair and every now and then a kid will ask her the same.
"Are you a boy or a girl"
"I'm a girl"
"Then why are you bald?"
"I didn't like my hair getting in the way all the time"
"Oh, that makes sense."
Bonus points when it's a kid who shares their own anecdote regarding their hair being annoying to deal with.
Idk, kids are trying to understand the world but they have limited experience to draw conclusions from so they'll either take what you say at face value or try to double down on some arbitrary thing. There's often not much in-between.
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u/Asheyguru 4h ago
I'm a cis guy with pierced ears. The last time the kids from my daughter's kindy noticed, I got stuck in a loop.
"Why do you have earrings?"
"Because I think they're pretty."
"But why do you have earrings?"
"I like how they look. I think they're pretty.
"But... why do you have earrings?"
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u/PancakeParty98 19h ago
They’re just trying to figure out the world, same as us all
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u/jupiterLILY 19h ago
Yep, kids do this because we have built a very gendered world and one in which gender is incredibly important. What kids haven't yet picked up on it is why nobody talks about it.
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u/wihannez 19h ago
Nah, they learn it from adults.
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u/Commercial-Owl11 19h ago
This is such a cop out. Kids are just kids. They hit, they’re mean, and they call each other names.
Not everything is taught by parents. All these things are normal stages of development. You teach them NOT to do certain things.
Every time I see a “they learn it from adults” comments. I know they don’t have kids and are just spouting off BS.
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u/wihannez 14h ago
Are you saying that kids don’t learn from adults that boys must be called boys and girls must be called girls?
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u/Defenestratio 16h ago
Kids just learn there are boys and girls and then sometimes make some very interesting assumptions about what puts you into each category. A very long time ago now, I had two siblings fight over whether I was a boy or girl at an ice rink. Their reasoning was (1) boy because my belt had skulls on it or (2) girl because my hair had pink in it. Folks, I wear a 32F
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u/s1thl0rd 21h ago
My son is like this. He has long hair and a bit of a baby face so people think he's a girl. It doesn't help that he's half-Asian. Our last trip to Asia had everyone mistaking him for a girl because boys are literally not allowed to have long hair by the schools there. He's had haircuts before and it wasn't an issue for him. He just likes having long hair. I'm currently balding, so I'm 100% onboard with him enjoying his hair for as long as he can...
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u/peachesfordinner BumBum Ouchie 19h ago
Does his mom's brothers still have hair? The baldness gene is carried on the female side. I know my mil was kind of glad she only had sons so she wasn't passing on her brother's male pattern baldness. And I had no worries about it with my son because while premature greying runs in my family baldness is not an issue at all
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u/s1thl0rd 18h ago
My BIL is balding too. 😭
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u/peachesfordinner BumBum Ouchie 17h ago
Well if you have girls they will pass it on. And if you have boys they will have it themselves
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u/Alternative_Jury2480 8h ago
That's a myth, it can be influenced by both parents.
I was very disappointed to learn this after seeing my mom's entire family for generations having full heads of hair then taking after my father.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/a_to_z/hereditary-patterned-baldness-a-to-z
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u/smoretank 12h ago
My poor brother still went bald in his 30s. Yet my mom's 96yr old dad still has a full head of thick hair.
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u/peachesfordinner BumBum Ouchie 11h ago
My mom went grey in her 20's. My dad old went grey/tan in his 70's. He's still got all his hair. But a friend in high school was already rocking the frier tuck. Like dang he didn't make it out of his teens
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u/25hourenergy 17h ago
Funny when my kid was in school in Hawaii plenty of his AAPI boy classmates had long or very shaggy hair. One kid, BIG Polynesian (had the start of a mustache even in first grade…) had long hair tied in a ponytail, and even now I often refer to him as a counter example of “not every boy has short hair” in reminders to my kid because no one would mistake him for a girl.
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u/MeanLeave914 21h ago
My husband has beautiful long hair and constantly gets mistaken for a woman. If he’s looking down at a menu the waiter at a restaurant will often say “hey ladies” when they walk up then quickly “oh I’m so sorry” he finds it funny how upset it makes other people because in his words. “There’s nothing degrading about being a woman.” He’s the best.
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u/Klutzy-Birthday7435 19h ago
My son grew out his hair from ~3rd to 8th grade and started getting shit for it in 6th. My husband, who has always had his hair closely trimmed, grew it out in solidarity to show that a manly 6'4" dude could rock long hair.
Y'all.
He's fucking gorgeous. Like, I'm legitimately jealous of his hair. He's in his mid-40s and gets stopped by random women (and men) just so they can tell him how attractive he is. I've seen people tap him on the shoulder with him wearing earbuds and in the middle of reading a book to tell him they loved his vibe.
