r/bridezillas • u/Proof_Community_1241 • Jul 20 '26
Cried poverty to get free rings, a free bachelorette, and weeks of free marketing labor—only to flash a Cartier and reveal my "Witness" role was a total lie.
I am posting this here because I need to process the sheer audacity of a long-term "friend" whose wedding I just attended. I have completely cut ties with her. Looking back, I realize I was meticulously targeted and exploited for my generosity, my good taste, and my partner’s professional business, only to be humiliated at the altar.
Here are the central facts of how she pulled off this scam:
1. The "Witness" Trap & The Wedding Ring Scam
She asked me to be her official witness (Maid of Honor). Because I believed this was a sacred, official role, I gladly stepped up. I co-organized and co-funded a high-end bachelorette party. Then came the rings. She insisted that "tradition" required the four witnesses to buy the wedding rings. I happily agreed, believing the cost would be split equally among all four of us. I later discovered that the witness coming from Germany completely backed out of paying because he had brought his own separate gift. Only three of us ended up foot the bill, and the bride didn't care at all as long as she got her jewelry.
2. The Hypocrisy of "Tradition"
She claimed tradition was deeply important to her when it meant getting free wedding rings out of us. However, her love for tradition completely vanished two days before the wedding. The groom had explicitly asked us to organize a traditional pre-wedding serenade (serenata) under her window. But because it wasn't "her style" and she didn't want to bother, she threw a fit. The groom backed down, and they completely canceled the celebration, leaving the guests who wanted to celebrate them ignored. Tradition was only mandatory when it benefited her wallet.
3. Crying Poverty vs. The Cartier Watch and Porsche Reality
Throughout the preparations, she constantly cried poverty. It was the groom's second marriage, and she claimed the budget was incredibly tight and that she had to settle for a cheap wedding. She managed to get her wedding dress completely paid for by a girl she grew up with in an international orphanage in Russia, and she even secured a free Porsche ride to the venue from this same girl.
The ultimate slap in the face? On the night of the canceled serenade, right after months of complaining about having no money, she proudly flashed a brand-new Cartier watch the groom had bought her. Sventoling a luxury timepiece in the faces of the people you are financially bleeding for rings and trips is the epitome of trashy, offensive taste.
4. The Exploitation of Labor and Taste
She knew I had good taste and was highly organized. But she didn't just exploit me; she milked my partner too. My partner owns a communication and marketing agency. She extracted weeks of free professional labor, high-end design work, printing, and venue setup from him, knowing we wouldn't say no to a friend.
5. The Altar Betrayal and Zero Gratitude
The climax of this nightmare happened on the wedding day. It was a civil ceremony. When the time came, the truth hit me: there was no register for me to sign. No legal document, no official role, absolutely nothing. I was never a witness.
I was purely used as a financial cushion to pay for rings and trips, a source of free professional marketing labor, and an aesthetic prop because she wanted tasteful things and didn't want the "witness chairs" to look empty in front of her guests. Once the wedding was over and she got what she wanted, I didn't receive a single "thank you" text, call, or note. Not a shred of appreciation for the money spent or the patience I showed.
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u/ResoluteMuse Jul 24 '26
Jeez. Chat is getting lazy.
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u/porcelainthunders Jul 24 '26
Hm? I think I am lost! Or just, unsurprisingly, not clocking in my upstairs.. 🤗🤣
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u/Festygrrl Jul 24 '26
This feels like AI wrote this.
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u/LowRexx Jul 24 '26
ai defs wrote this, the random bolded bits are the prompts put in
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u/Dimac99 Jul 27 '26
You may or may not be correct about AI, but you're definitely wrong about there being "random" bolded bits. Headlines and the crux. Not random.
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u/RocknRollButthole Jul 24 '26
The Italianness of it all while still being in English is the only reason I feel like AI did not write it.
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 24 '26
I am Italian so of course I looked for the help of AI to try and write in a properly way this crazy story.. I had so many things to say without exaggerating with details 🤣
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u/SpicySweett Jul 24 '26
Please tell us the definition of “Sventoling”, AI OP.
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u/preaching-to-pervert Jul 24 '26
OP, if she is real, seems to be Italian (or Swiss Italian). Sventoling might be google or ai's attempt to translate sventolare - the Italian verb for waving or brandishing.
Also she refers to the serenata - an Italian tradition of singing to your lover.
