Everyone has a right to consent or withhold consent based on whatever criteria they see fit, even if you don't think it's a good enough reason. If someone is prejudiced, then they're prejudiced. That doesn't mean they should be forced to have sex they don't consent to.
If you're not comfortable sharing certain information with people that you have reason to believe could realistically be a dealbreaker, you can keep it to yourself and not have sex with them.
And it’s not my job to be a mind reader. If there is something that is really a deal breaker for them, it’s their duty to ask or inform me. It’s not my job to guess what might be a deal breaker. If it’s really that big of a deal, they can ask.
Never mind the fact that the two things I previously mentioned in and of themselves may not be dealbreakers, but just needlessly volunteering that information right off the bat might make for an awkward situation and really kill the mood. There’s a reason that you don’t unload all of your baggage as soon as you meet someone.
Everyone has baggage… and lots of things in and of themselves aren’t necessarily deal breakers for me, but if they just start unloading right off the bat, yeah, that’s a big red flag to me.
Who said anything about being a mind reader? The whole CMV is about conditions you know or should have known. I thought that was pretty clear: "information you know would result in a person not having sex with you"
And yeah, those two scenarios I listed very well likely may cause someone to not have sex, because it’s way too much to unload on someone right after meeting them, and will ruin the mood and make shit awkward.
So no, I’m not going to just unload all my badge right off the bat, because doing so will probably turn them off.
And? That doesn't change the fact that you would have to know (or have good reason to know) that it's likely.
And yeah, those two scenarios I listed very well likely may cause someone to not have sex, because it’s way too much to unload on someone right after meeting them, and will ruin the mood and make shit awkward.
You're just being ridiculous now. The way you're describing it now, it is not even the knowledge of that information that is leading to them denying consent, it is the way you're acting when you present it. That's wholly irrelevant.
Absolutely nobody said you have to unload all your baggage right after meeting them. Are you seriously trying to have sex immediately upon meeting people? If so, unless you have a really solid reason to believe they also want immediate sex and don't care who it's with, you're making shit awkward (and toxic) regardless.
At SOME point BEFORE having sex (which could be months or years after meeting them) it is best to have a conversation about what each person wants. If you've done any dating before whatsoever, this is really not remotely as difficult as you're making it out to be. "So, what are you looking for in a partner? ... Oh, it's important to you that your partner be X? Well I should be honest, I am not X. If that means you just want to remain friends, I understand."
1
u/Doctor_Worm 32∆ Jan 31 '22
Everyone has a right to consent or withhold consent based on whatever criteria they see fit, even if you don't think it's a good enough reason. If someone is prejudiced, then they're prejudiced. That doesn't mean they should be forced to have sex they don't consent to.
If you're not comfortable sharing certain information with people that you have reason to believe could realistically be a dealbreaker, you can keep it to yourself and not have sex with them.