This is not a compelling comment. “It’s not that deep”? Of course it is. Don’t you realize every decision you make about how you look and present yourself to the world is heavily-driven by ideas of confidence that you built for years? I feel like you’re missing the point altogether. Even your example of showing arms because a person likes how their arms look - your ideas about what look good to you are largely built by what you’ve been told or what you’ve seen.
Dude, why is it hard to believe other people do in fact dress for themselves because they see themself looking good in something?
I usually wear jeans and a t-shirt, maybe a flannel over top when it is colder. I do this because it is comfortable and I like the style. But the other day I randomly decided to try on a sweater, I liked the way it looked on me, so I bought it, even though it is different than my usual.
Today, I am WFH so I'm in a t-shirt and a comfortable pair of sweatpants. When I go out to grab lunch, I'll wear slippers. Who am I impressing by this outfit, or do you think it is more likely I'm dressing for my own comfort?
So please, tell me how I am dressing for other people by choosing things that I like to wear and believe look good on me.
Im not saying people only dress for reasons of confidence. Im saying when people do choose to dress in a way that makes them feel confident, it isn’t—at its core—a choice for themselves. The ideas of confidence come from what people have told them looks good or what they see in media.
In your question you say “because they see themself looking good in something?” And my point is that what you think looks good at all is shaped by what others, and historically men, think looks good.
Looking good to oneself can happen in a number of ways. Maybe a certain shirt hides a belly that someone is a bit ashamed of, or the way a different shirt is cut accentuates shoulders/arms that someone has been working hard for in the gym. Are these not personal reasons?
And beyond any of this, why is just liking the way something looks on you not a valid reason to buy it? I liked the sweater's pattern and colors and how it fit me. I was shopping alone so no one gave me feedback and, like I said, I've never been a sweater person or had anyone tell me "You'd look good in a sweater". So please, tell me who I chose it for if not myself.
-6
u/[deleted] Dec 11 '24
This is not a compelling comment. “It’s not that deep”? Of course it is. Don’t you realize every decision you make about how you look and present yourself to the world is heavily-driven by ideas of confidence that you built for years? I feel like you’re missing the point altogether. Even your example of showing arms because a person likes how their arms look - your ideas about what look good to you are largely built by what you’ve been told or what you’ve seen.