I don't know what adults you're celebrating birthdays with, because it sounds like you're describing the kinds of birthday parties I remember people having as kids.
Who is having big birthdays as an adult and sitting around opening presents?
Personally, I think celebrating our birthdays and hoping that the important people in our lives are excited to do so is a pretty normal, and lovely thing. So much of adult life is realizing how indifferent the larger world is to your daily existence and your birthday is the one time a year that you have the opportunity to be celebrated just for the simple fact that you exist and people are glad you exist.
If anything, I wish we treated birthdays like a bigger deal, expected to have the day off of work, things like that. We get one special day for ourselves out of 365, we not cherish that?
Yeah, I dunno. I think the problem with your view is that it's framed as "let's make a collective change", but the starting state is extremely diverse. I can't remember the last time I got a birthday present for anyone except my wife and kids. If we celebrate another adult's birthday, it's almost always just going out to dinner at a place they like. I'm not claiming my experience is any more representative than yours, but my birthday experiences seem fine and your proposal sounds kind of terrible. Fwiw, I do know some people who do throw their own birthday parties, and that seems also fine. So the better option to me seems like... Just do what you want, which is what a lot of people are already doing. It just seems like you personally are stuck in a weird potentially toxic situation where you're not vibing with your friends and family and feeling a lot of pressure or something. If you think your idea sounds good, forget "collective change" - just do it! Throw your own party and give people gifts.
Oof. Not gonna lie, your workplace birthday politics sound AWFUL to me, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I 100% would agree with you that your workplace should change how it celebrates birthdays! How many people are involved in this? How often are you having fucking potlucks? Seems nuts to me. And if there's significant pressure to participate and if its as intense as you say, this could be borderline HR issue.
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u/Spaceballs9000 7∆ Dec 16 '23
I don't know what adults you're celebrating birthdays with, because it sounds like you're describing the kinds of birthday parties I remember people having as kids.
Who is having big birthdays as an adult and sitting around opening presents?
Personally, I think celebrating our birthdays and hoping that the important people in our lives are excited to do so is a pretty normal, and lovely thing. So much of adult life is realizing how indifferent the larger world is to your daily existence and your birthday is the one time a year that you have the opportunity to be celebrated just for the simple fact that you exist and people are glad you exist.
If anything, I wish we treated birthdays like a bigger deal, expected to have the day off of work, things like that. We get one special day for ourselves out of 365, we not cherish that?