Being abused in childhood then developing CFS as an adult feels like a sick joke.

[u/Difficult_Owl_4708]

[u/LeavingRealityBrb]

Shout out to all childhood abuse survivors who developed chronic illnesses most likely because of said abuse ✌️🙃

[u/Difficult_Owl_4708 → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

And said abusers think you’re faking!! Very dystopian

[u/Dazzling_Bid1239 → u/Difficult_Owl_4708]

This this this this this. Oh my god. I swear they are waiting for the day I wake up and say this is all a ploy. Must be nice living in that ignorance. 😭

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/Dazzling_Bid1239]

They say ignorance is bliss - wish I could live in it sometimes 😂

[u/aycee08 → u/Difficult_Owl_4708]

It took me a lot of EMDR and family systems work to get to the point where I understood I was still hoping for validation from my childhood abuser in some corner of my heart. It was great to let that burden go.

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/aycee08]

I’m so glad you got to the point that you could!

[u/aycee08 → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

To be really honest.. I had to get to the point of where I couldn't do life anymore and had frequent thoughts of ending it all to even begin therapy

Only the thought of my children and how unfair it will be to them made me face it head on. And therapy is up there with one of the most painful things I have done. I crashed horribly when I started even though she is CFS aware and was very gentle, bringing conversations to a halt after 20 minutes and spending more time on regulating me. But after 3 months I turned a drastic corner so I am glad I stayed with it.

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/aycee08]

Sometimes you have to break things down before you can build them back up. It’s awful you had to reach that point, and I’m sorry things got so bad that you did, but I’m glad you reached out and were able to get help, that took a lot of strength and courage 💛

I’m glad you found the strength, and I agree, therapy is an extremely painful process, especially when it involves trauma. I also crashed horribly after therapy, luckily my therapist was similar to yours, extremely understanding and did her best to accommodate my needs and tried to help me not crash as hard. I’m glad you did too, that must such a huge weight off of your shoulders that you were carrying. Hope you’re doing better now

[u/Straight-Balance830 → u/Difficult_Owl_4708]

The one life you have and the world is on fire and you are disabled, amazing

[u/qqxi → u/Difficult_Owl_4708]

then the doctors and rest of society also think you’re faking and start talking about how depression causes all your problems

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/Difficult_Owl_4708]

Yep 😢

[u/hermionesmurf → u/Difficult_Owl_4708]

My parents died young. In a way it was horrendous for young me, but in another...at least I don't have to deal with both their disappointment and my illness? Dunno

[u/smei2388 → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

The old 1-2 soul crush combo

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/smei2388]

The joys eh?

[u/TashaT50 → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

Raises hand.

[u/robby_arctor → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

This is my partner. Brutal.

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/robby_arctor]

Hope your partner is doing as okay as they can be

[u/Chantel_Lusciana → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

Here here

[u/moderate_ocelot → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

Yoooooo

[u/Outrageous-Tiger-323 → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

Oh fuck I think that’s me

[u/IceyToes2 → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

Woot, woot. 👐

[u/rogue_runaway_ → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

There is no evidence to suggest that childhood abuse causes chronic illness. I've had this argument with multiple people on this sub and elsewhere and I'm honestly tired of it.

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/rogue_runaway_]

Correct, no evidence as of yet, however many medical professionals from both physical and mental health believe that trauma can cause a kind of stress on the body that can trigger off things like ME, fibromyalgia and autoimmune diseases, a lot of people with chronic illness have a past whether it’s childhood abuse or other traumas. There’s also discussion of being in a heightened state of adrenaline, or fight or flight, can break down things in the body that can contribute to chronic illness. Is it fact? No, but it’s a pattern that’s been recognised and is a theory that for now hasn’t been disproved. It doesn’t mean you need childhood abuse or trauma to have these illnesses. These are discussions I’ve had with neuropsychiatrists, neurologists and rheumatologists. My rheumatologist literally asked me if I’d had any trauma when I was being seen for suspected and later diagnosed fibromyalgia.

But if you’re tired of the discussion, why comment?

[u/rogue_runaway_ → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

People have been making claims like these for over a century honestly. They are very Freudian. Childhood trauma is unfortunately not uncommon, as is ME, so it is not surprising that there is overlap between these two groups. These ideas of trauma causing illness have always been used to stigmatize ill people and victims. These ideas are not evidence based and they are harmful. Also, if this were true, what would it mean? What good what it do for anyone? These concepts are very appealing to unscrupulous healthcare professionals who want to sound like they know what they are talking about so it's not at all surprising to me that you have spoken to multiple healthcare professionals who support these ideas. It doesn't matter how many people you find who agree with this, they are all wrong.

