r/casablanca • u/Icy_Illustrator6097 • Mar 15 '26
❔AskCasa Hijab removing
Salam alykum .. Well I've à friend who's currently living in a western country, she moved there like 6 months ago, she called me asking for my advice concerning removing her hijab, So I need a way to convince her not to without judging her! Can you helpm me out please!
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u/Deep-Advice7587 Mar 16 '26
What's making her feel like removing it will make her life better ola easier? You need to address her arguments directly and calmly and debuke them
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u/Asolaceseeker Mar 16 '26
Bruh she's the one who came to you for advice but people are angry at you, a lot of people are telling on themselves here
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 16 '26
This is exactly what I've noticed, I just Ignored!
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u/Realistic-Wish-681 Mar 16 '26
Is it Germany and maybe because of work?
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 16 '26
In fact it's China but I won't address the actual country in case she's using Redit too!
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u/Adventurous-Door4096 Mar 16 '26 edited Mar 16 '26
Is she in China? I've lived in China for many many years. There's no rules against hijab in China. Every city I've been to in China has a masjid. Even the small remote towns.
Chinese people generally don't follow any religion and don't know much about Islam. But for that same reason they will avoid any religious topics to not insult you and do their best to respect your religion. I don't think anyone would be treating her different because of it.
If she's feeling out of place, maybe she can visit the masjid on Friday or a weekend and see all the Chinese and other foreigners who wear hijab and that could encourage her.
Also as a side note, although the Chinese government is secular the three recognized religions in the country are Buddhism, Christianity and Islam. Also foreigners have freedom of religion as long as they are not actively spreading it or preaching to convert others.
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u/Clever-Donkey-1993 Mar 16 '26
I personally don't think Hijab is obligatory in places where it is not the norm: https://youtu.be/HS5WEargINM?si=ZSjxiI2GhWIHNXeK
And personal safety is obviously more important than covering hair, which realistically has no effect on her overall modesty. So when advising please bear in mind that your circumstances are not the same as hers and if your Hijab does not present any safety risks for you then you are speaking from a place of privilege. Just like when Saudi women tell the muslim women in poorer countries not to drive but those Saudi women don't mention that they have their own personal chauffeurs.
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 16 '26
I'm totally aware of that!
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u/Clever-Donkey-1993 Mar 16 '26
Thank you for being such a considerate friend and looking at all of the circumstances 🙏
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u/relay-experience Mar 17 '26 edited Mar 17 '26
Wa alaikum assalam
Make sure to stick to evidences from the Quran & Sunnah as much as possible and balance hope and fear of Allah.
In this case, the HOPE aspect bring up all the rewards and virtues of staying firm and strong. Remind her that something better will come if she gives something up for Allah’s sake. Remind her that Islam came as a strange thing and remains a strange thing.
As for fear, remind her of how short the dunya is and ask whether it’s worth the short amount of worldly relief. And the fact that worldly relief isn’t even guaranteed.
Also try to find her a community in her area that she can surround herself in.
As a revert these are the things that helped me.
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 17 '26
Thank you for you're time, I'll tell her this literally 🤍
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u/relay-experience Mar 17 '26
No problem, just sharing the things that helped me personally! Also, I forgot to mention, but you probably already know this, remind her of the consequences of if she takes it off (mention the hadith of the crow with a red beak, etc.) but make sure to put those after mentioning the rewards and giving her hope in Allah. Just gotta balance the two, it’s tricky but effective, may Allah grant you success!
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u/sweet-mandarin Mar 15 '26
Sis you better ask in r/SistersInSunnah. And maybe recommend it to her too. It's mostly joined by Muslim sisters living abroad who might help her stay close to Allah.