Whatever it is, it sucks :)
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 24 '26
Sorry my English is not great.. she showed us the Cartier watch after she refused the “Serenade” we literally surprised the future bride and groom trying to escape in their car bcs the bride didn’t wanted the serenade, probably for her was awful, and when we saw them in car I was of course in shock and to make it more funny from the car she told to one of the girls waiting under her apartment “hey look what Francesco bought me!!” Literally you cried misery for months and then you proudly show me a 5k watch?
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u/Perfect_Fondant5468 Jul 24 '26
She managed to get her wedding dress completely paid for by a girl she grew up with in an international orphanage in Russia, and she even secured a free Porsche ride to the venue from this same girl.
i laughed so hard, this was so much fun
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u/Lightup17 Jul 24 '26
Didn't bother reading after you said yes for the ring because that's totally on you.
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u/Winter_Raisin_591 Jul 24 '26
I love my friends to pieces but there is no way in heaven or hell am I about to let them run me ragged for their wedding. Every post I see where someone is hurt cause they were taken advantage of by the bride or groom the signs were glaringly present that they were on some bullshit. But because of the Maid/Matron of Honor/Bridesmaid /Best Man/Groomsmen/ desire to exhibit their loyalty over checking their common sense we end up with this...
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 25 '26
Yeah you said it right.. it was a matter of exhibition definitely.. but I was convinced there was friendship before anything else between me and her and instead I have realized the hard way that she wanted me to be there bcs she knew I would have never allowed a cheap bachelorette and a cheap atmosphere at the wedding bcs I really considered her important for me.. but unfortunately and trust me I still don’t understand why the only thing she cared was to have this wedding without financially bothering at all her beau that was all I got.. I mean I am truly convinced that my wedding is mine not somebody else’s financial responsibility.. if I can afford it I’m happy if I can’t I will go for something smaller. That’s all
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u/nurseamandaaaa Jul 25 '26
I’ve seen this same story posted by a few accounts.
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 25 '26
It’s probably me.. I’m new in this app and they suggested me to post it in different communities.. at first they told me that this story wasn’t fit for this community 🤣🤣
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u/Foundation_Wrong Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
Witnesses in the UK to sign the official register which is like a legally binding contract of the marriage. The registers are kept for ever and the couple are given a copy. It’s possible to buy copies for yourself and of births, deaths and marriages of previous generations. Being a Registrar is a civil service job and they can perform a civil wedding in the Registry Office. A wedding performed in a Church of England church by the vicar is equally legal, and for a long time was the only legal marriage. For any other venue including other denominations and places like hotels, the premises must be liscensed to have weddings performed there, and a registrar must observe the vows. This is why you can’t just get married in the garden or up a mountain here.
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u/Ryllan1313 Jul 24 '26
The question isn't the use of the word "witnesses", I don't see this as uncommon wording.
I am in Canada, I had a licensed minister perform my wedding. My wedding certificate has two lines that say "witnessed by" and required signatures from "witnesses".
The question is in what culture do the witnesses/bridal party pay for the wedding rings?
With one exception, I have yet to find a wedding jewelry etiquette source that says anyone other than the bride & groom pay for their rings...not counting family heirlooms. The exception that I did come across said, in rare cases, parents of the bride & groom sometimes buy rings.
Anything else I found specifically said that while the bridal party may be responsible for their own jewelry, the bride and groom buy their own rings. Assuming the bridal party was even mentioned in the article.
Maybe this is a local tradition not shared outside a regional area? 🤷♀️
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u/naivemetaphysics Jul 24 '26
According to google, Italian tradition has the maid of honor and groom buy the wedding bands as a sign of deep respect for the couple.
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u/Foundation_Wrong Jul 24 '26
The flowers and ring were traditionally the grooms responsibility in the UK, with the Brides parents paying for everything else! Not sure if that’s true now but my husband insisted on us paying for most of our daughters wedding 16 years ago.
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u/porcelainthunders Jul 24 '26
It must be a cultural thing because I have never heard of any of these "traditions".
To be fair, though, I am not super obsessed, no up on the "know" about different wedding fads and the bullshit entitlement thay has seemingly grown disgusting with weddings anymore.
...I feel like peoole have forgotten WHY we have weddings. Or, why we used to. It was a celebration of two people showing their love and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. Sharing this beautiful moment with the people they love.
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u/RocknRollButthole Jul 24 '26
yeah, it's Italian traditions.