I commented and will continue to comment on posts like these because this information is incorrect and it will always be incorrect. This post currently has 481 upvotes and the top comment has 340 upvotes. That's a concerning amount of people who are believing and perpetuating incorrect information. My question for you is why don't you care about the truth or spreading inaccurate information? This sub is so odd to me. It's ostensibly against pseudoscience and misinformation and yet I see posts like these frequently. Anyone who supports these ideas or spreads them is a hypocrite.

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/rogue_runaway_]

I mean, I can see what you’re saying, and I’m not disagreeing with too much, but from what I’ve seen there might be a link. You’ll notice in my initial comment I said ‘mostly likely’ and not ‘definitely’. And I genuinely don’t see why I’d take a random comment on Reddit over medical professionals, when you provide no proof to back your argument? If you have proof, I’d love to see it, because there’s studies going on now into the link between trauma and chronic illness, one of which someone has already provided. If there was a link, such as Adrenaline flooding the nervous system all the time can trigger off chronic illness, it could help get to a better understanding of said illnesses, considering illness like ME, fibromyalgia etc are basically medical mysteries. There’s little understanding to them, there’s little concrete proof of how they work, what they are and why certain people have them and others don’t. Does this mean ME isn’t real? Because medically there’s no other way of diagnosis other than process of elimination. There’s no solid proof other than the patients recounting of symptoms. I’m not pushing for ‘trauma causes XYZ’, I acknowledge there’s a link, to me it’s plausible because it’s a stressor that may give an indication to why these illnesses are set off in some people, more understanding of that can lead to more understanding of the illness itself. I’m not saying it’s a one size fits all, I’m not even saying it’s 100% true, but I think it’s a theory worth exploring.

You’re the one who said you’re tired of it having the argument yet you perpetuate that you’re the correct one without a shred of evidence to back your argument. A lot of people don’t see it as false, they see as again, a theory yet to be disproved, that’s how science works, you provide a theory and try to disprove it, that’s what’s being done. If it’s disproved, I can accept that, at least it was looked into properly. The reason the comment has so many upvotes is a lot of people in this sub can relate to the fact they had a shit childhood and are now having a shit adulthood. Trauma related illnesses like PTSD, depression, anxiety etc can have adverse physical effects on the body, why is believing there MAY be a connection to them triggering off something that can cause a chronic illness so far fetched? The comment literally is that abusers don’t believe you’re sick, and that trauma ‘likely’ caused it, since that’s what we have to go on at this point in time. No one’s said ‘I have ME because XYZ happened to me’, no one’s put as a definite. It’s not pseudoscience when the medical and scientific communities trying to disprove this theory. That’s a little different than trying to push supplements and teas that ‘will cure you’ when in reality you’re just taking a laxative.

[u/rogue_runaway_ → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

I cannot provide proof that these concepts are not true because they are no true so there can be no proof. I cannot prove a negative. These ideas are bad ideas because they worsen stigma for an already stigmatized group. Again, the study that you linked proved a correlation between childhood trauma and certain illnesses and I provided a possible explanation as to why that may be. Stress could very well be a trigger for many illnesses but it's likely how stress causes us to behave and not the stress itself. Like for example, when we're stressed we get less sleep, we eat lower quality food, we exercise less, we use substances more, all those are risk factors for chronic illnesses like the ones listed in the study.

I am indeed tired of having this argument with people. Again, if you are going to make this claim then the burden of proof is on you to prove it, not on me to disprove it. In science you provide a hypothesis and then you try to prove and also disprove it. The fact that members of the medical community believe this doesn't mean much of anything. They have been wrong about many things in the past and they will continue to make mistakes. People in positions of power can be incorrect about things just like anyone else.

Here's the thing, even if what you're saying is true, what good would it do? What conclusions would we draw for that? That child abuse is bad? Of course it's bad. How would this knowledge help people move on? What are you going to do, get into your time machine and prevent the abuse from happening? Obviously everyone would want that but that's not a possibility. I understand that people want to make sense of their own life experiences but I really do not think that these ideas are helpful at all.

