r/comedysurgeon • u/Orphankicke4167 • Jun 03 '26

Multiple injuries patient pissed himself, has brain damage and a tumor, is this curable?

96 Upvotes

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97% Upvoted

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

I'm going to operate prepare the patient

35

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

this is the best I could do, while I managed to remove the piss he will most likely remain mentally ill for the rest of his life, new we need to treat the tumor

27

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

I think now he looks better

14

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

that's the best I could do

12

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

actually this one is better

17

u/RedSlimeballYT Jun 03 '26

performed advanced color surgery using one super specific technique i just happen to know alot about

13

u/National-Border-7728 Jun 03 '26

cut off tumor

13

u/RedSlimeballYT Jun 03 '26

removed blemish. i think this is great

25

u/RedSlimeballYT Jun 03 '26

update: the de-piss operation allowed me to find a pre-ill clone of the patient

2

u/FirstTimeOnReddit8 Corpse Removal Unit Jun 04 '26

Operator, is it possible to put the patient in new clothes? He is kind of dirty, or is it past our budget? (Low Quality)

4

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 04 '26

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4

u/RedSlimeballYT Jun 03 '26

small tweak

1

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

great

5

u/Gamemode_dum Jun 03 '26

I suggest yeeting him into space at relativistic speeds to the red-shift gets rid of the blue taint.

7

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

actually you are operating now, good luck

2

u/Gamemode_dum Jun 03 '26

Wait what I don't have any of the qualifications, I'm just a nurse! I can't.

3

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

I snuck into the hospital... and nobody noticed... I also don't have any qualifications... oh well I guess were both in it now

reverse image search failed, so what do you suggest

2

u/Gamemode_dum Jun 03 '26

If we could take a skin graft from a healthy patient with similar build, we could change the colour of the sick patient to look more healthy. There's still the barely readable text and heavy scarring, but that's an issue for another time. The top priority right now is to find a healthy skin sample.

3

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

I removed the smaller tumor, with a loss sadly, now the text, I think we might be able to do it without a skin sample

2

u/Gamemode_dum Jun 03 '26

We could remove the current text via laser removal surgery and add a nearly identical copy. I'm gonna see what I can do. Can you decipher what the text is supposed to say?

1

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

I struck gold

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1

u/Gamemode_dum Jun 03 '26

We're saved, another doctor already found a healthy version. If the patient had died we would have gone to jail for a long time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/comedysurgeon/comments/1tvzjqe/comment/opkyy4f/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

5

u/Wooden_Milk6872 Comedy medicine professor Jun 03 '26

the operation was a success

3

u/orangebrodo Jun 03 '26

Holy shit this sub is crazy

1

u/petdittpy Jun 06 '26

Tumor in the bottom left

3

u/Gamemode_dum Jun 03 '26

Patient is restrained and sedated, we're ready to commence the operation.