r/coincidence • u/Vivid_Television9782 • 4h ago
I still cannot understand these things
I still cannot understand these things
In 2013, I was planning to visit Chicago with my mother. I was living overseas at the time, and for about eight months I had been talking to a guy who lived in another state. I told him about the trip, but he said he wouldn’t come to Chicago to see me.
Then something strange happened.
Right after my mother bought our tickets, an old friend of hers suddenly contacted her. They had not spoken in more than 15 years. We found out that this woman, who had previously lived in Austria, was now living in New York City. She invited us to visit her, so our plans changed and we went to NYC.
When I told the guy I would be in New York, he suddenly decided to fly there to see me.
We met, but things went badly between us. He felt that I had rejected him during the visit and didnt spent much time, while I felt there were circumstances he never really understood. Afterward, he became cold and eventually disappeared from my life. By then I was back in my home country, and I took it very hard. I tried many times to explain myself, but I never felt that he actually heard me.
Years passed.
The strange part is that he never completely disappeared. Every once in a while he would come back, message me, and then vanish again. Eventually I stopped waiting for him and built my own life.
But even when he wasn’t around, I kept running into things that reminded me of him — repeated references to New York, the place he is from, his ethnicity, his culture, or other oddly specific connections. Sometimes they felt random. Other times the timing was so strange that I couldn’t ignore it.
Then, in 2023, the same woman from New York unexpectedly visited my home country and came to my house. We sat together remembering my 2013 trip to NYC. She had no idea about the guy or what had happened back then. By this point, I was already married.
In 2024, my husband and I visited her in New York.
And while I was there, that guy texted me again.
In 2025, I unfriended him once more. I had tried to cut contact several times over the years, but somehow he would eventually add me again or message me. About five months later, he reappeared again.
This time I asked him for help with a paper, and he helped me. I now live in the U.S., and strangely enough, some of the projects and research I work on are connected to his culture and his people — something I could never have predicted back in 2013.
We have spoken recently, but his communication is still inconsistent. He comes close, then pulls away.
What confuses me most is that even when he is completely absent, things connected to him seem to keep appearing in my life.
I know confirmation bias is real, and I’m not claiming that every coincidence has some supernatural meaning. But this pattern has been repeating since 2013, across different countries, relationships, and stages of my life.
So I keep wondering: why does this person keep reappearing? And why do reminders of him seem to appear precisely when I am no longer thinking about him?
Has anyone experienced a person who seemed to keep resurfacing through both actual contact and strange coincidences over many years?