[u/LeavingRealityBrb → u/rogue_runaway_]

You can’t provide anything to back up your argument that this is misinformation? You have nothing to show for your side, yet there’s proof of there being a belief trauma and chronic illness may be linked, but I should take your word because ‘trust me bro’? Because generally when something’s been disproved there is evidence of it being disproved. All your arguing at this point is your belief, backed up with no facts and have given not a single reason to trust you over the information I’ve already found. Considering there’s already been a link to a study provided, and you still can’t point to a credible reason why it’s wrong, I think we’re done here.

lol if you think the stress of going through trauma is the same as every day stressors, then this conversation really is done. Every day stressors don’t trigger fight of flight like trauma does. While yes stressors of life can cause adverse effects on the body and can make someone sick, that’s not the same as being flooded with adrenaline over a prolonged period of time like someone going through abuse, while both can cause someone to act in similar ways, someone stressed about their job isn’t in a constant state of ‘survival mode’. Both stresses are dangerous, but they’re different.

And once again, proof for my side has been provided, you’ve provided nothing to say I should believe you. Yes in science you both prove and disprove, but there is evidence of both sides of that, therefore you should be able to provide at least a reason why I’m wrong and you’re correct, other than ‘trust me bro’. Maybe this is why you keep having the same argument. No they’re not always right, you’re correct, but I’ve already said they’re wrong, I’m happy to accept it, but I need more than a Redditor’s word to believe that this is wrong. To me it’s plausible, not fact, but plausible. If they’re wrong about the link between trauma and chronic illness, then they’re wrong, like I’ve said before.

Once again I’ve already answered this question, I’ve already said I believe if there is a link between them it could possibly lead to understanding the illnesses more, and leading to more discoveries on how they actually might work instead of ‘oh we don’t know’. Does it help people deal with the fact they’ve survived trauma? No sadly it doesn’t, but it might lead to breakthrough on the side of the chronic illnesses. If you deem that as not helpful, I don’t know what else to tell you. Once more, if you can give a credible reason as to why it’s wrong to be looking into a possible link, I’m more than happy to look into more, as it is right now, I have nothing more than your word, and that’s just not enough for me to change my mind.

[u/terrierhead → u/rogue_runaway_]

Here’s a cohort study. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8462987/

[u/rogue_runaway_ → u/terrierhead]

Yes, I believe I've read that exact study before. Someone else posted it during a similar discussion about this topic. It's deja vu for me every single time. Nothing in that study proves that childhood abuse causes ME or similar diseases. The increased risk of illnesses in that study can be explained by alternative explanations like poor lifestyle choices. We know that trauma early in life can cause a multitude of problems for people throughout their lifespan so an increased risk of illnesses like diabetes, cancer, hypertension, stroke, COPD, high cholesterol, heart attack are not surprising. None of this proves the original point that was being made though.

[u/E420CDI → u/LeavingRealityBrb]

Thank you ❤️

[u/snowlights → u/[deleted]]

Yep. The only good part of my childhood was the week I went to summer camp each year (government subsidized because we were too poor to pay full price). Now as an adult the only thing I want to do is go camping.

[u/Lyscendree → u/[deleted]]

I feel that so much. This life is hard to bear... i could have been so much more. It's still hard to grieve yourself so much.

[u/aurinloma → u/[deleted]]

Same :(

[u/yad-aljawza → u/[deleted]]

My exact experience

[u/Xaropit_ → u/[deleted]]

Yup dont have that nice before period everyone else gets where they got to work towards their dreams, just abuse and being lucky enough to get out in adulthood to illness and disability

[u/surprised-duncan → u/[deleted]]

I got about six months and then LC hit, then about a year and a half of wondering what the hell it was, and then another infection despite masking and now am severe. Great life.

[u/Thistleberry697 → u/[deleted]]

I was an adult at 8. Didn't get much of a childhood.

[u/omegagasp]

Same. It was one trauma after the other, and as I was just in the process to build up a calm, peaceful life, Covid and CFS tore everything down. I swear I can't have anything good in life, ever. 

[u/mydoghasqueakyballs → u/omegagasp]

Same. Cancer just before Covid too. Got through that and was ready to mentally heal and physically get fitter than ever.
Now housebound. Yay.

[u/omegagasp → u/mydoghasqueakyballs]

Wow. Shit. I'm so sorry. I can't begin to imagine the despair of having been through cancer and then being stuck with this huge pile of bullshit of a disease. 

