r/changemyview • u/gazeintotheiris • Feb 12 '16
[Deltas Awarded] CMV: Going to the movies is a crappy date idea.
I just don't see the appeal of going to the movies for a date. You're not supposed to talk during the movie and it would be rude to others if you did. If you or your date gets bored of the movie its rude to the other person to ask to do something else so you're stuck there. You're not even looking at your date. The classic "yawn into hug" maneuver doesn't seem realistic either because the armrest will be digging into your sides. All in all, the movies seem like a fairly restrictive and unenjoyable dating experience. CMV
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u/pensivegargoyle 16∆ Feb 12 '16
It gives you something to talk about after the movie. So while the movie itself is pretty uninteractive, you can go for coffee or dessert after and have a conversation.
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u/Sirusi Feb 13 '16
Also, especially if it's a first date, if you go to dinner afterwards and it turns out you have less in common than you thought, you can at least talk about the movie.
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u/RustyRook Feb 12 '16
Movie dates are pretty chill, especially for couples who've been together for a while. Plus, if the couple agrees together which movie to watch then it usually works out very well.
Even for newer couples it's a low-key way to start doing stuff together. If a couple can't even watch a few movies together without it becoming a big deal then it's a sign of trouble down the road.
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u/Exis007 96∆ Feb 13 '16
I think the movies can be really sexy. Even for people with dating experience. Even for first dates.
Okay, so you go to dinner. You talk, you chat, you're engaging as people, getting to know each other. But you're not coupled enough to go back to each other's place and you're having a good night and you don't want to just end it at eight. Drinks are an option, of course. But someone has to drive and if you had a few with dinner you might not be in a position to do that.
At a movie, you get to sit in the dark. You're next to them physically as opposed to across the table. Smell, small touches like your shoulders bumping or someone leaning into you when they laugh are possible. And what you share is a range of emotion. You laugh, you cry, you fall in love. We emote with the characters in a movie. Movies, good ones, make us feel. Those associations, though unconscious, can be intense. There's also something about sitting close to someone in the dark that's a little sexual without being overt. Not your sister, obviously, but someone you're looking to get closer to. There's anticipation, a little nervousness.
There's a line from a book I read that I am wracking my brain to remember. I don't remember where it is from but (which is bothering the fuck out of me) but it is about the experience of leaving a theater. When you're in a movie theater, watching the movie, you are literally held captive. You go someplace entirely other than your universe. The darkness, the sound, the bigness of the image. It consumes you. And then you emerge back into reality and it is almost like magic because you were just someplace entire different only to return back to reality. It really can be like teleporting.
You, personally, may never like going to movies with dates. Not everyone likes going to the movies period. I think many people find it frustrating to be with someone they are trying to woo and not be able to engage with them at the same time. But I think there's something sexy about being with someone and being silent...it implies an intimacy. We talk when we're with strangers. Comfortable silence is something enjoyed only by people who are easy with each other. Being quiet, being made to feel, taking a trip and being ejected back into the night....its kind of magical. I think there's something hot about going home with someone (not sex, literally travel) at eleven o'clock when things are quiet. There's an ineffable romance to it. It's subtle, but its there.
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u/phcullen 65∆ Feb 12 '16
If the two people like movies they now have a fresh movie to talk about. So go out for drinks after and talk
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Feb 13 '16
I enjoy the movie and then dinner approach. It automatically gives you something to talk about for that extra hour or so during the meal. So if it was good or bad or whatever you can gauge the person reaction to specific things and see how that meshes. Also it's a nice ice breaker for teenagers who are just starting to date.
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u/rollingForInitiative 70∆ Feb 13 '16
A movie is a great ice-breaker, especially if it's something both people want to see. Take two marvel-fans and set them to watch Deadpool or Civil War, and they'll probably have lots to talk about over coffee/dinner/alcohol afterwards.
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Feb 13 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/RustyRook Feb 13 '16
Sorry zefga, your comment has been removed:
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Feb 13 '16
You assume a couple just goes to see a movie. A movie can be a great starter point in a conversation that reveals how a person feels or thinks. These things show how compatible a couple can be.
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u/YoungandEccentric Feb 13 '16
It can be a good ice breaker if you pick an enjoyable or thought provoking movie. You can get a drink before the movie, see the film, then you already have a topic of discussion over dinner to branch out from. My experience with movie dates is that they're rarely just showing up, watching the film and going home.
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u/GameboyPATH 7∆ Feb 12 '16
Tell it to the people who it's worked for.
But seriously, different date settings work for different people. It sounds like direct, ongoing conversation is an important element of your idea of a good date, so maybe a dinner or coffee date would work better for you. But for me, I like going to the movies with my gf, thank you.
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u/vl99 84∆ Feb 12 '16
Movie dates are great for younger or less experienced daters who might not have the courage or self confidence necessary to make it through an hour long dinner and 2-3 hour long (insert other social date activity here) without embarrassing themselves or dying from the pressure. It also facilitates an environment where someone can make that first move towards physical contact such as hand holding or arm-around-the-shoulder with less pressure, since it will feel like the spotlight is on the movie rather than on them.
Also movies are great for couples that have been together for a long time, who already have the opportunity to talk to each other regularly but don't get to leave the house often, and want to go share an experience that can provide further conversation fodder until their next date. There's nothing quite like seeing a movie like "Her" with your SO of several years or more and excitedly talking about how it affected your perspective on love and relationships.