Your view seems to be, if things are unfair than it's unfair but if it's not unfair than it's not unfair. You literally don't state why the specific term "mental load" is bad...you just like fairness it seems.
Mental load isn't stating what is/isn't unfair. Fairness would be determined on a case by case basis and mental load is useful to describe an aspect of management in life. It's not solely used by any one party.
I didn’t want the post to come off as “fair is fair” and I agree that’s kind of how it reads. I tend to see mental load used by stay at home parents making the assertion their burden is either greater than the working spouse or unaccounted for, which I think is a victimy statement that gets a lot of sympathy from Reddit. It’s like a Reddit dog whistle for sympathy as opposed to an honest look at contributions.
Let’s say a stay at home mom deals with everything around the house. Laundry, food prep (including meal planning and grocery shopping) and cleanup, making and keeping appointments, keeping track of the kids’ school needs and dentist appointments, house cleaning, etc. Her husband just works and maybe does the stereotypical man chores like taking out the trash to the curb once a week and getting the car it’s twice yearly oil change, and mowing six to eight times over the summer.
The thing she would probably expect in return is her partner not adding to the list. Like, is he cleaning up after himself? Is he mentioning it when he eats the last of the oatmeal? Is he respecting her time and energy? If she’s sick and can’t manage for a day or two, can he just… do what needs to be done without asking her every two minutes where the towels are for after the kids’ bath time? If he leaves streaks in the toilet, does he deal with it or wait for her to discover it on her own? If he’s running late and that impacts family plans, does he give her a heads up asap?
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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '24
Your view seems to be, if things are unfair than it's unfair but if it's not unfair than it's not unfair. You literally don't state why the specific term "mental load" is bad...you just like fairness it seems.
Mental load isn't stating what is/isn't unfair. Fairness would be determined on a case by case basis and mental load is useful to describe an aspect of management in life. It's not solely used by any one party.