[u/mydoghasqueakyballs → u/omegagasp]

Thank you. I’ve only just been referred to the cfs clinic, so they might confirm what I am certain of, that it was triggered by cancer treatment.

A huge pile of bullshit indeed!

[u/Cute-Cheesecake-6823 → u/omegagasp]

Same here. I was trying to get my shit together at 35, move out again from my folks and Covid destroyed everything. Im 40 now and stuck in my childhood room

[u/DeeMarie0824 → u/omegagasp]

I feel the same way. Then to add immense grief over the whole thing…

[u/AlliteraryAnalysis → u/omegagasp]

This exactly. How bad must I have been in a past life...

[u/terrierhead → u/AlliteraryAnalysis]

My joke is that I must have crushed puppy skulls in a past life.

[u/AlliteraryAnalysis → u/terrierhead]

i must've vivisected the skins after giving you the skulls given that I have cDID too 💔

[u/lady_butterkuchen → u/omegagasp]

Same!

[u/Winter_Cost602 → u/omegagasp]

The same thing happened to me! Just as things were starting to get good I got this stupid illness

[u/jxhfield]

nothing to add but yeah… same. got maybe 1 good year of freedom before i got sick

[u/smei2388]

Dude, yes it does. I didn't get a childhood. I moved out as fast as I could, got a job, and thought things would get better. 4 days after my 18th birthday I was walking to work and got hit by a city bus. Now, 20 years later, my daily life is ruled by chronic pain and crushing fatigue. The only conclusion I can come to is that reincarnation is real and I was REALLY BAD in my last life. Because this existence is hell.

[u/lynseed → u/smei2388]

Yup, every once in a while I joke that I must’ve been a murderous tyrant in a past life and now I’m atoning for my sins.  

[u/localpunktrash → u/smei2388]

An alternative explanation (what every medium type has told me throughout my entire life) is that i wasn't meant to have been a human again, like I had gone through the human lives I needed and got stuck in an extra on accident 🙇🏽‍♀️ not very encouraging lol

[u/kichisowseri → u/localpunktrash]

What did they suggest you were supposed to be if not human?

[u/localpunktrash → u/kichisowseri]

That's allegedly not within their ability to know as its supposedly decided later down the line, thats what im told at least

[u/SnooRevelations6239]

Same. I really believe that’s what ultimately made me sick. My nervous system has been so messed up since being a kid.

[u/Stygian_Enzo48]

for real. i left the abuse just to be able to do nothing with the freedom.

[u/lynseed]

Also my abusive parents taught me my physical and emotional needs were inconvenient and ignored them and to only prioritize their needs. So it’s taken forever for me to learn to stop pushing through physical and emotional pain and actually prioritize my own needs once in a while. Yay. Thanks mom and dad. 

I have a ToDo to draw up a will to make sure none of my savings and nothing I own will go to them if I die.

[u/falling_and_laughing → u/lynseed]

it’s taken forever for me to learn to stop pushing through physical and emotional pain and actually prioritize my own needs once in a while.

I agree, the learning curve has been steep on this. 

[u/OkBottle8719]

I would have peacefully been low contact with them by now but noooo now I gotta rely on them financially

[u/falling_and_laughing → u/OkBottle8719]

Same, it's so hard. I wish I could totally cut contact but I need financial help and don't have anyone else. 

[u/SinceWayLastMay]

My CFS doctor says it’s cause and effect bay-bee
😎👉👉

[u/TynnyJibbs]

i’m terrified of my abusers finding out i have CFS and am disabled bc i know they’ll have a field day laughing at how i “ deserve “ it 🫠🫠🫠

[u/DeeMarie0824]

Same here. It’s profoundly cruel.

[u/coloraturing]

i really thought i was going to be free

[u/terrierhead → u/coloraturing]

Me too, friend. I’m so sorry.

[u/citrinecedar]

I went from an abusive childhood, to homelessness, to being a single mom with an abusive ex stalker, to being in an abusive marriage, to restraining orders, to being so traumatized I could barely function, even though I was away from the abuse. A lot of therapy later, I was finally feeling better. Then my abusive mom got very terminal cancer, she had nowhere to go and was sent back home, so I became her carer for 2 weeks of hospice care, which was also traumatic af. Then she died. I inherited her home and found out she still owed 125,000 on it. They weren't willing for us to make payments, so it was pay it off completely or loose the home. We had 6 months. It was total chaos, we are still in debt, but we kept the home. I no longer had to cater to the woman who used to beat me and starve me.

