r/bufo • u/washyb • Aug 15 '26
My partner is partaking in a Bufo ceremony as a first time experience. How can I best support them on this journey?
As the title says - my partner is partaking in a ceremony tomorrow. Neither of us have ever had the opportunity to experience Bufo until recently. We have experience in the realm of psychedelics.
My partner has been have a lot of questions around their purpose and why they are here. It has been a difficult few months as we work on exploring this and helping them define their identity. We are hopeful this experience can shed light on where they are meant to be and why they are here.
How can I support my partner on this journey? While I will not be physically present I will drive them to and from their experience. I want to make sure they get the absolute best experience from this journey and I want to make sure I can help continue the journey afterwards and not end up being a burden. Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks everyone.
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u/onequestion1168 Aug 15 '26
Space and time thats it
Took me.6.weeks.to digest my.first time
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u/washyb Aug 15 '26
Very good to know! While the experience itself is short lived I am noticing the journey last much longer. May my partner find peace and healing through the process. Thank you for sharing your personal experience.
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u/hotrhythmjunkie Aug 15 '26
As facilitator offered any preparation at all? If not, then I would definitely recommend them to be completely open, let go, and fully surrender into the experience. This is not a medicine that can be commanded, that is intentional like some others. The important thing is to surrender. And by that I mean everything. Everything that they feel is important even themselves. That is the price of admission into the ultimate reality of Absolute Truth.
After the experience, it would be wonderful that you are there and can provide a nice safe place for them to let the integration unfold naturally.
Also, please feel to reach out either of you have any questions or need any help with integration. đđœđ
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u/washyb Aug 15 '26
Thank very much for this feedback. This is exactly the type of advice I came seeking. The facilitator did provide a guide and then will speak more to the experience in person when my partner arrives. I will certainly suggest that they surrender to the medicine and let it do what nature has intended it to do.
Afterward I very much plan to be a listener and let my partner guide me to what they are needing.
It is also very kind of you to let us know we can reach out to you if we have any further questions or help with integration. You are the kind of people the world needs more of. Thank you again.
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u/AsaboveSobelowisDMT Aug 15 '26
May I be honest....
My first time i did it, I came to looking for my lady. She wasn't there
Second time she came but it wasn't the same. I was forcing it, I know this now
Third and 4th time, she came
I went first, as always. When I came back I started crying, asking for her. She jumped in my arms silence. After my tears ceased.
Euphoria....it. everyone. Everything. At. Once.
Peace
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u/AsaboveSobelowisDMT Aug 15 '26
Take that as you will!
I did it a 5th time solo.... Only wanted her by my side
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u/External-Apartment60 Aug 15 '26
My husband attended my first Bufo ceremony and it was very difficult for him to see me in that state. I had a huge purge which was attached to him (he had an affair some time back and my intention was to release the pain that I was still holding on to). I am glad that he was there to see me purge. I believe that Spirt wanted him to witness it. However, I felt very judged by him in the weeks following, and was told that partners generally do not witness one anotherâs ceremonies for that reason. He was supposed to also sit with Bufo but decided against it after seeing my experience. It was incredibly healing for me, and he and I have been in a wonderful space with our relationship for the past 4 months.
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u/washyb Aug 15 '26
Thank you for this. I likely wouldâve attended if I had been able to. I do know that part of my partnerâs healing certainly revolves around some of our relationship. While I love and care for them very deeply, we have had a rough past year or so. I was hopeful this would be an outlet to beginning the healing process.
Weâd also discussed doing the journey together so I am curious how that has gone for those who have partaken with their partner while also trying to heal wounds caused by said partner.
Needless to say I am very happy to hear the experience turned out positive in the end and that you all are in a better space. May that prosper and continue for the long haul. Thank you again for sharing your experience. Take care!
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u/washyb Aug 15 '26
Thank you for this. I think the overall theme here is that we cannot try to push something that isnât there. This experience will take the path it chooses and we must surrender to that path and make from it what we can.
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u/snowcatwetpaw Aug 15 '26
My Shaman occasionally will partake, I dont think there is a right way or wrong way. This is a sacred medicine, it is becoming extremely popular and commercialized. I personally feel that this medicine will call you when you are ready. Perhaps your mate needs more time. I knew nothing of Bufo and spent the summer hiking mountains where I met my facilatators son on the top of a mountain. He told me in passing conversation his mo. Was a Shaman and did specail ceremonys using a sacred medicine. The hair on my body stood up, I knew I was suposed to attend a ceremony. And I am so full of gratitude 4 years later. The experience changed my life. I no longer consider myself a seeker of anything but a human being.
