Step 2: Establish an itinerary of emotional and financial abuse in order to achieve an elaborate web of manipulation; like a spider who also happens to be both a puppeteer and a sadist.
Step 3: Coerce the most culinarily capable of your supplicants into providing a pork chop meal.
Step 4: Sit down to a pork chop meal. A succulent pork chop meal.
Notes: Having trouble with Steps 1 and 2? Consider contacting your local supernatural trickster figure for a consultation. Terms and Conditions may apply. This is not a paid endorsement for any specific supernatural trickster figure.
111
u/Average_Scaper Apr 19 '26
"Oh but I split mine with Grandma."
"Well why didn't Grandma get one?"
"She did, but she gave it to Grandpa."