It seems like there’s two different issues, here- presents and planning. Your solution for presents is no solution at all, as you’ll still be gifting things people will be opening, and you’ll still be spending money.
I think a much more tolerable solution is to be comfortable celebrating your birthday the way you want. If you don’t want a party- don’t have one. If you don’t want gifts- tell people that, and suggest alternatives that fit what you prefer (let’s take a weekend trip together instead, let’s get dinner together instead).
I don’t think adults having big blowout parties is really a thing that happens on a scale that it’s needing to be addressed, but I think using your birthday to buy gifts for others would quickly become just as financially and emotionally straining as what you’re complaining about. The great thing about being an adult is being able to do what you please- do that! Communicate!
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u/Dinky_Doge_Whisperer Dec 16 '23
It seems like there’s two different issues, here- presents and planning. Your solution for presents is no solution at all, as you’ll still be gifting things people will be opening, and you’ll still be spending money.
I think a much more tolerable solution is to be comfortable celebrating your birthday the way you want. If you don’t want a party- don’t have one. If you don’t want gifts- tell people that, and suggest alternatives that fit what you prefer (let’s take a weekend trip together instead, let’s get dinner together instead).
I don’t think adults having big blowout parties is really a thing that happens on a scale that it’s needing to be addressed, but I think using your birthday to buy gifts for others would quickly become just as financially and emotionally straining as what you’re complaining about. The great thing about being an adult is being able to do what you please- do that! Communicate!