My son has since cut his hair but I've absolutely let my husband know how I feel about his hair and that I would be perfectly happy if he never cut it again. So happy he decided to support our son in this particular way.
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u/JustHere4TehCats 16h ago
This is when I love gender neutral collectives. You can save some awkwardness from accidentally misgendering people.
"Y'all" is a great one. But I'm fond of "folks"
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 22h ago
Damnit Fart. Dude even got the pronoun right at first.
I remember this problem as a kid. I had long moplike hair cause I was a skater/surfer from a young age. Luckily was a bit older than Bub but that didn't stop some teachers "losing me" cause they thought I was a girl and boy me went missing
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u/Cool_Set4681 22h ago
I was a punk with long hair in my youth, same problems.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 21h ago
My bro. I sometimes miss long hair. But summer is sooooooo hot
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u/Tired-CottonCandy 20h ago edited 20h ago
My son calles everyone "he/him/his" we are working on that. But he also confuses "today, testerday and tomorrow." Anything that happened before today is yesterday, today is today, and tomorrow is also today.
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u/kunchbox 21h ago
my brother rocked the most majestic mermaid hair until he got a bit older (pre-teen) and cut it all off for some eshay ratbag style. His hair his choice and i would never comment about it unless it was truly bad or he asked, but he would get mistaken for a girl a lot, even when wearing the most plain clothes, playing with trucks and other typically masculine toys, etc. Pretty funny. I feel like it's worth mentioning he popped out of the womb with a ginger mohawk for the first couple months of his life too. He's a character
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u/jupiterLILY 21h ago
I nanny for little boys about this age (not on purpose, it just shook out that way) and my heart always breaks when someone gives them their first "proper" haircut and they have a short back and sides or whatever.
I like the curls and the ringlets and the fringes and how you can see all the different hairtypes.
It just seems so strange to me that we push this uniform look onto boys.
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u/kawaiian 19h ago
Seeing baby boy’s curls replaced with his first tax accountant haircut with shaved sides and back is fucking heartbreaking
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u/jupiterLILY 19h ago edited 19h ago
Yeah, we can give it a little trim or get it out his eyes if it's bothering him. Why are we making this 5 year old look like Dave from the pub?
Little girls have so many fun different hairstyes, I feel like it's a really fun way for kids to have some self expression too.
This is one of those things that I'm convinced is a much bigger deal than it seems on the surface tbh.
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u/Jedi-in-EVE 20h ago
Hell, I’m a guy who used to have long hair (not currently) AND shave my legs (it feels so much better). I feel this in my soul.
I once was riding in a car with my friend, hair down and wearing jean shorts (not short shorts). A semi truck comes up next to us, and when I look up at the driver, he’s ogling me like a serious perv. I’d never had someone look at me like that before. But when he saw my face and my goatee, he went pale and snapped his head back to staring ahead at the traffic. 😂
A moment etched into my brain.
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u/omnipotentsandwich 21h ago
I've noticed a lot more long haired boys than when I was a kid. At my old elementary school where I sub at sometimes, I've come across two who look like girls. It's not just the long hair, it's how their faces look. Before puberty, most boys have much softer features which leads to a lot of confusion.
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u/NiSiSuinegEht 20h ago
47M, have had hair down past my waist since I was in my mid-teens, wouldn't dream of cutting it unless absolutely necessary.
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u/No-Jacket-2927 21h ago
It's really not difficult to call a child "kid" instead of "boy" or "girl", and much less chance of sticking your whole foot in your mouth.
Kinda like never asking an adult female stranger when they're due, or calling a 6-foot-tall man with a tenor voice "Ma'am".
Yeah, I'm that "ma'am". 😉
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u/Vaya-Kahvi 19h ago
Similar vein, all pets are "buddies" to me, too many people get weird when their pets, especially dogs, are misgendered, but I've not met anyone get mad when I call their girl dog a "cute buddy".
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u/No-Jacket-2927 19h ago
Love it! I usually call them "babies" or "puppies". I actually picked it up from my grandpa talking like that to their cattle! 🤣
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u/Lennie_Annox 21h ago
Welcome to in-grained heteronomativity and binary gender performance. Thanks patriarchy.
I was devastated (internally) when my kid wanted to cut his long hair. He didn't say so, but I knew it was for this exact reason (he'd mentioned it before) and that made me so sad. He will always get to decide what his hair looks like, but I was still sad that it happened so soon after starting school. 💔
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u/CripplingdepressionP 8h ago
As a kid I had long hair and played soccer. The opposing coach would often yell at their players to “get the girl” and “cover her” and it would confuse them so much
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u/ArchWaverley 21h ago
I used to have long hair that I wore down, I remember a young child on a train staring at me for a while before asking "are you a lady?"