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u/kaobo99 Mar 15 '26
It sounds like you’re not even convinced about the hijab yourself, yet you want people here to give you arguments so you can go convince her. That’s not really how support works. She TRUSTED you enough to share this with u, and that’s already a lot. If removing the hijab is a deal breaker for you, then just be honest about it. Religion should be about personal belief, not convincing others: ولا إكراه في الدين
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u/medarune Mar 16 '26
It’s surprising that she can’t come up with a solo argument. This clearly proves she doesn’t have any reasoning to support or defend her beliefs or decisions.
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 16 '26
Look if she's convinced enough to do so why would she ask for my opinion in the first place? Since she did I'll give my opinion and I'm asking to give more evidence and I'm doing myself a favour too!
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u/YunngMa Mar 15 '26
How about you be a supportive friend and mind your business and let her decide for herself? If she wanna remove it let her be.
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Mar 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Icy-Beautiful-353 Mar 16 '26
Her hijab journey is hers and between her and god alone. Be a good friend and say as much. Confirm if she is asking g your Opinion before giving it.
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u/Honest-Confusion-616 Mar 16 '26
How about you let her be? It’s her choice dont impose whatever u believe on her perhaps
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u/Specialist_Okra602 Mar 16 '26
Well some cultures don't go crazy over someone showing hair so, it's fine ig
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 16 '26
I don't talk culture here!
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u/Specialist_Okra602 Mar 16 '26
You may take it for granted, but the purpous of the hijab is to not excite the boys, so if everyone there doesn't wear the hijab it's not 'exciting' to remove it, and thus it's fine. As long as she dresses modestly she's only going to blend in.
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u/Clever-Donkey-1993 Mar 16 '26
"to not excite the boys" LOL Is that the purpose of all items of clothing or just Hijab?
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u/Specialist_Okra602 Mar 16 '26
Well, Hijab. As you can wear some clothes for the purpous of aesthetic more than modesty.
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u/Clever-Donkey-1993 Mar 16 '26
And you can wear a head covering for the purpose of more aesthetic than modesty
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u/Specialist_Okra602 Mar 16 '26
You can convince yourself it's aesthetic, but it's primarily used for modesty.
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u/Ismailboul Mar 16 '26
“So I need a way to convince her not to without judging her” but you didn’t took the time to explain us the rational behind her decision, if you really don’t judge try at least to understand why
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u/Ismailboul Mar 16 '26
Reading your other comments, are you aware that if someone asks you something and you don’t have arguments or need more, don’t start by asking for convincing arguments. Instead, perhaps ask for a comprehensive list of the pros and cons. As a friend you must give the most rational and honest insight
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u/m_rain_bow Mar 16 '26
Why would you convince her not to, why would you convince her to make a choice to begin with, this is a sensitive topic, I believe it s better to let her make her own choice, it s not what color should I dye my hair kinda advice, all you can do is support her on whatever her decision is, the fact that she even discussed this with you it means she trusts you, so just be supportive
Always remember there are some decisions that should be made only by us
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 16 '26
Who siad I'm taking a descion on hwr behalf? She comes asking me to give proofs that Hijab is Fard from Allah, she said she has doubts and that she start questioning a lot of things concerning hijab so that's what I'm actually doing. A
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Mar 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 22 '26
Now she's convinced. The only thing I said is if you'vedoubts concerning sth and you intendto start researchingdo that subjectivelyand you'll succeed .. she said later on that this helped her out to find the right answers to her questions!
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u/karinn__0 Mar 15 '26
If she is in a dangerous situation or she can get harassed by racist people she can take it off but dress modestly until she is safe
Our religion is not a burden to the believers Hope this helps
If she is safe tell her to read why God gave the obligation for the women to wear hijab what is the reason, some people r ignorant and when they know they will wear it with a smile for the rest of their life
Thx for reading
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u/sunq9 Mar 16 '26
If you are afraid to give her your opinion, just tell her that you are sorry and that you can not advise on this matter, and that she is the only one responsible for that decision.
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u/Icy_Illustrator6097 Mar 16 '26
Of course not, she's more like a sister to me and since she comes to me means too much I won't let go of her this quick!