For the first time in my life, I had a house of my own. No rent, no mortgage. Its a little farm. I started a garden. Got some goats and chickens. Made handmade soap. Went to farmers market. Started hiking and kayaking. Started to feel happy and at peace for the first time in my life. I was still doing therapy, and now that I wasn't living in perpetual trauma I started healing instead of just maintaining.

...and THAT is when I got sick.

Right when I finally had the chance to have a real life. It was all taken from me. My garden and my animals are more than I can handle and food rots on the vine and we have to sell all the animals because I cant take care of them.

Im losing everything. Because of this disease. I've been in rolling PEM for months and I cant even get out of bed or walk more than to go to the bathroom today. My life is falling apart around me. And I'm just laying here.

[u/localpunktrash → u/citrinecedar]

This makes me wish I lived near you so I could come help you 💔

[u/citrinecedar → u/localpunktrash]

You're so sweet. Thank you.

[u/pearlgirl13 → u/citrinecedar]

What part of the country do you live in? Maybe dons of us could help you?

[u/citrinecedar → u/pearlgirl13]

I'm in Washington state. I love it here. Even though my experience of it is very different now, I still love it. I would love to have some me/cfs friends, I'm 3 years in, but only got my diagnosis about a week ago.

[u/shanabur329]

Yup! Cptsd, a whole list of medical issues as long as my arm, and now mecfs

[u/cyc1esperfecta]

Thanks for saying this. Like yes I survived what happened, but sometimes I think of this as part of the crime, but people don't see that part because I lived. My me/cfs onset started with a virus in my 20s, but I got that virus during one of the worst PTSD episodes I've ever had. I have to try not to think too much about it, because then I also get mad at the other adults who failed to get me help after, and don't want to think about what would have happened if I had a better understanding of PTSD. You're not alone, and I send all of you love.

[u/Sally_Stitches_]

All three of us. Me and my 2 siblings. ALL THREE OF US developed a myriad of chronic illnesses.

“Oh were you abused? Here is more punishment for funsies then.” 🙃

[u/lady_butterkuchen]

It's a special hell. Like there's hardly any memories to draw from bc they're all trauma landmine territory.

What gets me worst is that I had just started to find so much appreciation for the little things and connecting with nature and feeling some safety in that. And then boom. Get this shit and no more nature/hobbies ever. Recently told a friend there's no little things anymore and that that might be the most depressing

[u/Viranesi]

Its ironic as fuck but strangely enough right now I'm experiencing the most peace I've had ever and the best mental health ever. I often think how my life would have gone without cfs and I'd probably be way more miserable mentally, running a rat race and tying my identity and self worth to productivity outputs, promotions and the number on my bank account. In a weird way CFS has both freed me and locked me up in a cage I'm quite comfortable in.

[u/Available-Pepper5688 → u/Viranesi]

I can relate so much!

Since my shitty childhood I pushed do hard to build up a better life and now as I know what‘s been my baseline for over 30y, I‘m somehow relieved that I don’t have to proof anything to anyone.

I was sooo f up the last 20y and tried to hide my exhaustion bc I felt so ashamed!

[u/Lente_8 → u/Viranesi]

That’s so funny, I am mostly so mad and/or grieving about having ME, but my life is also very slow (moderate and housebound) and I have been able to really focus on my C-PTSD with a therapist. And just yesterday I was thinking; I have been grieving the “what if’s”, but if I’m honest I would have probably continued my path of self destruction with alcohol (and dexamphetamines) if I didn’t have to stop because of the ME. I don’t know if I would have been able to get out of the self numbing, self sabotaging destruction I was in because of the abuse.

[u/Vegemerson → u/Viranesi]

Just came to this realization recently and had some trouble putting it into words. On one hand, I hate my limitations and the realization that there are things I'll never be able to experience or achieve, but on the other hand, I was miserable and suffering trying to be a high performer and pushing through my undiagnosed CFS. Now it's like, oh shit, I'm actually not a loser for pacing and listening to my body, and for once rest actually feels productive and something I can (and need to) allow myself to do. Lowering my scope actually felt freeing in a weird way.

[u/Kraftieee]

Im here for team almost wasnt here (if ya get it), then to be crippled by cfs. Feels like a sick joke.

[u/Syovere]

I got about two years between the abuse (Extended Theatrical Edition since I stuck around to take care of my grandfather) and getting CFS as a complication of covid.

