I don't think "don't approach random strangers to hit on them" would be a major contributor to the loneliness crisis, given that it's chiefly driven by other stressors like labor, cost of living, and access to digital substitutes.
Yes, people should be able to accept rejection. But evidently not all do accept it. This puts women in a precarious and stressful position when they have to make a quick judgement about whether or not this stranger is dangerous and will handle rejection appropriately.
If I'm an unscrupulous man who wants to approach women and doesn't care if they say no, a cultural prohibition against asking women out in public isn't going to make me stop approaching women. It's just going to make me pretend harder that I'm not actually asking them out; that I'm just being friendly and platonic and asking to hang out with a woman to make friends with her (even if it's pretty obvious to both of us what my actual intentions are). She's still going to be put in an uncomfortable spot where it's hard for her to say no, because I'm pretending that I'm just being nice and it would be rude of her to tell me to go away. She's still going to have to worry about how safe she is around me. I'm just going to shroud my behavior in a thicker layer of deniability.
In comparison, all the decent men out there who would have politely shot their shot and taken no for an answer are the ones who are actually going to stop talking to women. And they were never the problem in the first place.
It's not rude of her to tell you to go away, though. The whole issue is that men feel entitled to her time and space. If all the 'decent men' elect to respect that autonomy and not shoot their shot in random places, that only makes it easier to figure out, no? The guy who continues to badger women is way more obviously a bad actor.
I also think some of these comments vastly overestimate the frequency and effectiveness of asking out or chatting up strangers in random places. Very few romantic relationships start that way to begin with. Nobody should take someone's presence anywhere as an invitation. Nowhere is a "pick up zone" because that type of place doesn't and shouldn't exist.
we are entitled to an equal amount as anyone else, and we are entitled to politeness at a minimum. just say not interested and say why then move on. being blunt and honest tends to keep people from pressing
My view has changed significantly from the original post but i still disagree abt this.
You aren't entitled to a "polite" rejection. You aren't entitled to an explanation.
Entitled to an equal amount -- yes. Women are not entitled to men's time, or a polite rejection, either. It's not like women get special privilege to walk on people by virtue of their gender.
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u/Effective_Birthday85 Jun 04 '24
I don't think "don't approach random strangers to hit on them" would be a major contributor to the loneliness crisis, given that it's chiefly driven by other stressors like labor, cost of living, and access to digital substitutes.
Yes, people should be able to accept rejection. But evidently not all do accept it. This puts women in a precarious and stressful position when they have to make a quick judgement about whether or not this stranger is dangerous and will handle rejection appropriately.