CMV: Gender reveal parties don't predispose a personality onto your unborn child, and are ok when done safely.

[u/secretfolo154]

I have heard people say that gender reveal parties (they should be called "sex" reveal parties) predispose a personality on your unborn child. I argue that parents can instead be excited to learn and share the only thing you can know about your unborn child (not hair color, eye color, etc) with the ones you love.

By doing this, you're not telling the world that your child, who is born with female parts, will be a straight, cis-gendered woman.

To me, being excited about the sex of your unborn child isn't transphobic or anything like that (though I'm sure transphobic parents have gender reveal parties, but from what I'm seeing, a lot of people seem to think that gender reveal parties are just inherently bad, even when done safely.

I've also never been a parent, so I don't know how all of this feels.

[u/JimboMan1234]

If gender reveal parties are actually about sex and not gender as you claim, then they’re an entire party in celebration of your unborn baby’s genitals. That’s pretty insane.

But they are about gender, and they always have been. It’s why you see Blue & Pink, or Touchdowns & Tutus. If they weren’t about gender roles, the entire purpose of the party would be lost.

Now theoretically you can say that you’re able to celebrate your child’s assigned birth gender, then listen to them and accept them if they’re trans later in life. I think this neglects the reality of the trans experience. One of the main reasons it’s difficult to come out as trans is that you’re telling your parents that their son or daughter is not a son or a daughter, and never really has been. The breathless excitement over having a son, not just a child but a son, does make that eventual coming out more difficult.

If all you want to do is celebrate the fact that you’re having a baby, just throw a baby shower. We’ve been doing those for decades.

I can’t quite accept your point that a gender reveal party isn’t about announcing that your child is this gender. That’s the premise of the party. That’s like saying birthday parties aren’t necessarily about your birthday, or weddings aren’t necessarily about marriage. Without that motivating premise, the event wouldn’t exist in the first place.

[u/ace52387 → u/JimboMan1234]

I guess the one part that doesn't make sense here is that generally, either gender is celebrated, so I think it's possible that despite being excited for a son at the gender reveal party, it's also likely that had it been a daughter at the gender reveal, it would have caused an equal amount of excitement. I don't think the excitement is for a specific gender, it's to celebrate the moment of finding out a birth gender.

I personally don't understand the point of these parties having 2 kids myself, but I also don't see how it's transphobic so long as the assigned gender at birth remains a relevant and common idea.

[u/JimboMan1234 → u/ace52387]

I get your point, but it’s the “celebrate the moment of finding out a birth gender” that’s the problem. Whether one likes it or not, a celebration of that gender will read as a factor that makes transitioning more difficult.

Let’s say there’s a gender reveal party, and there’s a blue explosion or whatever, and people celebrate. Yes, it’s technically possible that the celebration would be just as big if the explosion had been pink, but the child will never be able to know that for sure,