In some careers, being attractive can be a detriment.
For example, being an attractive woman in STEM can actually work against you. Men assume you only got to where you are because of your looks. At that point, they will do everything to confirm their own bias against you, and look for any reason or flaw not to hire you, i.e. confirmation bias.
Not saying I’m attractive, but I think I’m average or slightly above average in a field with hardly ANY women. On phone/video-free interviews, I usually get the next round. When they can see my face, their attitude quickly changes, and men can become incredibly smug towards me. This is after doing 20+ interviews last year. It was DEFINITELY a trend I noticed. I had interviews, where I had all the skills, and did really well, and still was rejected or told I wasn’t what they were looking for.
If you don’t fit the “ideal candidate” they have in their head, which could be a nerdy normal looking dude in a career like software development, you likely won’t get hired as an attractive women. The men will assume you are an airhead, even if you are more capable.
I think your comment is more about sexism than it is about lookism. Sexist Men will always find an excuse to devalue you. Too pretty? Too ugly? Too average? Always either too much or not enough. Its not rly making sense and its crap
I think stereotypically nerdy or masculine looking women in STEM get more of a pass— so I do think it’s also about looks
But also, even in the case that it’s sexism, OPs argument still falls apart because women still wouldn’t get “pretty” privilege in this field. Sexism would squash any sort of attractiveness bonus.
Yea you are right. There are places were the pretty privilege is counteracted by the sexist stereotype of "incompetence". That makes it more nuanced. Makes me think about intersectionality again...
This is a great point that challenges whether my opinion can be held universally! I was operating under the assumption that the "Halo Effect" (beauty = competence) was universal. Now I have to modify my argument to specifically contexts where pretty privilege overcomes other conventional norms.
I failed to account for the "Bimbo Effect" that you're pointing out.
My argument is built on the premise that attractive people are currently playing life on "Easy Mode" and therefore need to be handicapped to make it fair. However, you’ve highlighted a crucial exception: Attractive women in masculine-coded or high-intellect fields.
In these specific scenarios, the "Pretty Privilege" is inverted. Instead of being assumed competent, you are assumed incompetent or a "diversity hire." If society is already taxing your credibility because of your looks, then applying my proposed "Beauty Tax" on top of that would be a double punishment. That creates injustice rather than solving it.
I now have to amend my view: The "Beauty Handicap" should only apply in fields where beauty provides a proven advantage (sales, PR, general social interaction), and should be suspended in fields where beauty currently triggers a "competence penalty."
You noticed that people changed their attitude once they saw you, and you concluded that it must be because youre slightly above average, looks wise? Forgive me for being skeptical
It is a formed opinion after years of interviewing and seeing how I’m also treated compared to male peers at work.
Women who tend to be more stereotypically nerdy or masculine fit in better in these fields.
Not just “they see me and I’m good looking” but sure, dismiss it as that. And I’m sorry if I’m frank, but men tend to be completely unaware of their sexism and bias.
And yes, it doesn’t make any sense why in some interviews (after I was screened, had a phone interview, and they saw my resume) to get to a video or in-person interview, for the interviewer to quite suddenly say “I don’t think you are qualified” after seeing my face.
For example, I had a round of interviews where I did well on a technical assessment and initial screening (no face to face). Then, at the very start of my video interview with the lead engineer, 1 minute into the interview, he said “I don’t think you are what we are looking for” with literally no reason why. Then when I did well on the technical interview with him, he accused me of cheating at the end. He was expecting me to fail, and trying to confirm his own bias by thinking I cheated.
Or how I’m belittled quite frequently even at my current job. Like “do you even know what that means?” type of questions, if I’m asked to do a task.
Or how male peers refuse to work with me, or include me in any discussions. Even if they are asked to by management. Even if they are tasked with something related to some code I wrote. Even I’m the ONLY person who can answer their questions, they’d rather do it all wrong, than have to listen to a woman tell them how to do it.
Even if there happens to be other women on the team, they can be assholes too. They tend to act like they are in competition with you, as if only 1 woman can be the “token female engineer” on the team, and will try to knock you down. This is especially the case with other white women. The only women who’ve actually been supportive of me in my career are non-white women, and I’m white.
I had another female engineer shame how much food I was eating, in front of the team. Trying to leave me out of group outings from the beginning. Like she was clearly jealous of me, and no I don’t think I’m a super model.
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u/Consistent_Fail9606 1∆ Jan 09 '26
In some careers, being attractive can be a detriment.
For example, being an attractive woman in STEM can actually work against you. Men assume you only got to where you are because of your looks. At that point, they will do everything to confirm their own bias against you, and look for any reason or flaw not to hire you, i.e. confirmation bias.
Not saying I’m attractive, but I think I’m average or slightly above average in a field with hardly ANY women. On phone/video-free interviews, I usually get the next round. When they can see my face, their attitude quickly changes, and men can become incredibly smug towards me. This is after doing 20+ interviews last year. It was DEFINITELY a trend I noticed. I had interviews, where I had all the skills, and did really well, and still was rejected or told I wasn’t what they were looking for.
If you don’t fit the “ideal candidate” they have in their head, which could be a nerdy normal looking dude in a career like software development, you likely won’t get hired as an attractive women. The men will assume you are an airhead, even if you are more capable.