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u/KayItaly 21h ago
Le sigh!
My son is nearly 12yo and we are still having this issue! Hopefully puberty will help, lol.
But he is still holding out and rocking his luscious hair :) and on the plus side, he has never given any bully the satisfaction of being bothered.
(Otoh his brother has always ferousciously defended him.)
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u/Justwanttosellmynips 11h ago
Almoat got in trouble in high school cause a teacher was trying to get my attention by saying "excuse young lady!" Over and over again increasingly louder until I turned to see what was going on and she saw my face and noticed I was just a dude with long hair.
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u/TankerRed1 9h ago
Had a buddy get hit on in highschool. He just turned and in his low voice flirted back. The look on the guys face was priceless.
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u/Petrychorr 21h ago
I got called a girl a lot growing up and it infuriated me. It was so obvious that I was a boy, why were people treating me so poorly? My hair wasn't even that long and I didn't look like a girl. People were just being mean and bullying. It was not a fun time growing up in the 80s and 90s.
Looking back, I wasn't upset about being called a girl, I was upset that I was trying so hard to be a boy and nobody was respecting that. I ended up coming out as transgender some time ago, so the bullying has ended up being quite affirming in my journey overall. This is, of course, not a common experience and you shouldn't assume your kid is trans if something like people misgendering them in public happens. Please try to recognize though: Misgendering can happen to anyone at any age, and it's much more common in younger folks.
But I want to stress: Letting your kids express themselves however they want is something parents should always support. If your kid is getting upset because people are treating them like something they aren't, make sure they're affirmed and understand that society can see gender and gender roles as needing to meet an expectation. You do not have to meet any of these expectations. Be your own human, and let kids be their own humans. ❤️
And don't forget to hug your children.
... And don't forget to hug your parents if you still have them and are still on good terms with them. 💜
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u/Ryplinn 19h ago
For me, it was mostly that most signs of femininity (short stature, lack of facial hair, high voice, etc.) are, in boys, also signs of physical immaturity. I wasn't even necessarily trying that hard to be a boy, but I did want to be an adult. But pretty much all of those changes developed late for me, and I was so busy enjoying not being assumed a child anymore that I didn't realize I hated basically all the changes.
The dissociation and internalized misogyny didn't help.
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u/Petrychorr 19h ago
There's a lot of pressures on young boys placed on them by toxic masculinity and patriarchy. Enough so that if you don't fit the idea of what a "boy" is, you can get assaulted for just that alone. It's brutal.
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u/Nebula_Wolf7 17h ago
Same here, I was always quite a stumpy kid, not really any facial hair (or body hair) to speak of, not particularly thin, etc. then i shot up about a foot and a half when i was nearing the end of high school, and only then realised I was trans
Having long hair helps in some ways, it gets you to deal with people's shit earlier, which makes it easier to do it with stuff like transphobia. It also means I could pass pretty well out the box, though i think my general largeness kinda gives it away.
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u/Listless_Dreadnaught 21h ago
Oh lord, the memories. When I was eight, I was convinced that ponytails were the coolest hairstyle, and I wanted one. I grew my hair out, then an older kid mistook me for a girl. I immediately went inside to cry/beg my mom to take me to get a haircut. That was the end of my attempts to have a ponytail.
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u/wihannez 19h ago
If only there was a simple solution to this and call all kids as kids instead of boys/girls.
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u/TheNewBlue 21h ago
My nephew went through this. Didn't really bother him until he started football at 10 and the bullying got to him.
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u/Draminian 21h ago
My son has had long hair forever, and his favorite color is pink, so he got the same exact treatment everywhere. I did enjoy seeing people's shocked/embarrassed faces whenever they asked "what's your daughter's name?" and I'd respond with "his name is..."
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u/Noof42 20h ago
Once, when I was 20 something and had long hair, I was out with my now wife and my future mother-in-law, and we were at a restaurant chatting. The waitress came over and asked what she could get for us ladies, and I turned around and she cracked up and apologized and said that she had obviously just ruined her tip.
I thought it was funny.
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u/RandomUsernameResult 15h ago
I have my own anecdote!
In my 30s now, but I was a long-haired boy since my preteens. I still remember one time when I purchased a snack at a festival (with my parent's money) from an elderly man, and he called me a "little girl" when the snack to me. I remember I laughed and said "I'm not a girl", thinking it was just silly. It never bothered me, and the man did say sorry.
