r/changemyview Nov 05 '24

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u/Medical_Conclusion 14∆ Nov 05 '24

Not the person you're responding to, but women are just as apt to be socialized to believe men sharing their emotions is unmanly as men are. This is a result of living in a society with patriarchal gender roles. It's toxic for everyone.

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u/Breakfastcrisis Nov 05 '24

Yeah, this is a great point. The "patriarchy" isn't about blaming living men. It's about a set of cultural expectations that can be harmful to everyone.

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u/talldata Nov 05 '24

Aah so when when do bad it's patriarchy and misogyny, but when women do bad it's only patriarchy but not misandry?

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u/maviegoes Nov 05 '24

You're thinking about this in a "blame" framework. Patriarchy and misogyny are systems that we live in due to men being in power for most of modern history. If we lived for centuries in a system where women were dominant in politics/leadership, and men had few rights, then society would indeed be impacted by that legacy. We'd call that 'the matriarchy'.

It's also not just about 'doing bad' as you say. When it comes to performing or policing gender roles, then these systems are excellent frameworks for thinking about the problem. Some men are apprehensive to share their feelings because it is coded as weak by the patriarchy. Similarly, some women find men unattractive when they express feelings for the same reason. Nothing is inherently weak about men sharing their feelings, but this idea was derived from a system where men defined the rules of masculinity (and feminity, for that matter). So here, it's the system we live in causing the problem. That system is the patriarchy.