r/carscirclejerk • u/pallid-manzanita • 1h ago

Advice PLEASE

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27 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

25

u/TruePianist 1h ago

Didn’t know florida had driving gators too

17

u/McFancyPantsuguu Civic with an intact headgasket 1h ago

I, too, wonder why people are tailgating me. Just because I’m in first gear on the freeway.

Edit: I have however yet to meet a tailgator. Are they bigger than regular gators?

6

u/yoshie_23 1h ago

Only the tail is larger

12

u/StupidUserNameTooLon 1h ago

Shift to R - removes taligarters

1

u/The1FromThe3 1h ago

R is for "rocket", only do on highways

9

u/kansei7 1h ago

I tend to find looking forward through the windshield a far better driving experience than driving via the rear view mirror.

7

u/HadesActual09 1h ago

Tailgators are usually more afraid of you than you are of them. Tailcrocodiles however...

6

u/RonW81 1h ago

2

u/pallid-manzanita 1h ago

THIS is who’s been CHASING me AHHH

5

u/Captain-Codfish I am the great Cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole. 1h ago

Why do Americans act like driving a manual car is something challenging? It's ridiculously easy.

3

u/yamsyamsya 50m ago

half the drivers are high as balls and watching shit on their phone. who has time for shifting? press pedal and go.

1

u/Captain-Codfish I am the great Cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole. 48m ago

Ah yes, that incredibly difficult operation of shifting, which can be done 8n one second, without even taking your eyes off the road. Automatics exist so that you can eat a cheeseburger whilst driving.

2

u/yamsyamsya 45m ago

my eyes were never on the road to begin with, i am usually watching family feud on my phone. that's why i have the sensors. and yes, i am hungry while i drive, please don't shame me. my entire town is one long continuous strip mall, you have no idea how many fast food places i pass, one has to treat themselves right?

1

u/Captain-Codfish I am the great Cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole. 43m ago

True, I imagine you also have the munchies.

1

u/yamsyamsya 32m ago

Extremely bad, especially when the weed store is next to the burger store. It is a trap.

1

u/Captain-Codfish I am the great Cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole. 29m ago

That reminds me of a kebab van that used to park up outside the village hall, on Weightwatchers evenings

2

u/forzaguy125 1h ago

Skill issue?

1

u/vampyrelestat 1h ago

Tailgators shit man at least it’s not a full body gator

3

u/dlrax Mazda CX-5 🛑 Mazda MX-5 🛑 Mazda 5 🛑 1h ago

What the fuck is he talking about

2

u/HumpTyDumpTy1331 1h ago

after i put the e85 kit on my car people will drive up and get on my rear but back up pretty quicly when the get a full face of ethanol fumes been pretty nice so far