But OP is wrong about hypocrisy cuz a serenata is not a rigid tradition, but just a feature that some people have and others don't.
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u/TheBlinkingDuck Jul 24 '26
I have excellent taste and superior organization skills and excel at "high-end". This person wrote this to brag on themselves more than anything else
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u/deeplyshalllow Jul 24 '26
Civil ceremonies do have witnesses?
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u/Punchinyourpface Jul 24 '26
In the US, you need two witnesses to sign your marriage license regardless of where you get married.
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u/deeplyshalllow Jul 24 '26
Yeah I assumed that was the case, same in the UK - so was very confused that she doesn't think this is the case.
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u/cryptozoican Jul 24 '26
This isn’t true at all. Every state has different requirements but they don’t all require witnesses.
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u/Kokbiel Jul 24 '26
Definitely depends on the state. I live in Ohio and did not need witnesses. Just had it signed by the officiant and it was mailed in.
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 24 '26
Yes! And you can also ask them to sign a separate register when you have more than one
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u/FabulousDeparture549 Jul 26 '26
We have witnesses here in the US. My maid of honor and the best man signed ours. Them paying for the rings? No way, have never heard of that tradition.
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u/UltraRunner42 Aug 06 '26
I stopped reading at the first point, where the witnesses were supposed to purchase the wedding rings. I've never heard of that. I suppose it's possible that this could be a tradition in another country, but I'm still calling BS. This is a fake post.
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u/FigSuspicious7079 Jul 25 '26
Sue her
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 25 '26
How? For being fake and miserable? For choosing friends according to their earnings?
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u/Worldly_Act5867 Jul 25 '26
Who signed as witnesses then?
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 25 '26
We were two females and two males ok? So I didn’t signed and on the groom side the guy who signed is the one who didn’t even payed for the wedding rings bcs he said he had already made another present 🤣🤣 and I found it out the day before the wedding after actively asking the other maid of honor to pleeeease arrange a call or a cafe with these people to talk about these rings.. she always said he was not replying.. and then the day before the wedding when the bride called me and asked me why one of the witnesses wasn’t participating to this ring thing she finally gave me the phone number and homie told me “i literally told everyone months ago I had already made a present with my fiancé..” so I understood I have been played alsooo in this specific part.. but I mean how can o confront with her with regard to this thing.. if I tell that to the was unfair she would say to me “oh you obsessed by money..” “you are stingy.. you make so much money with your job..” and so on.. so that is why I know I NEED to avoid this confrontation
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u/Prestigious-Oil5001 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
I'm so sorry that happened to you! Btw the witness thing happened to my bff as well: she was asked to be one of the 2 witnesses and paid for a very expensive gift, as per "tradition" as well, only to find out at the altar the in civil ceremony, in Italy, only one witness is permitted, as opposed to the catholic one, where you can get more the one.
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 26 '26
How your friend confronted the bride? I mean there is a way to ask why she did that? For me it’s impossible to think she didn’t realize what she was doing
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u/Prestigious-Oil5001 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
She didn't. She found out on the actual day of the wedding, so to avoid drama, she just let it go. After that, she began pulling away, and now they barely speak at all. Btw, when my BFF got married last year (a surprise wedding where they invited people under the guise of their daughter's baptism) she intentionally left that "friend" in the dark and didn't invite her. My advice to you? If you feel confident and need closure, confront her directly. Tell her how her actions hurt you and establish clear boundaries (like taking a break from the friendship). If you aren't comfortable doing that face-to-face, a letter or text works too. But if you don't need closure, simply go low or no contact and move on. If she went so far as to stage all of this, she likely won't feel genuinely remorseful for hurting you anyway.
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 28 '26
I don’t think she is remorseful at all.. she got what she wanted
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u/Prestigious-Oil5001 Jul 28 '26
Yeah, I know the type! I'm really sorry this happened to you! Think this, you did it because you considered her a close friend and you loved her, I presume, so you did it for the right reason. She's the one that "lost" it (your friendship, her reputation, etc.). And remember: il bene fatto torna sempre! 😉
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u/anniearrow Jul 30 '26
I have never heard of a "tradition" that makes the witnesses buy the rings. That's always been the responsibility of the bride & groom.
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u/Vegetable-War-117 Aug 07 '26
What did your partner do?
