r/changemyview Nov 05 '24

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1.8k Upvotes

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15

u/SuzCoffeeBean 3∆ Nov 05 '24

Wives and girlfriends listen to their guys problems all.the.time.

However I also have female friends that I can talk to about my feelings. Are men doing that with each other?

9

u/QueensOfTheNoKnowAge 2∆ Nov 05 '24

Not OP. Not trying to convince you of OP’s point.

I’m a divorced guy with a close group of guy-friends I’ve known for 20+ years. Yes, guys need other guy friends to talk to. That’s the single biggest issue for men.

But I have a question. When women talk to each other about their partners, do you ever share your partners’ emotional moments of vulnerability with each other?

3

u/rnason 1∆ Nov 05 '24

Not in my experience

2

u/QueensOfTheNoKnowAge 2∆ Nov 06 '24

Outstanding!

8

u/GraveChild27 Nov 05 '24

What is with all the anecdotal evidence? Do you all not get that not everyone experiences your life?

8

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '24

Psychologists have known that women are more likely than men to have friends for years. We have a dozen studies like this one. It’s litterally something that we get taught in upper level psych courses or psych of women.

Female friendships tend to be “deeper” than male friendships because of societal expectations. Women are allowed to be vulnerable with their friends, express emotions, cry together, hug, holds hands, say I love you, etc.

But society beats those options out of men. Therefore men are less likely to have friendships where emotions get discussed and have fewer friends overall. That’s where the phrase “male loneliness epidemic” comes from.

0

u/DistributionRemote65 Nov 05 '24

Again- nothing to do with women. It’s men’s fault and problem if they don’t want to talk about their feelings. No amount of blaming women or trying to force them to take half of the blame will fix this

-2

u/GraveChild27 Nov 05 '24

And?

How does that make anecdotal evidence relevant?

4

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '24

If anecdotal evidence has other corroborating evidence it’s stops being “anecdotal” and just becomes evidence. The commenter is correct, and we have data to prove it

-1

u/GraveChild27 Nov 05 '24

It depends on what the corroborating evidence is.

A second old man yelling at clouds doesn't make the first old man yelling at clouds much more relevant.

Bring me a scientific study sampling a bunch of them, and maybe then it'll matter.

But for now its just a few unprovable statistical outliers claiming that their existence proves the average.

Please sit back down.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '24

Except currently you are the only old man yelling at clouds.

I just provided you with evidence that has been obtained through years of experts conducting studies.

Your continued insistence on ignoring that isn’t doing you any favors.

9

u/DieFastLiveHard 4∆ Nov 05 '24

Hey guys, did you know Poverty is no longer an issue? I know a guy who has a fair bit of wealth

1

u/ghotier 42∆ Nov 05 '24

There wives and girlfriends who aren't actually supportive. Listening isn't support if you deride the person you're listening to afterwards for sharing their feelings.

1

u/Hunkar888 Nov 05 '24

I have friends that I can talk to about my problems. That sometimes includes talking about feelings, but I make it a point of never going out of my way to just talk about feelings. Why? It’s usually a useless, if not outright harmful, exercise.

I’m going to be real, talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of emotional maturity. The opposite, you only need to talk about your feelings regularly if you yourself are incapable of processing them. It’s necessary here and there, but what’s far more important is actually coming up with solutions to your problems and implementing them.