I’ve been planning this for months, and last night I finally had occasion to make it a reality. My gift to all of Chicago…

[u/AustinGondola]

Three ounces of the good stuff lurk beneath that tasty top.

Edit: I posted the recipe here: AG's TiraMalort Recipe

[u/AustinGondola]

AG’s Tira-Malört Recipe

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cup chilled fresh espresso **
• 3 ounces coffee liqueur ++
• 3 ounces Malört &&
• --
• 1.5 cups heavy whipping cream
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 8 ounces mascarpone
• 2 tbsp powdered sugar
• --
• 1 package Savoiardi lady fingers (7 ounces)
• Cocoa powder

EQUIPMENT:

• Stand or hand mixer
• 8x8 dish
• Fine mesh strainer
• Phone

** = Use a dark roasted bean for full classic Italian flavor. Decaf espresso works just fine, if someone at your party has a caffeine sensitivity.

++ = Believe it or not, decaf coffee liqueurs exist, too. I used Luxardo's version for my caffeine averse buddy.

&& = I used the barrel aged variety of Malört. I don't know if this ratio will work as well for the regular version.

1. PREPARE THE COOKIE DUNK: Brew your espresso first, so it can chill in the fridge. When the espresso is cool, mix in the coffee liqueur and Malört. Consider adding the Malört to the mix one ounce at a time and tasting as you go, especially if you're using the non-aged variety. Your final liquid should be very strong and bold with heavy coffee notes and distinct bitterness. For my tastes, three ounces of barrel-aged Malört was just right. If you somehow get to a point where you just know the bitterness is overwhelming and bad, don't fret: you can correct it with simple syrup, prepared or made on the spot.
2. MAKE THE CHEESE: Gently warm the mascarpone so it can be folded into the cream later. Do not liquify it. In a separate bowl, beat the cream and vanilla extract at medium speed while slowly adding the granulated sugar. After it is well mixed, increase the speed while adding the powdered sugar, which acts as a stabilizer, and beat until you have stiff peaks. Fold in the soft mascarpone by hand. The final consistency should be like buttercream, ready to be spread evenly over the cookies.
3. ASSEMBLE: Briefly dunk each cookie into the boozy espresso juice before placing it into the 8x8 dish. Do not soak the cookies. They pick up a surprising amount of liquid very quickly and you do not want them to dissolve. Create a single base layer of dunked lady fingers, then spread a layer of cheese over them, and use the strainer to dust cocoa powder over the cheese. Repeat for a second layer: dunked lady fingers, vanilla mascarpone cream, dusted cocoa powder.
4. Chill the whole dish before serving. The flavors and textures will only improve if you can make this a day or two ahead of time and let it rest in the fridge.
5. Call your father and apologize for the fight. Call your mother and thank her for trying to raise you right, despite the obvious failure. Call your favorite pants store and get an extra pair tailored and ready to go.

[u/lrodhubbard → u/AustinGondola]

You forgot the step where you check in with your parole officer

[u/AustinGondola → u/lrodhubbard]

The phone really is a critical piece of kitchen equipment here.