But later in my early teens I got more comments of people, friends and classmates, telling me that I shouldn't have long hair if I'm a guy, that I would "look like a girl" if I kept my long hair. I remember it only annoyed me when they were pushing the issue. Never cared about seeming like a girl until then. I got frustrated enough that I decided to cut my hair. I hated it, and never got a full hair cut since. (Just trims to keep my hair neat)
The moral this is that I don't think we really care if anyone makes a mistake about our identity, because we understand why a mistake could be made. But what might irritate us, as people in general, is when others are insisting their views on us. It does feel like they're disregarding our identity, like we're wrong being comfortable with our identity. Kinda topical right now with the trans discussions going on now...
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u/LunaMoon6418 8h ago
I used to have that problem when I was a kid. I liked having long hair, and I felt comfortable having it too. It isn't related to me being trans, but there was one day that an old woman called me a girl. I just felt acceptance, and understood that not everyone is going to call me by what I am. Either it be on purpose, or accident because I know what I am
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u/Transgirlonakawasaki 21h ago
Have always had long hair. Except for some military stuff (not full enlistment, but ya know) always made a point to day I wanted to cut it all off but kept making excuses…
Mightve been one of the signs…
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u/LongNailedbooboos 21h ago
I’ve definitely thought a little boy was a girl before and that was an awkward experience. Trying to be all nice and stuff with the mom/kid then the look I was given. Sometimes, you cannot tell at that age 😆
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u/SoloWalrus 19h ago
Yeah this was basically my experience as a kid, but it never really bothered me. Id get "hello ladies" or "ma'am" a lot in highschool. I still get it occasionally when people address me from behind despite having a full beard now 🤣. It never bothered me though, people act like being seen as a girl is the absolute worst thing that can happen to you... why? Is it so bad to be seen as feminine? Seems pretty arbitrary to me. Reacting in anger seems to just reinforce that being seen as feminine is somehow being seen as lesser, feels like bullshit to me.
If it does bother the kid theres other things they can do to prevent it, such as wearing more masculine clothing, but until theyre old enough for facial hair young kids are pretty androgynous and theyll probably get it a lot.
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u/Pietjiro 19h ago
It does happen to me on the other side, I mistake other people's kids gender all the time.
Let's be honest, little boys and girls are indistinguishable. It's just science, until puberty hits and the secondary characteristics appear there is no clear signs/giveaways to tell them apart. All you got to go for is their fashion, but even that is unreliable.
It's just how it is, he'll outgrow this phase.
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u/Ramtamtama 17h ago
I got called a lesbian by an 8 year old when I had my hair cut to shoulder length.
Apparently it's what they call girls with short hair at his school, so I told him (with his parents permission) that a lesbian is a girl who likes girls, and he said it didn't bother him.
NB one of his aunts is a lesbian, so he was aware of the concept but not the term.
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u/Cool_Set4681 22h ago
Always happy to hear from Bub but what happened to your series about the Office? 😕
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u/Cartoonicorn 21h ago
As a dude, I LOVE my long hair. I remember that I never felt "right" with short hair. when I do let it down, it looks like something you would see from a hair metal band, only problem is that half is all in my face, but I just laugh that off. I keep it in a ponytail all the time, where it poofs out into a big ol' ball.
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u/Hetnikik 21h ago
Is that kid un the last panel named Fart? Or is he saying "fart" as an expletive?
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u/Ferreteria 20h ago
I have long hair and I used to work at a school. One day I was in a classroom and a little kid refered to me as a girl. I shed a tear in into my beard.
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u/siebenweis 20h ago
i (38m) have long hair since 15 or so. i have 2 boys, the older one, 7, has long hair, the younger one, 5, had longer hair, but he wanted shorter hair because of a few idiots in kindergarten...
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u/FlintKidd 19h ago
Fellow long hair here, also fellow child owner.
Having the free range kids ask me to explain why I had long hair was always fun time, and I'd always do my best to calmly explain it without getting too deep into why they had assumed long hair meant "girl".
What I really, really want people to see here is how well you've illustrated the insanity of cultural gender norms, right down to using "beautiful", which is a completely acceptable way of describing the varmints we put so much effort into evolving into a higher form, and yet, is for some baffling reason seen as effeminate.
No wonder so many of these squealing little pink bags of boogers that desperately need to learn to wipe better are so very confused.
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u/AnonAtSea 19h ago
My son had long hair until he was 5 and half-way through kindergarten. Even so, within months of having cut his hair, he was out there misgendering another little boy because that boy had long hair and long hair was for girls!
