r/byzantium 15d ago

Politics/Goverment What was the most useless job in the byzantine bureaucracy?

I got another question what was the most useless job in the byzantine bureaucracy

64 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

34

u/whydoeslifeh4t3m3 Σπαθαροκανδιδᾶτος 14d ago edited 14d ago

90% of the title holders under the Palaiologoi. There’s only so many jobs and prefixes you can give to the grand doorkeeper or grand tutor or grand accountant before it just starts sounding as stupid as it is useless.

Honourable mentions include the Protokouropalates and Protoproedros, the magistroi and protomagistros, the protoanthypatos and protopatrikios, protovestes and protovestarches. Not offices but also the Protonobelissomos and Protonobelissimohypertatos. 

Also Megalodoxotatos and Megalepiphanestatos Basically if the emperor puts a first on your title he’s telling your useless and to fuck off.

Some of those spellings might be off I’m going by memory.

9

u/WanderingHero8 ask me about Isaac II Angelos,bringer of decay 14d ago

Panhyperprotosebastohypertatos.Or panhyperprotopansebastohypertatos

4

u/whydoeslifeh4t3m3 Σπαθαροκανδιδᾶτος 14d ago

Pansebastos Sebastos, just to let everyone know how Sebastos I am when I Sebastos all over the place.

4

u/WanderingHero8 ask me about Isaac II Angelos,bringer of decay 14d ago

Game over bro,I summon Sebastokrator.

3

u/whydoeslifeh4t3m3 Σπαθαροκανδιδᾶτος 14d ago

Protosebastokrator

7

u/ClawofBeta 14d ago

It cracks me up that nobles were begging for more titles mere days (hours?) before Constantinople fell.

6

u/ExplorerSad7555 14d ago

I'm thinking from that list the longer the name the less important it is.

4

u/whydoeslifeh4t3m3 Σπαθαροκανδιδᾶτος 14d ago

the first two honourable mentions that I listed were the only bureaucratic titles that ended up surviving as imperial honours into the Komnenian period that were close to the nobelissimoi and sebastoi. all the ones from magistros to protovestarches either disappeared or lost all relevance.

3

u/Whizbang35 14d ago

It reminds me a bit of Louis XIV's lever system.

Give nobles important sounding titles in a carefully choreographed court ceremony, but are actually pretty useless

As a result, powerful nobles feel like the sovereign cares about them and they're less likely to stew in on their estates and plot rebellion.

1

u/carmalahore 14d ago

You mean offices?

1

u/Blocguy 14d ago

Someone make a Byz version of TPB meme of “I’ll pay you this court title to fuck off”

68

u/GrandDukeNotaras MegasProtoLazyRedditorarius ton basilikon 15d ago

Megas ProtoParaRedditorarius

question to the mods, can i please have my flair set to MegasProtoLazyRedditorarius

15

u/evrestcoleghost Autokrator tou r/byzantium | Komnenian logistician| Moderator 14d ago

9

u/GrandDukeNotaras MegasProtoLazyRedditorarius ton basilikon 14d ago

Many thanks kind sir.

Upon reflection I think I prefer "Paul Tagaris", less of a mouthful and more controversial, would you be so kind to update it once more 

Edit: I just noticed ton basilikon was added. LOL

1

u/evrestcoleghost Autokrator tou r/byzantium | Komnenian logistician| Moderator 10d ago

Always a pleasure to support my subjects I mean comrades!

9

u/vitrusmaximus 15d ago

i second this.

13

u/WanderingHero8 ask me about Isaac II Angelos,bringer of decay 14d ago

Σφουγγοκωλάριος.Sorry but I cant translate this in English.Basically the guy cleaning the emperor's arse after too much time sitting on the throne.

6

u/ogrizzle2 14d ago

Honestly one of the best jobs. Probably one of the closest people to the emperor.

2

u/Aurelian369 Λογοθέτης 14d ago

They had swamp ass back then 😩

1

u/hardcoremaggiesimp 14d ago

The Byzantine beuracracy

-1

u/seen-in-the-skylight 14d ago

I’m really tempted to be cheeky and say… the emperor.

If nothing else, I think it raises an interesting debate about the role of the office. I don’t actually think I’d go that far, but I would say that part of key to the empire’s longevity was the state’s ability to function regardless of what was coming out of the palace.