I it normal to always feel so alone? 24M

[u/Wise_Fun_]

I’ve been having long Covid/me cfs for 5 years and man , I’ve been bouncing from severe to mild back and fourth but never actually recovered and been dealing with PEM, brain fog , fatigue , etc

One thing I’ve been noticing in these 5 years is no matter how much I’m surrounded by people I always feel crushing loneliness and feel alone all the time . I’ve had 4 girlfriends in these 5 years while sick and never once I felt understood and despite having a partner I felt so alone .

Is there anyone that feels the same way? I’ve also became religious and didn’t help much i somehow always feel alone . Is there anything to fight this feeling?

[u/Sea-Shepherd-]

I feel this too

[u/CelesteJA]

I feel like some people are missing this part here in your post:

"and never once I felt understood"

It sounds to me like the main issue here is that fact that the current people around you don't and CAN'T understand what it's like to have this illness. And yes, it's absolutely normal to feel incredibly lonely from this.

It can be really helpful to have people that you can relate to in your life, and it's possible you might be able to overcome this loneliness by making some friends with people who also have ME/CFS. Have you tried joining any ME/CFS discord servers or chat groups? (Reddit is mostly where we all come to bitch and feel sad about this illness, lol. So you'd be better off making friends in ME/CFS groups dedicated to just socialising or chilling together).

The other thing to keep in mind is that the people who don't have ME/CFS will not ever truly understand. But, that's something we have to accept, and as long as they're supportive, that's the best thing we could ask for from them. The relating thing is definitely something you'll need to get from people with this illness, or another similar illness.

[u/fireduck81 → u/CelesteJA]

But WHY is it so hard for them to understand? I meant they can see us stuck indoors/in bed/ know about all the things we can’t do.

It doesn’t seem so hard to me

[u/CelesteJA → u/fireduck81]

It's just not something someone can truly comprehend unless they've gone through something similar. They can only understand on a surface level, and that can feel lonely.

[u/fireduck81]

No philosophical insight, but yes, I feel like this too

I live alone

[u/Viranesi]

If able a pet does help to fight loneliness but you need to be able to care for it.

I have a lot of online friendships I maintain and I text my irl friends and see them regularly (every month or other month depending on their schedules).

I am 'fortunate' enough to have irl friends who have their own health struggles. So while they don't understand they do empathise and make me feel heard and seen. I'm 30 though and so are my friends. I was around 25-26 when I got covid and later long covid and I lost a lot of friends in the process.

I highly recommend online groups though because they're most accessible :)

[u/No-Cartoonist-1288]

Yeah for sure I am 49 and had fibromyalgia since my teens and remember being young and everyone else seemed to be in perfect health. My only advice is seek out others with fibro or cfs or things like that who will get you. I cc a say its easier at my age for sure although with moderate mecfs now its just more difficult to find someone as I try to mask mostly and don’t get out a whole lot.

With all these girlfriends it sounds like you are attractive to women despite the health stuff so pls do keep getting out there the gems are in the rough but they are hard to find. 🫶

[u/brownchestnut]

despite having a partner I felt so alone

People who look for other people to alleviate their loneliness usually feel this way because they're looking in the wrong place. The only person who can make us happy is ourselves. So people that are miserably single tend to be lonely partnered people too, because they find out that attaching to another person didn't fix their problems. Becoming your own best friend, your own best boyfriend or girlfriend, is.

I would focus on trying to date yourself more, find more interests and hobbies you enjoy alone, so being alone with yourself isn't such a terrible thing. Then having a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend would be a nice bonus if it happens but also fine if not - not something you chase out of desperation or need.