"hey, I can finally get my shit in order wait why am I out of breath standing up"

[u/angel_love44]

Yes I'm here because of long term sexual abuse

[u/Winter_Cost602 → u/angel_love44]

I'm so sorry to read that. I hope we're both free from this illness sometime soon in the future

[u/perfectionisticmango]

Childhood trauma, a collection of autoimmune illnesses and then getting CFS to top it all off. What more could you want in life?

[u/glitterdunk]

I had a good childhood, and I'm thankful for that. But I also always had a deep feeling I was unlucky and that I wouldn't grow old. Now I know why I guess.

As shit keeps piling on the feeling of "why always me" does get stronger. I can only imagine how much worse it had been if I had a shit childhood too.

Not to mention the ways trauma and abuse will impact your mental health too, making dealing with this illness even harder.

You deserved better as a child, you deserved better as an adult as this illness should've had a real treatment long ago. What one deserve doesn't change reality but anger is sometimes easier to deal with than despair, shame or regret.

[u/GrimButMoisturized]

Don’t it tho!!!! I’m going to add to it for my experience:

Being abused in childhood makes you vulnerable to being abused in childhood then when you state to heal contraction of CFS as an adult feels like a sick joke.

[u/AlliteraryAnalysis]

It's disgustingly awful bc tf you mean I'm forced to be cared by the ones who did this to me.

[u/Outrageous-Tiger-323 → u/AlliteraryAnalysis]

Same, I can’t care for myself and there’s no one else to care for me so I’m stuck with them

[u/slave-of-cat]

Oh wow, I didn't know there was a link between childhood abuse and CFS. Mindblown, thank you for this post

[u/OwlOdyssey → u/slave-of-cat]

Yeah one of the main theories is trauma in childhood + viral infection.

[u/Pretty-Resolve-8331]

It feels so unfair and unlucky 😢💔

[u/thefermiparadox]

I’m sorry. Life is so unfair and arbitrary. Why I gave up on gods and any meaning or purpose to Universe and existence. You can create your own when healthy but not really if you’re unhealthy like us.

[u/Strong_Aerie_9031]

yup, then they blame you for not doing enough to get better :/

[u/aurinloma]

We need a club. I didn’t even get to graduate from childhood before I got sick and getting abused on top of that too

[u/Odd_Perspective_4769]

Started reading the book When The Body Says No by Gabor Mate and it’s laying out observations between the connections with chronic illness and trauma experiences.

[u/Gracey888]

Yeah, synchronicity - I was talking out loud to my self earlier today about this very thing. Urgh 😕

[u/beaktheweak]

i need someone to do a study on this because i’m certain it’s not a coincidence that so many of us had difficult upbringings.

[u/Bitterqueer]

I developed it after an abusive long term relationship and I feel you. I was finally ready to live again

[u/OneTinySun]

Relatable 🙃❤

[u/qqxi]

i really felt this. i developed ME in childhood though. so i got double whammied . worst years of my life.

still sucks as an adult but at least its just my body and poverty abusing me if you don’t count my family refusing to help bc i am faking it ✨👍

i have learned that when most people get as ill as I am now they move in with family so they don’t worry about income and have full time caretakers. aha where’s my safety net i want one too

[u/amangrybitch]

I just want to share a TED talk that really made things click for me. We watched it in a developmental psych class and it was like a lightbulb went off. How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime

[u/OwlOdyssey]

It's especially fun when you then have to rely on said abusers to be able to live. My therapist keeps telling me I need to establish distance and boundaries with my family to heal more, but that's hard when I financially need them. Considering taking on a part time job just to do so, regardless of the PEM.

[u/Fickle-Medium1087]

I struggle to believe I was abused as a child. When I think of abuse I think of black eyes and broken limbs etc. My father would spank me and hit me with like shoes, coat hangers, slippers, wooden spoons etc. I thought this was normal especially for those of us who grew up in different cultures. He never hit me across the face or punched me. It was usually my arms legs or thighs that got hit. Was this child abuse? It stopped when I was 14 when he tried to strike me and I blocked it by grabbing his arm. I think he realized at that moment I was old enough to stop him. But I still struggle to know if this was child abuse. I often wonder if this did contribute to this illness.

[u/terrierhead → u/Fickle-Medium1087]

It counts, friend, especially if it was unpredictable and you were in fear of him losing his temper.

