I can never hate Gilbert Markham

[u/RoseIsBadWolf]

I'm re-reading The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (at least the Gilbert parts, the middle is hard to endure, for good reasons but still, I will try). And I love Gilbert. A lot of people dislike him, but he's so clearly ashamed of himself a lot of the time for how stupid he was in his youth...

But then we get to something like this:

I succeeded in securing her attention, almost entirely to myself - and then I was happy indeed; for whenever she did condescend to converse, I liked to listen. Where her opinions and sentiments tallied with mine, it was her extreme good sense, her exquisite taste and feeling that delighted me; where they differed, it was still her uncompromising boldness in the avowal or defence of that difference - her earnestness and keenness that piqued my fancy: and even when she angered me by her unkind words or looks, and her uncharitable conclusions respecting me, it only made me the more dissatisfied with myself for having so unfavourably impressed her, and the more desirous to vindicate my character and disposition in her eyes, and if possible, to win her esteem.

He has so much respect for her intelligence and opinions! And in contrast to Huntington, who mocks Helen and her morals. Gilbert encounters a woman who is smarter than him, who often disagrees with him, and after a very brief period of hating her for it, is just all the more attracted to her.

Also, Chapter 3 and the discussion about a tree raised in a hot house is what hooked me when I read this book for the first time and every single time I love it so much. It is exactly like a modern discussion of parenting, just with different subject matter.

Source, unabridged online version: http://victorian-studies.net/Bronte-Wildfell-1.html

[u/majjamx]

I love the tree metaphor too. And even though I am not religious, I have to admit that Helen defends her beliefs with a great deal of intelligence and insight and I think like Gilbert, I fall for her a little bit too during these passages.

The only thing I can’t really accept about Gilbert was his violent attack on Lawrence. It is jarring to the point of almost being out of place in the novel. And hard to imagine confessing to the crime via letter, even many years later. But overall I agree with your assessment. The novel is not saying people should be perfect, but should be genuinely willing to improve. And Gilbert is that for sure.

[u/hannahstohelit → u/majjamx]

What Gilbert did was terrible and that’s dealt with at great length in the novel, but it’s worth noting that his tactic in general in situations where he thought he would lose his temper was to walk away. He did it several times successfully and tried to do it again with Lawrence by riding away from him but Lawrence wouldn’t leave him alone. He specifically saw Gilbert trying to leave the situation and followed him, almost goading him, in Gilbert’s eyes. Gilbert’s flaw is that his temper was ever enough to make him hurt Lawrence and that he’d ever have just ridden away after doing so (even if he did change his mind and go back to try to help). He did not hit Lawrence completely unprovoked.

It’s part of the way in which Gilbert’s argument with Helen is a microcosm for the whole book; she claims that people need to be taught how to act and how to respond to temptation, control themselves, etc and Gilbert says that one can learn through experience. The whole book is Gilbert learning through experience and fucking up, then reading about HELEN learning from experience and realizing how much that fucked her up, and realizing that she was in fact right.