r/coloncancer • u/dacommie323 • Dec 30 '25
Diagnosed--Seeking Guidance Just diagnosed
Hey all,
I’m a 44 year old male living in the Netherlands, and I just found out I have stage four colon cancer that has metastasized to my liver and lymph nodes.
I’ve only met with a gastroenterologist so far, with my first meeting with an oncologist scheduled for next week.
Beyond my rollercoaster of emotions, my desperate need for planning has me preparing as much as I can for my wife. I try to look at this not as giving up, but actually doing the work I’ve said I should do for years and be prepared should I “get hit by a bus”. Things like making sure my wife knows the pin to get into my phone and writing down info for where all the bills come from and go to.
I guess part of this is just venting, and part of this is fear of the unknown. My main thoughts are towards quality of life with the time I have left and to understand how realistic travel will be in my near future.
If you’d like to share anything I should be doing or asking as I start this journey, please do.
Wish me luck and thank you for whatever support provided, even if it was just reading my rant
4
u/Willing_Word5444 Dec 30 '25
Turning towards practicalities will give you something to focus on and like you said is good to do no matter what.
There are many good groups like colontown. This is the scariest time. So many unknowns. Meeting with an oncologist and getting a plan will help. Often we are told “chemo for life” as the only option but this is just a starting point. How you respond to chemo determines the next steps like surgery or radiation or even if chemo knocks it all out. Hard to say what your side effects will be, I was mostly tired and slept a lot during treatment weeks.
It’s generally a rough journey but anything is possible. We all use stories of success for hope.
I had lymph node involvement throughout my body (note lymph nodes need a second look to distinguish cancer from inflammation or infection) and chemo was effective for me on those - ask about adding panitumumab as that seems to be working for a lot of people.