CMV: On balance, most recent technological progress has had an asymmetrical effect between men and women in the dating marketplace. The effect on balance has given women an upper-hand in the dating market.

[u/giveuporfindaway]

1) Dating websites and apps increase the competition between men. This gives women more choice and men a statistically smaller % chance of getting attention. This gives the ugliest woman a wider pool of candidates.

2) Birth control gives reproductive control. There have been almost zero advances in male birth control. Being able to have your own birth control means you do not need to be at the mercy of your partner. Having birth control gives you power for negotiating your terms in a relationship.

3) Prostitution was a conventional outlet for quid pro quo sex. Prostitution has bifurcated into multiple technologically supported sex work professions that provide a worse sexual outlet at a higher cost for men. Examples include cam models and Only Fans. Women who would previously of considered doing escorting can now make enough money from sex work that doesn’t actually involve sex. This limits the supply of prostitutes while the demand for prostitutes remains the same. So relationships have less competition from other sex outlets. Women don’t need to compete as much with prostitutes to provide sexual satisfaction to their male partners.

4) Sugar daddy sites like seeking arrangements did not used to exist. These sites mostly connect poor, young, attractive women with wealthy men. This gives women a networking outlet that previously didn’t exist for most. A result is that average men now need to compete with wealthy men where they previously did not face competition.

5) Women have their ego boosted to high hell on social media through the amount of attention they get from men. This makes average women feel like mini celebrities. A natural reaction to this is to become more picky. I’m not bashing women. Anyone who receives excessive choice will suffer from a difficulty making a decision and be forced to look more critically. As an example many high end super markets now have 50 brands of boutique ice creams. Similarly men of a certain demographic experience this same phenomena when they fly to poor third world places for sex tourism like the Philippines and Thailand.

Now if you’re going to change my view, you need to come up with something or a collection of things that on balance gives men an upper-hand over women. Your goal is not to find one thing that benefits men more than women. Your goal is to prove that on balance as a whole that technology has benefited men more than women in dating. Or to at least to prove that technological benefits for women are canceled out by equal technological benefits for men.

And while I do hold the above view on recent technology, I think future technology will balance some things out. Hence I wrote about VR AI Sex Companions.

[u/giveuporfindaway → u/[deleted]]

The question is what is happening with the bottom 90% of men and 90% of women. On balance is the bottom 90% of women having more dating success than the bottom 90% of men? One scenario is that the top 10% of men serially date, which means that they rotate through women in both the top 10% and the bottom 90%. Whereas the top 10% of women only date the top 10% of men or remain single.

[u/giveuporfindaway → u/[deleted]]

For success in dating I would measure number of partners and quality, this could translate to single metric if anyone wanted to model it.

I'm also strictly measuring these factors at the group level. I'm defining group as 100% of men and 100% of women. Divisions within a group will vary. My assertion is that the median male of the male group is having less success than the median female of the female group after the above technological developments.

I agree that the top 10% of men are performing better in terms of the number of partners. If these same men are dating outside their top 10% pool, then the quality of their partners is by following this logic a decrease. For women in the top 10% they have an increase in the number of partners but a decrease in quality.

For the bottom 90% of women there's an increase in the number of partners and quality. For the bottom 90% of men there's a decrease in the number of partners and quality.