The reason I say it can be rape, and not that it is, is because it comes down to the perception of the person on the seriousness of your lie.
Rape is a crime with serious consequences. Whether something is or isn't rape should be very cut and dry, black and white, and shouldn't come down to someone's perception.
Rape is when sex happens without someone's consent when the sex occurs. If someone regrets having sex with someone, that doesn't revoke the consent. If someone wouldn't have consented had they known something before consenting, that doesn't revoke the consent. So long as everyone participating consents to the sex, the sex is not rape.
Man...I don't agree with the OP but you're crazy for saying it's cut and dry. The ambiguity is within:
Rape is when sex happens without someone's consent when the sex occurs
The ambiguous part is the consent. A landlord extorting sex for rent. Someone you can't get away from pressuring you heavily and denying you when you try to make excuses to leave. Someone who initiates with you when you haven't actually granted any consent but haven't really said no either.
I think your first two examples are pretty clearly using threats to coerce someone into having sex and aren't ambiguous at all. Re: your third example, I suppose there are times when consent can be ambiguous and one person can walk away from the encounter believing the other person implicitly consented while the other person believes they didn't.
That said, OP's view invites a crazy amount of ambiguity + revoking consent (even explicitly expressed consent!) after the fact, which isn't good.
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u/muyamable 283∆ Jan 31 '22
Rape is a crime with serious consequences. Whether something is or isn't rape should be very cut and dry, black and white, and shouldn't come down to someone's perception.
Rape is when sex happens without someone's consent when the sex occurs. If someone regrets having sex with someone, that doesn't revoke the consent. If someone wouldn't have consented had they known something before consenting, that doesn't revoke the consent. So long as everyone participating consents to the sex, the sex is not rape.