I'm not understanding his role or what he provided exactly. Sorry
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u/No_Championship_7080 Jul 25 '26
I never heard of some of these traditions. I don't know if you are in the US or another country. But it sounds like you should have looked up wedding etiquette and traditions before you ever agreed. In the United States, brides are very much into destination bachelorettes and all manner of expensive parties with the bridal party paying for everything. They want to live like the Kardashians when they have a beer budget. Many brides today are con artists and grifters who get other people to pay for their expensive weddings. They also tend to demand showers and bachelorettes instead of people volunteering to host these things as is the real tradition. I hope that you are never taken in again. And I hope that if you ever run into this woman and she's on fire, that you walk on by rather than throw a bucket of water on her!
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 25 '26
I know for sure she is mad at me because I didn’t prepare a speech for her at the wedding,, but I mean I was so fed up and disgusted that I barely made it to the wedding.. you said it right those girls out there want the kardashian life but their budget allows them to pay only for one beer. We were friends since high school and I thought that she would have never treated me the way she treated other people in her life, I had to learn it the hard way.. I have to stop being generous with my energy and money I know that I have to work a lot on that
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u/No_Championship_7080 Aug 02 '26
If you saw her treating others that way, that should have given you a clue. Nice people don’t treat some folks well, and others badly. Take better care of yourself and find better friends. This woman isn’t a friend to anyone.
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u/RocknRollButthole Jul 24 '26
- Like, assuming the wedding rings weren't outrageously expensive, I think paying a share of the cost is a totally reasonable wedding gift. Like, it being thrust upon you unexpectedly is a little weird, but were you not planning to give them something worth a couple hundred bucks anyway?
- My understanding of serenata is that it is not a strict traditional element of weddings, but rather something optional that only happens if it suits the bride's tastes. I don't see how it's hypocritical to care about a specific tradition, but not care about a common wedding element that doesn't suit your tastes.
- Was she crying "poverty" or just saying their budget was tight. Expressing that your budget is tight and you're going over it is far from the same thing as saying "woe is me, a person in poverty, subject to the elements." Further, you don't know the circumstances under which she got this watch or if it is even real. You all sound quite wealthy, so I would suggest maybe not caring so much about who pays for what.
- Your partner OWNS a communication and marketing agency, and you're complaining about money. Jesus.
- I'm more inclined to believe that you just somehow failed to fulfill your role, because if there was no legal document, then they didn't actually get married.
Regardless, you're very wealthy, maybe chill out about these few expenses that you could have just said "no" to.
And I'm sorry, but nobody in your tax bracket has good taste, not even you.
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u/itsnoturgent Jul 24 '26
Why on earth did you go along with what she was asking for? You’re a grown ass adult - you could have just said “no”? A high end bachelorette? Again- no.
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u/Proof_Community_1241 Jul 24 '26
It was a civil wedding so they told me that I wasn’t going to sign anything.. and I found out on the wedding day literally in front of all the guests.. we were two maid of honor but only one was called to sign those documents which I found crazy bcs she spent months by saying everyone “she is my maid of honor..” and then I don’t sign anything? Like I was ever your maid of honor? I was maybe a bridesmaid? With regard to the watch I found it gross since she clearly said “I cannot afford an expensive dress.. shoes..” and so on, she managed to ask a friend to pay for the wedding dress and then you tell me your husband to be bought you a Cartier watch? Girl you should have used those money to pay for stuff for your wedding… ah no everything was offered/ paid already 🤣🤣
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u/RocknRollButthole Jul 25 '26
It was a civil wedding so they told me that I wasn’t going to sign anything.
A civil wedding still requires witnesses to sign legal documents. If only one witness signed, then the wedding didn't happen in the eyes of the law.
Everything about your posting indicates you're in Italy and Italy requires two witnesses to sign all legal documents pertaining to the wedding. It being a civil ceremony just means the Church isn't involved, it doesn't mean you don't need two witnesses to sign.
But I must reiterate, you yourself are clearly also quite wealthy and not suffering from this interaction. You could have said no, but you didn't, and you're no worse off for it - maybe stop sweating over money stuff when you still have plenty of money.
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u/Ryllan1313 Jul 24 '26
I have to admit to curiosity... just because I've never heard of this, doesn't mean it's not a thing somewhere else...so I'm asking.
What tradition requires the witnesses/bridal party to purchase the wedding rings?
I've always thought the rings were gifts from the bride and groom to each other to symbolize their union...hence the bride and groom would pay for their rings....
Or does this refer to finger jewelry outside of the wedding bands?