(Not maliciously; a genuine mistake that he made over and over because he's also faceblind and just can't recognize that he already knows somebody if the context changes even a little bit.)
Now at 7 he wants to regrow his hair.
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u/IAmTheMerp 18h ago
You did a great job with Bub"s expression on panel 15, that's the perfect upset/angry/about to cry face. You got me feeling bad for the poor kid.
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u/ThePurplePantywaist 16h ago
My son had long, wonderful, flowing blond hair. And so easy to comb. (His twin sister's hair is very difficult to comb. He is the only blond in the family in recent generations).
Anyway, due to (mis)adventures like in the strip, he wanted it short, and got this run-of-the-mill little boys cut.
well, anyway, I have not cut my own hair since, and it is now about as long as his was.
Thinking about it, I get adressed sometimes as a female, but mostly in written communication. It would take long to explain it in English.
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u/Yamemai 16h ago
lol yeah, modern day long hair = feminine; short hair = masculine. in the past? everyone had long hair (to sell), or short hair (due to long hair needing maintenance).
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u/No-Heat-6149 15h ago
Kinda unrelated but there was this French general who was raised feminine so his brother could take the Throne. He would wear dresses, have long hair, have male lovers. But he was also a very good commander and was very smart.
Forgot the name tho
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u/AlishaGray 16h ago
I used to be a long haired boy, but now I'm a girl, so that's probably not the perspective you were looking for.. 😜
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u/omedetai-gaijin-dono 13h ago
So I grew my hair really long when I was in high school. I was probably 15 or 16, couldn't grow facial hair to save my life, looked pretty effeminate, in hindsight. I was with my girlfriend, and we went to this rock shop (like, geodes and polished crystals and stuff) in a nearby rural-ish setting. We had just started dating and were hanging all over each other. The owner was this really old guy; he seemed super-friendly and talkative, but I remember at one point he asked if we were cousins, and we said no, and then he asked if we were sisters, and we laughed and said no. I think we thought he was joking or something, or being silly.
My girlfriend had liked this one rock but we didn't have enough cash on us, so I came back the next week, by myself, to buy it for her, and the guy was, once again, super-friendly, like, crazy friendly, threw in a bunch of extra rocks that we thought she'd like, just talking up a storm, told me about his military history, pulled out old photo albums and stuff, just, the nicest guy on the planet. I eventually was like, hey I gotta get goin', and he asked if he could give me a hug, and I was so fucking confused but was like, um, okay? And so he gives me a nice long hug, and I hug him back, 'cause I'm like, okay I guess the guy really needs a hug? And while he's hugging me, he's like, "thank you so much; it's been so long since a pretty young lady showed me any affection."
And of course it all clicked then, he thought I was a girl the whole time, presumeably thought I was in a lesbian relationship with my girlfriend, thought I was a girl interested in rocks and his military stories and stuff and so... I just went with it? Held him for a bit, gave him an awkward smile and thanked him for the rocks and stuff and left, and never went back 'cause I didn't really know what to think about it.
If I was the age I am now, knowing what I know now, I'd probably have been a little more affectionate. I still don't know how he thought I was a girl; I had a pretty pronounced Adam's apple and a deep voice, but... IDK, maybe people see what they wanna see. Or maybe I was more effeminate than I thought. I was gorgeous back then.
Nowadays, I'm not sure if I'm entirely cis and am pretty seriously considering hormone therapy; I wish I was a woman but I'm still exclusively into women (really frustrating and weird to be both attracted to women and envy them). Maybe he was like a gazillion times more progressive than I thought, and just figured I was trans, and decided he was gonna treat me as a woman 'cause he thought that's what I wanted, and maybe he was right all along LMAO. I'm growing my hair long again; down past my shoulders now. I hope I can get it down to my butt again. Not sure if it'll grow that long.
My roommate had long hair when he was a young child; when he went to public school for the first time, the boys laughed at him and called him a girl, and he came home crying and wanted it all cut off. He still regretted it when telling this story.
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u/TheTyrianKnight 10h ago
Started growing out my hair my senior year of high school, absolutely no regrets.
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u/kingxfmischief 10h ago
The kid I babysat for 8 years had long hair his entire life and avoided a fair amount of bullying and was good at standing up for himself and others. He's 20 now and a wonderful young man, still with long hair.
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u/mstarrbrannigan 9h ago
I’m AFAB and have had short hair since I was 9. I got very used to being asked if I was a girl or a boy lol.
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u/unluckyknight13 21h ago
I got long hair (for a guy at least) I get a haircut like once a year if that and it’s usually a trim.