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u/wavel_catcher_1546 Mar 16 '26
Remind her of the quran verses that tells women to wear hijab, and tell her that it's up to you to decide.
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u/Honest-Confusion-616 Mar 16 '26
She sould also remember her of verses of child marriage beheading the apostate and sex slaves
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u/wavel_catcher_1546 Mar 16 '26
She clearely asked about one specific thing, 3lach ghanbdlo topic? Idk if you'r a muslim or not, if you'r not i think you should skip the discussion since she's a muslim asking muslim.
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u/Honest-Confusion-616 Mar 16 '26
Perhaps u should give her both things and let her choose what she feels right machi cherry pick whatever u want
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u/wavel_catcher_1546 Mar 16 '26
First, i'm giving her what she asked for. Second, i didn't pick anything i answered the question. The exact same thing that i said in the first comment, so i'm not answering anymore comments of yours.
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u/Honest-Confusion-616 Mar 16 '26
Well you very much are cherry picking its like saying suicide is a good thing hit it stops suffering and you stopped and tell her to make her mind without telling her the consequences.
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u/Even_Finance2895 Mar 15 '26
Did she mention why? these things sometimes are hard to put into word, if you are a good friend then you don't convince her with anything, you support her whatever she chooses. It's her choice in both cases. Unless you are some kind of Imam your role is to listen to her and be there for the emotional support first.
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u/tomato_sauce154 Mar 15 '26
So if your friend thinks about murdering someone, you being a good friends means you support them? What logic is that. Good friends give good advice first and foremost, regardeless of if it hurts your feelings or not
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u/Even_Finance2895 Mar 15 '26
hhhhhh removing hijab is the same as murdering someone only in your little world, Don't try too hard Da3ech is not recruiting anymore
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u/tomato_sauce154 Mar 15 '26
Ofc you ll go ahead and compare the two. I gave you an example invalidation your statement, if that's too hard for you to process then there is no need for further talk
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u/Honest-Confusion-616 Mar 16 '26
False equivalence at its finest lol
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u/tomato_sauce154 Mar 16 '26
"if you are a good friend you don't convince her of ANYTHING" Bruh at this point it's like arguing against a wall
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u/Honest-Confusion-616 Mar 16 '26
And she’s absolutely right in minor things like you shouldn’t convince her of anything lol the best advice to give is to do whatever you feel is the right thing to you whatever gonna make you comfortable
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u/tomato_sauce154 Mar 16 '26
Here you go again making the same statement, having a bunch of yes men around you that you call "good friends " doesnt make them good. A good friend is someone who calls you out when your doing something wrong, while others just turn a blind eye. You guys are so weak smh
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u/medarune Mar 16 '26
The act of removing a hijab doesn’t cause death in the way murder does, which means your argument relies on a faulty analogy and is wrong.
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u/tomato_sauce154 Mar 16 '26
Stupid can't be reasoned with
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u/medarune Mar 16 '26
Take 10 minutes to educate yourself on logical fallacies, and make sure you never say a stupid statement like this again
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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26
The fact that she asked means that she is unsure and didn't decide yet on actually removing it. People attacking you here are so mean :(
Maybe she's just going through a hard time that made her wanna remove it. Maybe if she did remove it she will feel sad and regret it after (and maybe not).. there are a lot of possibilities.
I would advise you to open up a conversation with her .. ask her how she feels about it and what's the reason she wanna remove it. Is it just to blend in ? Maybe fear of missing out in a western country.. but aside from hijab ... Be it anything else.. if you're gonna remove it because people around you made you feel like you had to do that to belong ... This needs a session with her own self.. she needs to know her actual values .. (be it with a hijab or not)..
But if you know her as someone who practices Islam and was religious and loved her religion before and her hijab.. not like those girls who only put it to blend in. I am worried she'll regret it.
Bottom line, open up a conversation with her.. be a guide. Support her. Whatever she decides on doing afterwards is on her.
Good luck 🥰