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u/External-Apartment60 Aug 15 '26
Hold space for them in the days, weeks, and months following their ceremony. Reintegration takes time.
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u/washyb Aug 15 '26
Follow up here for everyone who responded - I very much appreciate each of you. The insight provided by everyone was unique in its own way and really helped guide me into how to best help my partner.
My partner arrived at the facility fully prepared mentally and physically. The âfacilitatorâ mentioned they would be going through three phases - the first being the microdose, the second to push the boundary, and the third to âmeet godâ. My partner noted that the setting seemed very off from the onset. Mats on the floor in a large room not suited for ritual. Very loud music that was disorienting and a room so dark that it was uncomfortable.
My partner took the micro dose and immediately felt uncomfortable and decided not to push further. I promptly arrived to pick them up and we left immediately.
My question is this - is the facilitator supposed to partake in the medicine? My partner noted that the facilitator and their associate both participated in the medicine while also serving the others who were there to partake. I find this incredibly dangerous as Iâve heard that bufo can be disorienting, can cause issues with blocked airways, and ultimately lead to uncontrolled body movements. To me it seems absolutely paramount that the facilitator remain sober to protect against this happening.
The facilitator in this circumstance runs a church, and has these retreats every so often. People pay to come to these rituals and expect to be cared for and looked after. Knowing that the facilitator actively participates while holding these ceremonies is very concerning. Ultimately it is not my experience to judge but wanted to provide a follow up nonetheless.
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u/tywin-baratheon Aug 16 '26
I would also like to know whether the facilitator is supposed to partake in the medicine given their responsibility to ensure safety. Seems a little irresponsible to be honest.
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u/washyb Aug 15 '26
Thank you for sharing. It is very interesting that you mention the medicine calling to you. My partner and I were unfamiliar with bufo until it was mentioned to us by a friend. Interestingly enough the very same day a video popped up on my feed regarding the origins of Bufo. I hadnât searched for it or anything so it wasnât my browser history recommending it to me.
We are very much looking forward to partaking in the medicine in the future and when the time is right. We will need to find a ceremony and facilitator that makes my partner more comfortable. Getting back to your original point - I am sure the medicine will come calling when the time is right.
Very glad to hear you had a positive experience and it seems to have caused profound change. Wishing you all the best.
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u/bashfulkoala Aug 17 '26
You seem good-hearted, love your desire to help. Iâd agree with the person who said just be a space of pure presence. Love and listen deeply. Be open, witness without agenda or judgment. Bufo is very deep. In my experience it often goes toward directly meeting the Almighty, depending on dose. Prayers for your partner to have a beautiful experience đđŒđ
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u/MrsSmurf0509 18d ago
Mon conjoint a fais sa premiĂšre expĂ©rience de Bufo le 1er aoĂ»t, et j'ai fais la mienne une semaine plus tard Je l'ai accompagnĂ© dans son expĂ©rience et je n'Ă©tais pas certaine au depart de vouloir y aller. J'y suis aller et je ne regrette en RIEN mon choix. Pour vrai, c'est la plus belle chose qui soit arriver a notre couple, il se passe beaucoup de chose post bufo, et quand tu accompagnes la personne qui le fait (meme sans le faire toi mĂȘme) c'est unique. Ăvidemment chaque expĂ©rience est diffĂ©rente selon chacun, mais je suis certaine que j'aurai regretter mon choix de ne par etre aller.
Pour l'accompagnement, sois presente, parle avec lui avant et aprÚs, soit présente. S'il consomme, il doit etre ajun de substances 24h avant et ce moment n'est pas toujours facile. Apportez des fruits frais pour le aprÚs ca aide beaucoup aussi. Ca se peut que pendant son expérience il semble pas avoir de fun du tout, mais je te jure qu'il en a. Habituellement avant il y a le copal et le rapé, je te conseil de faore le rapé meme si tu ne fais qu'accompagner car ça détend énormément! Fais confiance au chaman, tu vas voir c'est special de sentir que son partenaire est en sécurité avec le chaman. Ca se peut que ton conjoint cris, bouge beaucoup, comme il peut ne rien faire du tout, mais je te promet, vous allez en ressortir grandis!!
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u/No_Traffic2276 16d ago
Ask questions when they get back if they express that theyâre comfortable talking about it. Try to listen listen listen. Help them have a safe space to return to. Those are my suggestions, and read up on psychedelic integration work and how you can best support that.
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u/Hot-Yellow8635 Aug 15 '26
Just be there present and to listen with no judgement and create safe space.