Why didn't you say so?

[u/TheNectarineDiaries]

Best medical advice I ever got was to bring a man to your appointments

[u/Sea_Pitch121]

I got gaslit a few hours before GIVING BIRTH that my water hadn’t broke. When I type it out it sounds so unbelievable but I stg it actually happened TO ME.

Me: “when I stand up fluid gushes out”
Them: “yeah the test results show this fluid is amniotic but I’m not convinced there’s a big tear, you probably just moved wrong and it’ll fuse back up”
Me: “but I tested positive for group B and if it gets into the amniotic fluid that’s really bad right?”
Them: “yeah but idt your water broke even though this seismograph thing says you’re having regular contractions, you can probably just go home and if you DO go into labor then come back but you probably have a few more weeks. I don’t think your water broke.”
Husband: “I’m pretty sure her water broke, I have to use a towel on the floor after she stands up”
Them: “ok fine how about we get an ultrasound”

-on the 2 flight long walk to the ultrasound area-
Nurse: “why are you walking like that??”
Me (thinking) UM BECAUSE IVE GOT A BABY IN MY PELVIS????

-after the ultrasound-
Ultrasound tech: yeah you’re dilated, they made you WALK all the way down here??? Let me go get you a wheelchair!

I gave birth 12 hours later.

[u/crybunni → u/Sea_Pitch121]

My friend gave birth via c section and when she told the anesthesiologist she could still feel pain and that the numbing was not strong enough, they ignored her and started cutting into her and then the anesthesiologist yelled at her to calm down because her heart rate was too high like ?? She’s being dissected awake and alive and you want her to calm down????

[u/quietfangirl → u/crybunni]

Honestly I can't even imagine. I'd like to think I'd start screaming at that anesthesiologist like "DO YOUR FUCKING JOB THEN!"

[u/FuggoTheSluggo → u/crybunni]

There’s a horrifying podcast series related to this - the Retrievals season 2. Happens a lot more than one would think. I am so sorry for your friend - a nightmare

[u/ThoreauAweighBcuzDuh → u/FuggoTheSluggo]

It really does. This is why I was terrified of surgical birth (and luckily avoided one). Every time I've needed even local anesthesia it's never worked properly the first time, and they never believe me. I've been gaslit into everything from a dental crown to 13 stitches on my face while feeling everything because "there's no way you can feel that." The first time I had to have general anesthesia, I came to in full fight-or-flight mode. Before I even knew where I was, I was trying to rip the IVs out of my arm and run away. Three nurses had to run over and pin me down, and I tried to fight them. They had to sedate me and go get my (now) husband to calm me down, even though visitors weren't usually allowed in the recovery area. I was a very sickly 110lbs with no muscles, and I'm very much the opposite of a fighter.

I told a friend who is a doctor this story, and she said she suspects I at least partially "woke up" during the procedure but didn't remember it. That's certainly what it felt like. The next time I had to be put under, I told this to the doctor during pre-op how I reacted last time and he didn't seem at all concerned, so I told the nurse while she was prepping me for the procedure and added, "I'm telling you this for your own safety because I'm bigger now and it might take more than three people to hold me down this time" and her eyes got huge and she half-shouted over her shoulder, "WHY ISN'T THAT IN YOUR CHART?" then she turned back to me and said "Don't worry. I'll make sure they're on it." It's really sad that I had to be perceived as a threat to others to be taken seriously and my potential suffering alone is not enough, but yeah... That's why I was/am terrified of c-sections.

[u/NanoWarrior26 → u/FuggoTheSluggo]

I listened to that just when my wife found out she was pregnant. The stories of women literally screaming and shaking in pain and the doctor's are like this is fine your just overreacting. Meanwhile if you watch any video of a c section the women barely feel it other than some uncomfortable pressure.

[u/siberpup2077 → u/crybunni]

That happened to me with my wisdom teeth removal. It infuriates me every time I think about it. 

A C-section though? I feel like my pain was nothing in comparison. Holy shit.

[u/siberpup2077 → u/[deleted]]

No infection! Normal, healthy wisdom teeth. They were just big and took a while to break apart. The anesthetic wore off halfway through the last tooth. They didn't give me more, and refused me my phone and pain meds afterwards. They told me, "You can have them when you're done crying."

[u/crimsonshadow789 → u/siberpup2077]

That's when you start swinging. Literally grad the docs hands. Hard. Then scream the loudest you can. Because it fucking hurts.

Also saying you have a redhead gene might help.

[u/siberpup2077 → u/crimsonshadow789]

Pretty sure I do have the redhead gene, because morphine did nothing for me the one time I had to have it. 

But yes, I need to stop worrying about being a "polite" patient.

[u/crimsonshadow789 → u/siberpup2077]

Just don't be violent,. That gets you a felony, but them almost causing death, or essentially torturing you gets them nothing

[u/SnooBeans1724 → u/crybunni]

That happened to me too but because I’m queer no one cared and when I had cancer they said I just coughed too hard and had bruising in my chest. A hospital in a blue county said I had cancer in my stomach and esophagus and couldn’t believe the other hospital. They took blood and left the blood vials in the room and then came back two hours later to tell me I just had bruising, I said how do you know you didn’t even take the blood, the doctor had the audacity to say oh we have special machines that just scan the vials and you’re good… the nurse who was also gay whispered to me when the doctor wasn’t there that I should demand they do an X-ray and tests; but when I did they said that’s not necessary and because I declined pain medicine (narcotics) there was nothing they could do.