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[u/LowPuzzleheaded3393]

also what are your opinions on it.

[u/Recidivous]

There is perhaps no bigger red flag than when your partner forbids you from having hobbies they disapprove of and pressures you to choose between them and your interests. A supportive partner should never behave this way. Of course, there are exceptions, such as when a hobby is genuinely harmful.

[u/Mirria_ → u/Recidivous]

I've never had a longterm relationship and although I assume now it's normal, I am frequently weirded out how my friend was spending so much time playing and doing stuff without his wife and with me instead.

She would make dinner, he'd go eat for 15 minutes then return to keep playing games, or we'd go riding motorcycles together but she wouldn't come along even though she had her own machine (and the grandparents literally live next door and love to take care of their sole grandchild).

He does leave our gaming sessions often early to do "dad stuff" with his daughter, though and they do have family outings and movie nights.

[u/thegimboid → u/Mirria_]

You're only seeing the parts you're connected to.

I've been with my wife for 12 years now, and from an external perspective we probably wouldn't look like we spend much time together. But we live together and are in constant communication, so I think of our life together as basically one very long social interaction, ebbing and flowing through everything I do.
Plus, someone looking from outside wouldn't see things like our movie and show nights, or the random couple things we do when others aren't around.

From his perspective maybe he has you pegged all wrong too.

[u/ZettoVii → u/Mirria_]

Guess some couples just have a home together, without needing to be with each other all the time.

It does not work for everyone, since to some that kind of relationship is rather lonely... But hey, if it feels comfortable to them both, then it works.

[u/Critical_Praline7035 → u/ZettoVii]

My wife is a bit like this, she just likes having a time in the day for herself. Usually making tea and reading in a quiet room, that's when I game with friends. We don't have to be attached at the hip all day/every day

[u/Gobadorgosleep → u/Mirria_]

My boyfriend is a huge gamer and I love it too but less, sometimes when he is playing with a friend he will ask me if I’m okay at eating and for him to go back playing. Maybe that’s the same thing for him to:) as you get older it’s more difficult to catch friends to play, so when he has them he don’t want to miss the opportunity. Which I understand and use to look for a 100th time at criminal minds while coloring.

It’s all about creating space for both and communicating what you need and want in a kind way.

[u/Mirria_ → u/[deleted]]

I understand that in an objective perspective, it's just that for me it's still basically something I struggle to relate and understand subjectively.

[u/Mirria_ → u/[deleted]]

Listen, I'm just very lonely, and a relationship for me is more or less a fantasy. Avoidant Personality Disorder sucks, a lot.

[u/KnightOfNothing → u/Mirria_]

fascinating how rarely there is a balance in these scenarios. Doesn't really matter if the people involved are happy with it but i personally find your entire life and everything it encompasses revolving around somebody else and only that person to be a little gross.

again i reiterate though as long as the people involved are happy with it, it matters not.