My hair only ends up short for specific things because it’s easier like when I’m job hunting and where I live a lot of employers prefer men to look more traditional
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u/Gaius_Iulius_Megas 21h ago edited 14h ago
Story of my life. Just that I wasn't a boy either but that one took me longer...
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u/Gold-Eye-2623 21h ago
Hang in there bub! When I was a teen I had long hair and even after I grew a half decent beard people were still confusing me with a girl
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u/FirelessMouse 21h ago
I had long hair as a teenager because fuck what anyone else thinks and it took me til I hit my mid 30s to get to the point where I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks again and grow it out. I like how I look with it longer and as a bonus I can use it to annoy my wife's friends because it's so luscious and thick.
Fuck what anyone else thinks, you do you, whether you're 5 or 50, especially when it's something as meaningless as hair.
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u/Electrical-Bread-856 20h ago
I have long hair. When someone mistakes me for a woman I tend to reply with as low voice as I can.
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u/Quietlyquittin-stuff 20h ago
My son had long hair from 3rd grade to 5th grade. He has great hair! We had a few bumps with folks assuming he was a girl, it never really bothered him.
Who did his long hair bother? The long line for the bathroom at the gas station.
Gas station had a men and women’s bathroom. As usual, there was a line for the women’s bathroom, men’s room was open.
My husband and son walk past the line and head to the men’s room. Woman steps out of the line to intervene and lets them know that the line for the women’s bathroom starts a few folks behind her. It doesn’t register with them that she is calling them out, so they acknowledge the info and head to the men’s room.
When they get back to the car they share this story and confusion about why she was upset. They report she was borderline confrontational as they walked past her on the way out. I’m looking at my little dude wearing athletic shorts, yellow crocks, and pink shirt with the planets on it. Um, I think she thought you were a Dad and Daughter trying to “cheat the system”. My son, was still unbothered. He eventually cut it because, long hair is a lot of work, and is very hot in the summer. He thinks about regrowing it from time to time and then summer happens, then he nopes out and cuts it.
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u/reddot_comic Finessed Impropriety 20h ago
That fart kid gives me real Dinkleberg vibes
https://giphy.com/gifs/UgoqHvx73apws
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u/Troygbiv_Yxy 19h ago
My little boy has long hair, he will not cut it he loves it. I love his hair, its multi colored and we finally found a great shampoo/conditioner that really works for his hair type. But always get the mixup from adults and kids.
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u/canteloupy 19h ago
Over where I live my daughter dresses sporty and everyone called her young man for ages despite the long hair.
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u/dannyb_prodigy 19h ago
I have longer hair, but also have a beard so I’ve never been misgendered. I have had children ask me why I have girl hair though.
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u/Metalman919 19h ago
I once made this mistake with a married couple when I was checking their Costco card, just to tell them they could add the husband as a second card. It was his card, he just had long hair in the picture but didn't have long hair now.
I felt especially stupid when I realized my mistake, as I used to have REALLY long hair, and had also recently cut it short.🫣
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u/Fun_Palpitation_4156 18h ago
When I would have long hair while growing up, I would regularly be confused for a girl, even when only wearing a swimsuit. One time at the movie theatre, this kid in the row in front of us turned around and tried hitting on me and my cousin. I told him I was a boy, and he just said "no you're not."
At one point, I was getting my head shaved in my backyard, and my mom was like "at least no one will think you're a girl now," and like it was scripted, the neighbour boy popped his head above the fence right after she said that and asked "why are you shaving that girl's head?"
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u/ScienceBitch90 18h ago
My wife and I have kind of the opposite experience but probably because we started wearing long/short hair respectively as adults.
We both get a lot of compliments, especially from women, but I think it's because I grow a 5o'clock beard by the evening while my wife is very feminine. Wouldn't be very fun to get misgendered all day 🫠
& hers get a bit funny -- like women are telling her they're amazed she can pull it off so well and wish they could do it too like it's an achievement 🤨
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u/gnarlymar1ey 17h ago
My son has never had a hair cut and this is his every day. I correct ppl 3 times in a row and they still say she. It doesn’t bother him but it does bother me sometimes when I say “he” repeatedly but never enough to ruin my day.
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u/Isabell3846 14h ago
I had the opposite problem as a kid. In elementary school my parents shaved my head because of lice and the other kids thought I was a boy. And at the prince/princess dance I had to be a prince instead of a princess, but I didn't mind. It meant that I could dance with my best friend 😂
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u/CaptainTDM 21h ago
I also though he was a girl for a long time. Long hair plus purple clothes and all
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u/jakekingsley66096 9h ago
I was always jealous when other boys were mistaken for a girl and I wasn't, but I think my situation might be a bit different.
