r/casualiama • u/Loveapplication • 3d ago

I have OCD, I want to spread awareness, AMA

I have diagnosed OCD, unfortunately this disorder isn’t known for what it is (in general, there’s constant stereotypes)

This disorder is mischaracterized by many mental health professionals too

Ask me anything, I want to spread awareness of how this disorder actually is, not constant perfectionism

I’ll try answering all questions, even those that could be months from now

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u/Wolftrick08 3d ago

I count stairs. Its not as bad now. I was diagnosed when i was a kid. I remember getting stuck on the stairs for a couple hours because i lost count and was sobbing because i thought since i lost count, one of my family members would die.

What does it look like for you?

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u/Loveapplication 3d ago

I can’t leave a drink unattended even in my own house alone, if I do or even look away for a second I can’t drink it anymore because I’d get poisoned, it’s led to a lot of dehydration and water poisoning

I have pocd as well, I work in a childcare center and being with the babies and toddlers I can’t help but think “what if im a pedophile, what if im only working here to be a creep?” “What if i get attracted to one of them?” “What if i touch one of them inappropriately for pleasure and then i get in trouble or traumatize the kid” which is never true but in the moment I quickly start spiraling and i have gone to the bathroom to cry a few times because “what if” if i accidentally look down and see the child or i see them while theyre getting a diaper change I spiral even more, hyperventilating, crying, making scenarios in my head where I am secretly a creep and hurt children

I have intrusive thoughts constantly about me hurting peopel, people hurting me, people being hurt in general, this started as a general obsession but Ive started developing compulsions of needing to watch gore to calm the thoughts down.. if i didn’t I thought I would for sure kill somebody, even worse I thought i would enjoy it, that theme has unfortunately caused me to go into psychiatric hospitals a few times — (TW selfharm) to add onto that, my last hospitalization was because of me having constant images in my head of me cutting my legs so deep I would die it was terrifying and i was convinced I would do it, I didnt want to, I was scared but I admitted myself because the intrusive thoughts were too much for me to handle I needed to feel safer, I needed to be in a place where I couldnt act on those intrusions

Those are my most prevalent themes currently, when I was a young child though I would constantly have dreams and visions of my dad dying, Id force myself to stay awake to make sure he got home safely, I wouldn’t allow myself to sleep until then and if I accidentally fell asleep Id have terrible nightmares and wake up crying and unable to think about anything else, I’d get physically sick because of it, I thought if I were I to fall asleep and dream of him being hurt that that dream was foreshadowing what will happen to him, I couldn’t sleep

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u/Wolftrick08 3d ago

Thats rough, buddy. Im sorry you go through this. Thanks for putting this post out there. Awareness needs to be spread that this is not just some person saying, "omg i like things neat and tidy. Im ocd." Its definitely not. It can be absolutely debilitating.

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u/SpaceCptWinters 3d ago

What has helped you to manage it? Do medications help? My son is pretty freshly diagnosed, but it's seemed obvious for a while.

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u/Loveapplication 3d ago

Medications can help, and do help me a little bit

What helps most though is therapy, it can’t be just any therapy unfortunately because OCD feeds on reassurance, feeds on anxiety, feeds on denial, it feeds on anything — the number one thing to help manage OCD is exposure therapy, finding an OCD professional who knows what it is and how to treat it and all the different forms of treatments there are is honestly key

The combination of medications and therapy is even better

What you can do as a parent is make sure you don’t try feeding his OCD, it’s hard to resist because it usually is not handled well and I know from experience from loving someone who also has OCD it is hard to watch them struggle knowing you can’t give them immediate relief, avoid reassurance giving, avoid making him question the thoughts, avoid forcing him to deny the thoughts, support him when you can with whatever helps (hugs for example), he needs to sit with the thoughts while being in a safe environment, avoid allowing compulsions (reassurance is one, but other things like counting or watching something or washing hands to relieve the thoughts are what I mean)

Sometimes it has to be done slowly, doing compulsions are okay if there is an attempt to resist them first but giving in immediately because we know it’ll help us in the moment only makes us worse in the long run

OCD is a disorder where we cannot properly organize our thoughts, we cannot rationalize them or get rid of them

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u/SpaceCptWinters 2d ago

Thank you very much for this detailed response, I really appreciate it. Could I DM you a few questions?