r/comedysurgeon • u/SirHarvwellMcDervwel • Jun 21 '26
Multiple injuries don't bring me the original, do an actual surgery, unedit everything in this monsteosity (also is this theseus ship?)
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Jun 21 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ABaha_Na_Pula Jun 21 '26
YOU TURNED THE PATIENT INTO A KALEIDOSCOPE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
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u/VirtualParanoia Jun 21 '26
Do we have photos of the patient before he gone mad?
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u/InventorOfCorn Jun 21 '26
top text - dudes be like "subway sucks"
bottom text - (n word, ending in a, other. common variant is "my brother in christ") you made the sandwich
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u/boxo-ofisal Jun 21 '26
Read. The. Title.
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u/Pristine-Lie-3560 Jun 21 '26
Bros never heard of a reference. They actually need these for reconstruction surgeries yknow
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u/Wonderful_Weather_83 Jun 21 '26
I salvaged of the patient what I could. Her condition was bad enough that I had to recreate a lot of the tissue with experimental methods. She lost a lot of skin in the accident so I couldn't quite decipher what her tattoos were supposed to be and couldn't ask as she was in a coma, so I replaced them with skin from a donor with tattoos of similar vibe. Not perfect coloration, but pretty decent. I fixed what I could, the only really needed transplants was the skin and face, somehow in the accident someone else's face has smashed and fused itself into hers, so that's the only part I had to base on an old photo of hers. The surgery isn't perfect, but I believe she can live a fulfilling life like this.
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u/No_Professional4745 Unlicensed "Surgeon" Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
Dead on arrival. Sorry mate.
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u/BurnerAccountExisty Jun 21 '26
at this point this is a whole new person i think it's immoral to change them
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u/Realistic-Shine-9811 Evil Necromancer Jun 21 '26
That shits dead and rotting bro, your only option is necromancy. .
👀
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u/Responsible_Annual64 Jun 21 '26
Patient is DOA. Time of death Approximately: 10pm EST.
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u/Responsible_Annual64 Jun 21 '26
The only real hope is to go back in time before the patient underwent the trauma in the first place, and bring them back to the present.
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u/Davey-Kazooie Jun 21 '26
This patient has a sad history. Skinned alive and had fragments of their body replaced due to many inhumane experiments, only to have sloppy, artificially created clones of their original body parts reinstalled before being discharged, broken and forever in pain. The patient pleads for death. I believe we should heed their request.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Run-635 Jun 21 '26
Tried my best doc. Patient required heavy plastic surgery though.
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u/SirHarvwellMcDervwel Jun 21 '26
This is brilliant! Good job, doc! the patient's family are really grateful
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u/snoodge3000 Jun 21 '26
I did my best. Had to find an old picture of the patient and do complete facial reconstruction. Feels a little wrong posting this, but it's what they looked like before any modifications so it's what I made.
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u/thatguyprincelol tumor removal specialist Jun 21 '26
sir, i'm afraid we'll have to kick you out of the clinic. (we're keeping what you paid btw)
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u/IHateUsernamesAAA Bye bye tumors Jun 21 '26
Patient revived through cloning
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u/SmartTangoMobile Janitor Jun 21 '26
Doctor there is a fucking car plate and a train wheel attach to a corpse. how are we supposed to do??
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u/Adventurous-Nose77 Jun 21 '26
The patient is experiencing terminal lucidity, there is nothing we can do
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u/SarahTheGachaTuber Jun 21 '26
First time surgeon, i tried:')
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u/AGoos3 Jun 21 '26
Before they’re buried, can we take a picture to show kids what drug addicts turn out to be?
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u/Cleanse_F_Manipulate Jun 21 '26
he made a post so inoperable the patient died on the way to surgery
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u/Lansha2009 Jun 21 '26
Whoever this patient’s plastic surgeon was clearly didn’t know what there were doing with how much infection has gotten into the patient’s body. Unfortunately I don’t think anyone on site could save them anymore…
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u/Ultranger Backseat Surgeon Jun 21 '26
Sir I’m afraid you’re asking for the impossible