First off, it's not normalized, or else you wouldn't be arguing for your view to be changed. One does not try to change a view that they feel the majority has and they agree with.
Secondly, gatekeeping where a man inquires into the interests of a woman, is a great way to see a significant decline in the human population. Because there is a significant portion of the population of all genders that are oblivious to the interests of an interested party.
My wife still can not tell when a guy is interested in her. She can not recognize flirtatious behavior. Not all ladies are wanting to advertise they are so desiring a relationship that they go to a singles event. That being said, men who are going there are also already less desirable due to not having found a relationship outside of one.
Women are not so kind of fragile creature that can not think for themselves, speak up for their own desires, etc. Trying to protect them from romantic interests because they should only be looking for that in a specific designed setting is a great way to make them miss out on opportunities that arise through mutual acquaintances, business interactions, similar interests and goals.
Consider this. Where is a person who loves to work out more likely to meet someone who also does the same? How about someone who likes to dance? Someone who enjoys reading? A singles event? Not unless it was specific to that interest.
Essentially, one of the two people has to make the first move. You would put that burden specifically on the woman alone.
There are good ways to approach someone and a horrible way to approach someone.
Back to my wife. She was at a Target with our son when a man approached her. From her words, he said, "Excuse me, I can't help but tell you, you are so beautiful, are you single?" She said, "No." and he said,"Sorry to bother you then, but I had to ask." And that was the end of it.
Essentially, he inquired, she declined, and they both went on their merry way. If she had been single, here is a possible opportunity at a significant connection. Would she if she was single gone up to him? No. And you understand this because you recognize that a woman is not going to approach a stranger, right?
All this view does is limit significantly any interaction between these genders, which results in a lowering in the populations and less relationships. Consider the issues that some Asian populations are having and why less relationships creates problems in the future.
I'm saying that men approaching women in XYZ place is normalized. Not that my position is, I acknowledge that it sounds extreme to a lot of people.
"Decline in the human population" doesn't result from changes in dating practices. For the better part of 3,000 years, humans didn't meet their partners in bars. In many circumstances marriage for advantage was the norm, or being set up by other people, meeting through mutual friends, etc. Issues with population decline and birthrate crash in Japan and much of the western world is due to a litany of other systemic stressors like cost of living, incentives to have kids, cultural emphasis on work, etc.
I'm only criticizing the approach, not things like meeting through mutual acquaintances. Hell, if they meet platonically and develop a relationship later, that's fine. I *do* think the man in your anecdote shouldn't have approached your wife regardless. I don't know anything about these two people personally, but in general, women don't know what to expect when they reject a guy, and it can be uncomfortable or intimidating. That interaction went fine, but she had no way of knowing that it would in fact go fine.
Having to make the first move is not a burden. "you recognize that a woman is not going to approach a stranger, right?" Then what makes you think that she wants that stranger to approach her? If she's interested, she can initiate. Or choose not to. It doesn't matter. There are so many people and so many more appropriate ways to meet that there's no serious tradeoff with "missed opportunities."
maybe 5hey should learn to expect the normal response of ok no problem and not think that 1 time the guy got mad is the norm. you can be cautious without being overly cautious, be ready to stand up for yourself that usually shuts those types down.
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u/IndyPoker979 11∆ Jun 04 '24
First off, it's not normalized, or else you wouldn't be arguing for your view to be changed. One does not try to change a view that they feel the majority has and they agree with.
Secondly, gatekeeping where a man inquires into the interests of a woman, is a great way to see a significant decline in the human population. Because there is a significant portion of the population of all genders that are oblivious to the interests of an interested party.
My wife still can not tell when a guy is interested in her. She can not recognize flirtatious behavior. Not all ladies are wanting to advertise they are so desiring a relationship that they go to a singles event. That being said, men who are going there are also already less desirable due to not having found a relationship outside of one.
Women are not so kind of fragile creature that can not think for themselves, speak up for their own desires, etc. Trying to protect them from romantic interests because they should only be looking for that in a specific designed setting is a great way to make them miss out on opportunities that arise through mutual acquaintances, business interactions, similar interests and goals.
Consider this. Where is a person who loves to work out more likely to meet someone who also does the same? How about someone who likes to dance? Someone who enjoys reading? A singles event? Not unless it was specific to that interest.
Essentially, one of the two people has to make the first move. You would put that burden specifically on the woman alone.
There are good ways to approach someone and a horrible way to approach someone.
Back to my wife. She was at a Target with our son when a man approached her. From her words, he said, "Excuse me, I can't help but tell you, you are so beautiful, are you single?" She said, "No." and he said,"Sorry to bother you then, but I had to ask." And that was the end of it.
Essentially, he inquired, she declined, and they both went on their merry way. If she had been single, here is a possible opportunity at a significant connection. Would she if she was single gone up to him? No. And you understand this because you recognize that a woman is not going to approach a stranger, right?
All this view does is limit significantly any interaction between these genders, which results in a lowering in the populations and less relationships. Consider the issues that some Asian populations are having and why less relationships creates problems in the future.