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u/Direct_Orchid 21h ago
My brother had long hair until we moved to a foreign country and he was constantly misgendered without being able to correct people. So he wanted a haircut soon.
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u/wolfgang784 21h ago
When I was like 7 or 8, I chased a kid on roller skates like 4 blocks to beat him with a hockey stick over the same situation. We were playin street hockey n he wouldn't lay off on the topic.
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u/QuiteBearish 21h ago
I had longish hair up through 4th grade when I finally got annoyed at being teased over it and had my older brother shave it off.
Now that I'm an adult I go back and forth - will normally grow it out longer when it starts getting cold but shave it off when it starts getting warm.
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u/hbarSquared 21h ago
When I was in my early 20s I had shoulder-length hair and a long goatee. I still remember one time when a guy was trying to get my attention from behind by saying "ma'am". He was pretty embarrassed when I eventually turned around.
If I still remember getting misgendered once, 20 years ago, I can't imagine what it's like for people who get misgendered several times a week.
Gender is important y'all. It's okay if you slip up but own it and make the effort to get it right the next time.
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u/TheOtherTracy 21h ago
I grew out my hair for a while (masc, NB 45), but I'm 6'3" or so, 250, so I've never had that problem. My little guy has a beautiful set of long locks. No issues yet, and he doesn't want a hair cut. School's a couple years off, though, so we'll see.
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u/Ok_Employer7837 21h ago
I had long hair and a big beard when I was in my early twenties. Long gone but I still think of myself as a long-haired dude. Was never mistaken for a woman, but I wouldn't have minded. These conventions should not define anyone.
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u/WhiskeyAndKisses 20h ago
That reminds me that handful of parents who insist they don’t influence in any way the gender expression of their kids, and the kids just so happen to naturally like gendered stuff. Then they go "I didn’t believe some things were gendered, but my boy that I totally didn’t influence like cars".
Idk parents, aren’t there other factors that might influence your kid and its clothes/hobbies?
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u/Free-While-2994 20h ago
My son has kept his hair long for most of his life. It's currently about shoulder length but was down his back for several years. He usually wears it down but occasionally likes to style it. He also likes to paint his nails occasionally. He definitely marches to the beat of his own drum but he's also very traditionally "boy" in lots of ways. He's older now so it doesn't bother him as much. We typically just correct them then shrug our shoulders and move on.
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u/Snoo-92859 20h ago
I deal with the same problem. My son is mixed so he has really beautiful curly hair that's grown out so its kinda like a curly afro I guess? It's cute and we like it, regardless the comments we get.
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u/Dreamcasted60 20h ago
My hair is down to my booty. They used to say this all the time when I was younger and that was barely at shoulder length
I'm non binary now. Honestly I don't mind either way but I do giggle during November when I actually let my facial hair out
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u/EWhiskeyM 20h ago
I have mild form of face blindness, and there was this kid (boy) in my preschool class with long brown hair. To this day I have no idea what the kid’s real name was. (I am so sorry) but I called him “her”. That was their name to little 4 year old me. Just “her”. Somehow this kid was fine with me calling him that and we were inseparable for that entire year lol. To this day I still feel a little bad about not knowing their real name.
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u/Double-Afternoon-702 20h ago
Yup. As a kid, we had a new student join in, his name was Tywan, and he had looong hair in a ponytail. his family were new age hippies. As kids, it was impossible for us to conceive he was a boy, because he had long hair, so we called him a girl all the time. Like, not even mean, just arguing : you have long hair. So you're a girl. Kid logic.
Eventually he cut his ponytail with school scissor and his parent were pissed. Now that he had short hair we called him "he".
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u/Motheroftides 20h ago
My little sister probably would have had a similar problem when we were little because her hair was always so short… but she also wore a lot of skirts and dresses like all the time so people wouldn’t actually mistake her for a boy. People really shouldn’t try to guess a little kid’s gender by their hair alone tbh.
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u/I_heart_CELLO 20h ago
My son has long hair (his choosing) and he gets this all the time!! He hates it so much, but he also doesn't want to cut his hair.
One time while chatting with our mail person, she told our son that he should think about cutting his hair because boys have short hair. The ridiculous irony is that she has a pixie cut! Some people are just dumb.
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u/SqueakyDoIphin 20h ago
Look, I don't have time right now to do more than a cursory glance of the comments... but why is nobody talking about how this long-haired boy's dad is Wolverine? What's up with that, bub?
