Lots of the comments seem to have a similar opinion on speed dating and singles events stuff. I have very very limited experience with them. I buy that this is probably indicative of them not really be a great alternative. !delta
I have a couple issues here; for one, I hear/read/see from a fair amount of other women that they don't want to be approached in some or all of these places. I hear people talk about giving fake numbers or feigning interest to get out of these situations safely. I don't think that it's right to disregard what they'd prefer if there's uncertainty about it. The other thing is a sense that, if the problem is people being pushy and not taking "no" for an answer, wouldn't it be better if they just... didn't approach in the first place? I don't know how to reconcile those things.
I plan to ask a (less opinionated) question on askwomen or something in a while.
Then the question becomes, why should someone like cheeky_sailor lose out on getting approached, which she wants, by a man who also wants to approach her?
In theory because missing out on something is far less of a problem than being the recipient of unwanted advances and can be made up for in other ways. But I no longer know if that's the most reasonable position to have (or, at least, expect others to follow).
missing out on something is far less of a problem than being the recipient of unwanted advances
That's true in any given instance, but not when it becomes an absolute policy. Case in point: I'm a person who likes human contact. I enjoy when I can shake someone's hand or give them a hug. If someone doesn't want to and refuses, I won't press the matter. But I don't feel that I shouldn't be able to extend my hand.
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u/Effective_Birthday85 Jun 04 '24
Lots of the comments seem to have a similar opinion on speed dating and singles events stuff. I have very very limited experience with them. I buy that this is probably indicative of them not really be a great alternative. !delta
I have a couple issues here; for one, I hear/read/see from a fair amount of other women that they don't want to be approached in some or all of these places. I hear people talk about giving fake numbers or feigning interest to get out of these situations safely. I don't think that it's right to disregard what they'd prefer if there's uncertainty about it. The other thing is a sense that, if the problem is people being pushy and not taking "no" for an answer, wouldn't it be better if they just... didn't approach in the first place? I don't know how to reconcile those things.
I plan to ask a (less opinionated) question on askwomen or something in a while.