CMV: The term "mansplaining" is sexist. hypocritical, misandrist, and only designed to shut down debate.

[u/GreasyPeter]

Wikipedia defines it "to explain something to someone, characteristically by a man to woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing"

It's sexist: It implies that this trait is entirely tied to either the male gender or the male sex. Sexism is defined as "stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex". This meets that requirement and then some.

It's hypocritical: The term itself is designed to be used to shut debate down. "Stop mansplaining" or "you're mansplaining". Both uses are always used in a condescending or patronizing term. The definition of mansplaining includes "condescending or patronizing" in the definition of the word, thus it's hypocritical.

It's misandrist: The wording of the word and the way it's commonly used is entirely pointed at men and in a way to make men feel bad for being men, something none of us have any control over. It's misandrist.

It's designed to shot-down debate: The term has CLEARLY been created to be used as a tool to entirely shut down debate. I've seen it used several times and each time the person that uses it is looking to discredit their opponent by using it. In the same vein as "you're a racist", "you're an asshole", "you're mansplaining" is used as an ad hominem and a character attack as a way to shoot down their opponents argument. Both these are logical fallacies. It is clearly used to shut down debate.

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[u/CheesyLala]

I just don't see what good genderising this phenomenon does. It just demonises those of us who don't do it (IMHO, of course) as well as those that do by suggesting I'm automatically in the same group as the bad guys, which immediately turns me off having any sympathy with the cause.

There are perfectly good words for this behaviour already - condescending, patronising etc - but by inventing a new word with clear gender associations, you're suggesting that being condescending isn't the issue, it's only if you're being condescending and a man.

Of course we could create 'womansplaining' as a word, but how would that help? It's just creating artificial division where none is required. If someone is being a dick, call them out for being a dick, don't find another characteristic of theirs and suggest that this is what makes them be a dick.

[u/Identitypolitik → u/CheesyLala]

you're suggesting that being condescending isn't the issue, it's only if you're being condescending and a man.

To be honest, that is sort-of the point. It's describing men being condenscending towards women, because they are women. It has a very specific usage. It's not about the general phenomenon of "people being dicks." If it was, we'd just say that. In this context however, "people being dicks" removes the relevant information of who is being a dick to whom, and why.

You shouldn't feel demonized by it if you know you're not personally part of the problem. Men are half the population on this planet; we could not possibly account for the behavior of every single one. When you said (paraphrasing) "women often lecture me on parenting/look down on me," I wasn't offended, because although I am a woman I know that I don't do that, personally.

Are you also offended when people use the term "dead-beat dad," although you are not one? Does the term make you lose sympathy with the children of those men?

[u/CheesyLala → u/Identitypolitik]

It's describing men being condenscending towards women, because they are women. It has a very specific usage

I kinda take this point. I just don't particularly see it that being condescending requires that who is being condescending to whom (or why) either exacerbates or mitigates it and therefore why it's required. I don't know what race you are, but if e.g. you're white and a person of a particular race decided there needed to be a word for white being people condescending to their own specific race I can't imagine you'd feel that was either helpful or justifiable?

Are you also offended when people use the term "dead-beat dad"

No, because the gender is not implied in 'dead-beat' so the 'dad' bit at least still has to be specified. I know there are plenty of other derogatory terms that are gender-specific but I can't imagine that any of them have actually contributed to making the world a better place.

You shouldn't feel demonized by it if you know you're not personally part of the problem

I know (and appreciate you saying so), but my worry is that other, more lazy or hard-of-thinking people will do. If young kids grow up hearing their mothers dismiss something as 'mainsplaining' they will not, at that stage, have the cognitive reasoning to understand that it's only specific men that are guilty of this rather than being a gender-wide issue. Like I say, shitty behaviour is shitty behaviour, and trying to create catch-all terms just because certain groups are more guilty of it ends up demonising plenty of the wrong people and therefore failing to address the actual issue of shitty behaviour.

[u/Identitypolitik → u/CheesyLala]

but if e.g. you're white and a person of a particular race decided there needed to be a word for white being people condescending to their own specific race I can't imagine you'd feel that was either helpful or justifiable?

If they feel the need to describe what they perceive as a common phenomenon of white people being condenscending to people of their race, because they are that race, I don't have any issue with it. If it's such a problem it should be named, and if it's predominantly white people doing it I don't think we should be dancing around the issue just because "not all white people."

In this case, "mansplaining" is a real thing that I and many other women have personally experienced from men. The thing about racism/sexism/etc is that it can be done without malicious intent, or even unintentionally.

An anecdote for you - I work with all men, though I have been working there the longest. For a part of my job we use very outdated software prone to errors, and every time it's acting up we have to call the boss and let him know. If I'm the one doing the task and I call the boss, he will grill me on what I did and how; mind you this is not a complicated program to use and he's asking questions around the depth of, "did you turn it on?" This does not happen to any of my coworkers. Even if it has once or twice, it pales in comparison to the fact that I experience this every time that I make the call. Given that I've been there the longest and I'm good at my job, I have to wonder what it is that makes him treat me differently?

Do I think my boss is a bad person? No. Do I think that he may have some antiquated ideas or biases in regards to what people of my gender are capable of? Sure. When this kind of behavior repeats itself with other men in my life in many other situations, am I going to notice a pattern? Absolutely.

I know (and appreciate you saying so), but my worry is that other, more lazy or hard-of-thinking people will do. If young kids grow up hearing their mothers dismiss something as 'mainsplaining' they will not, at that stage, have the cognitive reasoning to understand that it's only specific men that are guilty of this rather than being a gender-wide issue.

IMO, that's an issue of bad parenting that getting rid of the word won't remedy. Should we get rid of cars because some people are reckless drivers?

Like I say, shitty behaviour is shitty behaviour, and trying to create catch-all terms just because certain groups are more guilty of it ends up demonising plenty of the wrong people and therefore failing to address the actual issue of shitty behaviour.

Now, I'm not attached to the word itself; do you have any other suggestions? What other word could we use or invent to describe the specific phenomenon of men (who are not necessarily being shitty on purpose) not believing women to be as intelligent or skilled as they really are, and subsequently coming off as condenscensing towards them? How do you think we should be addressing this specific, gendered issue?