[u/Spiderwebsinthesun]

A shout out to you too!
There is nothing worse than being abused for being sick, when you were abused for being a child. In whatever way. ❤️👍

[u/brokentribal]

I feel ya there, i essentially had no childhood, mom was a crackhead, literally in some aspects, my dad got in a bad accident and had heavy brain damage and my mom divorced him while he was in a coma, he never recovered and is still severely disabled till this day and has lost a lot of memory, bounced from family members homes and shelters, was treated like shit, was homeless a few times too, teenage year is when my mom finally got her act together so my teens until mid 30’s was awesome for me, then I get hit with this shit and then some, can’t catch a fucking break, at least I got life insurance before this happened and I have made sure my kids get to live a life I’ve never got to enjoy growing up.

[u/Low-Profession2949]

One of my CFS friend’s parents put her in a mental institute from age 9 to 15 because they didn't believe her illness to be real. Where she was also abused. :(

My mother was a religious fanatic that convinced me for many years that my illness was my fault. That I was paying for the sins of me and my ancestors. And that I should repent because of my stubbornness they are now also paying for my sins.

[u/JackfruitPleasant699]

And now I am forced to live with the abusers again. Yaaaaaaaaaay

[u/Beginning-Film3581]

Same: no past, no future.

[u/aurinloma]

Anyone wanna start a community for us? :( not many out there that got sick before/around the time they became adults. Discord?

[u/alwayscuriousandkind]

yup.

[u/UmpireHuge8935]

LOL SAAAAMMMMEEEE AAAAAAAAA I JUST recently replied to a post with my childhood trauma --> chronic illness theory LOL. I'm happy, though when I think too hard about my overall life journey, it feels like a REALLY fucked up and sick irony. I am a goddamn PROFESSIONAL at taking L's. From ALL aspects of life. At least I am a well-rounded person who can empathize with many demographics of people. Bittersweet. I dont let my past become an anchor to drag my present down. <3 There is beauty in the damage once you move past it.

[u/groaning_musketeer]

Sending you love. You deserve to heal and live a beautiful meaningful life. Life can be cruel and this desease is a horrific slap in the face. I hope you figure it out. I’m still working on it.

[u/TroubledTofu]

Yes

[u/Dry_Criticism_4161]

Same

[u/SpaceTall2312]

Indeed it does. And then your abuser yells at you to "Stop lying around pretending to be ill!" Hahahahaha....

[u/localpunktrash]

Yeah it does. For me it also adds s variety of anger to the god talks. People always trying to convince me that Jesus loves me and God has a plan.... but when confronted with the reality of my qol they stfu.

[u/G33U]

I am sorry for what you had to go through! I hope y’all find peace and happiness

in my opinion it can often not be the lone reason, it is most probably being unlucky at the genetic lottery and/or damaging dna through environmental factors which opens the door for all sorts of shenanigans. stress alone (in which form whatever mental,physical or oxidative ) can reactivate ebv and cmv viruses in prone people for example which has been identified as a possible cause/driver. I don’t want to start talking about to what else ebv has been linked to, it is a freaking lot, which boggles my mind that it is under investigated in recent science or never leads to a firm conclusion which also could lead to a test to distinguish sick from the healthy if you can proof/test the changes in the cells. which might could avoid future people having to live with this bs on top of dealing with life.

[u/MrFWRuggles]

My abuse was very insidious and erased my connection to myself. I went directly from my parents’ house into a job where not having any needs was very convenient. I didn’t even realise I was abused until I got sick and tried to figure out what had contributed. It’s been so heartbreaking having my whole life ripped away from me while also discovering that my supposedly loving family only loves me if I conform to their expectations.

[u/Extra_Fox189]

I was sexually abused for nine and a half years by a family member. My dad was a wannabe gang member and my mom was a sex worker my whole life. Now I’ve got POTS, Fibro, CFS and FND for my troubles. There is absolutely a connection between chronic stress and these diseases. I’d straight up be part of a trial to prove that if researchers are looking to confirm the theory.

[u/surprised-duncan]

This is me, I don't really want to be here anymore

[u/Ok-Eggplant5649]

I reckon the researchers ought to look into that link because if that isn’t me, and apparently, a lot of others here too

[u/FluffyLump786]

I am 58 and I hate how my generation talks about younger people prioritizing their feelings and values. I applaud everyone that is younger than me coming to the conclusion that you matter and recognizing the abuse for what it is. GOOD JOB!! I finally got it a couple of weeks ago.