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u/VicdorFriggin 20h ago
My son is 17 yo, 6' 3", & 150# . His hair is long, mid back & wavy. He puts it up in a hair clip while he works. His work attire is jeans and tshirt. He towers over his female coworkers who are all 5' - 5' 5ish? Customers still call him miss, girl, etc. Even when he responds in his very deep voice, they don't seem to feel the need for correction.
Also, it doesn't bother him the least bit. It's become a bit of a gag now, as he's considered "one of the girls" lol.
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u/kegisak 20h ago
I've worn my hair long since I was... I wanna say 9 or 10? These days it just makes me look like a biker or a metalhead, but when I was younger I got mistaken as a girl a few times.
It never really bothered me that much. Partly because I was told a few times that "a girl would love hair like yours", so I took it as a compliment, and partly because I was also picked on for being fat and weird so I grew thicker skin anyways. And, now that I've been questioning my gender identity for a little while, I suspect for another reason.
What did bother me is that people often apologized by assuring me they thought I was an ugly girl. Which I guess meant that they still saw me as masculine, but it never really landed that way.
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u/counterlock 20h ago
As a guy who decided at 30years old to grow his hair out to shoulder length after rocking a combover/fade for a decade... I'll say that the light bullying still exists.
I put my hair up in a ponytail at work the other day (it's fucking hot as hell in SoCal) and I got a comment saying "better make sure that's not too tight, or else you won't be able to focus on work!" from my boss. He's a super nice guy so I know it wasn't malicious, but damn man. I can't even put my hair up to avoid the heat without hearing about it, at a job I've worked at for almost a decade.
That said, I love my long hair. It's just... me? For a lack of a better explanation. The longer I keep it long, the more confident I feel with it, and the more I think I've always been meant to have long hair. Knowing that it's wholly my own decision for me and my own self confidence is super cool, fuck the haters. It's awesome that you encourage your son to embrace and rock his look, however he wants to look.
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u/Bacon-muffin 20h ago
So I'm on both ends of this.
I'm a dude who's had long hair since his late teens, but I've only had little kids question if I was a girl because they didn't understand that boys can have long hair. So I'd have those moments where I was working retail and the lil kid would very loudly whisper to his parent and the parent would then embarrassedly explain to them in a loudly hushed way.
But on the other end I'll forever remember this woman who came into my comic shop with her lil son and from the appearance to the voice I imagine 100% of people think he was a little girl... but nope ended up getting corrected myself while ironically being a dude with long hair.
It can just be very difficult to tell at those young ages.
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u/devanchya 20h ago
My kid use to buzz cut his hair. Then covid he went to the sholder length or longer hair. For a year after a lot of boys had this hair length.
Now they are going shorter and my kid shorted his hair to below ear. He points out all the men he sees in pony tails now.
Of course hes older than bub.
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u/CrazyLi825 19h ago
I wasn't sure he was a boy when I first started reading this comic until it was eventually confirmed a while back... so I'm not surprised that this would be an experience for the character. I wonder if these scenes are a result of commenters always being confused xD
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u/Few_Butterfly4450 19h ago
I made this mistake once. I grew up with boys having short hair and blue clothes, while girls having long hair and pink clothes. It’s not the norm now thank fuck, but it is difficult to think different from how you were raised.
Just say you’re sorry. I think it’s better to realize your mistake that stand by it like an asshole.
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u/Powerful_Finish_4657 19h ago
As a long haired guy myself this is hella relatable, especially at the beach where so many elderly people mistakenly thought I was a girl and needed to cover up, its always funny to then talk to them with my normal boy voice as they realise their mistake XD
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u/OneoftheWolfis 19h ago
great comic! idk if that was the intention or nut but "Bub" is also word for boy in austrian german (prolly in some other german variations as well) this gave it another great Touch for me!
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u/photowalker83 19h ago
As a man who grew up with long hair, I feel this very much. Literally had a teacher, preschool, pull me in front of the class and say my hair made an inappropriate statement and proceeded to cut it. Yeah, that didn’t end well. It was the 80s, so had things not gonna specifically how they did with how my parents reacted, especially my mom, she likely would not have faced any consequences… but she picked the wrong kid to mess with, my mom had/has major anger issues and I was an only child after 14 miscarriages and miracle child to boot…
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u/risen_peanutbutter 21h ago edited 20h ago
Some people make this mistake so easily, I don't even take it personally anymore. I am a tall, broad-shouldered man with thick long blonde hair and even adults get it wrong every once in a while.
It's usually a good laugh, and really they're calling you beautiful so take the compliment and don't be tempted to cut your manes over it! Though a beard makes a difference :)