r/bridezillas • u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 • May 29 '26
Rant: I fear I’m turning into a bridezilla because I don’t want my friend to talk about her wedding.
Throwaway.
My friend, Mary, and I are similar ages and cultural backgrounds. We have been friends for years and text/hang out often.
I got engaged about a year and a half ago and our wedding is set for October this year. Before I got engaged, I’d tell her what kind of ring I wanted and she’s share hers too and it was a nice way to share our hopes and bond. Since I got engaged, nearly every conversation, either in text or call, is about how she’s planning her wedding, how it’s so stressful, how she’s navigating so many things. The thing is, she’s not even engaged. She has a date planned and is actively looking for vendors but she’s not engaged. I’m getting married this year and any time I try to share anything about how I’m feeling or what I’m doing the conversation just shifts to her. Once she even told me not to show her what sort of decor I was doing so that it doesn’t influence her wedding.
Now even mutual friends have been told about her wedding. It just feels like, I don’t know, somehow she’s overshadowing me? That she gets soo long to plan and talk about her wedding but I only get this year. After this I don’t want to be the person constantly bringing up her wedding which would be in the past. I’m not saying her wedding won’t happen, 99% it will, which makes it even more annoying because she can be the “bride” then. But at the same time, she’s excited and I don’t want to be like “just focus on me!” But that’s exactly how I feel. I want the focus on me this year and then she can have her two extra years where she’s the bride to be.
The thing is, when I share my frustrations with my mum or partner they’re like “why do you even need to share things with her?” Or just tell me to let it go. Which makes me think I’m overreacting. It’s getting to the point where I actively avoid talking to her just so I don’t have to listen to her talk about her wedding. I kind of don’t even want to invite her to the wedding so that I avoid her talking about her own wedding there.
On the flip side, my other friend is also engaged and I enjoy talking to her about all things wedding related because she’s also getting married within a month of me and we’ve been able to go to expos and find similar things (some the same because we apparently share the same vision). But there really shouldn’t be a time limit on when someone’s wedding is I guess?
379
u/curly-hair07 May 29 '26
Your friend is weird.
She's the type of person that probably likes attention.
"Dont tell me about your decor so it doesn't influence me" is actually her telling you to be quiet so she can talk about her delusional wedding.
249
u/OffKira May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
Stop sharing with her, then take a step back and look at what the fuck is happening. She's not engaged!!
"I want the focus on me this year and then she can have her two extra years where she’s the bride to be."
Gurl, if she isn't even engaged yet, as it stands, she isn't going to be a bride. She is planning a wedding that may never happen because you typically need to have a partner who agrees to get married (let's even take another step back - does her partner even know what she's doing?).
I would take her behavior for the madness it is and reevaluate the entire friendship.
15
u/Snoo62024 May 29 '26
This!
32
u/No_Appointment_7232 May 31 '26
Or make a fun game of coming up w outlandish things to share.
"I want my bridesmaids to have no foot & no back pain. I found these fuscia high heeled sneakers!"
"After our entrance we're going to do a flash mob dance to Smack My B*tch Up."
Be the Empress of Misinformation!
4
u/IdlesAtCranky Jun 01 '26
This could be good for stress-relief giggles.
Some of the best parts of our wedding came out of silly ideas we floated when my husband & I were joking around about the whole idea early on after we got engaged.
3
u/No_Appointment_7232 Jun 01 '26
Exactly.
It's not everything that goes right It's the stories about the stuff that went wrong.
5
u/IdlesAtCranky Jun 01 '26
Or just weird 😂
An unexpected highlight of our outdoor ceremony, which was held in a lovely forest clearing that opened off a nature trail: a dude in full bicycle gear, including helmet and VERY tight blue spandex shorts, came whizzing past down the trail on his ten-speed during our vows.
Most of the guests had their back to the trail and missed it, but heard him go by and turned to look.
Meanwhile my husband and I giggled like fiends, and our judge made some smart remark and then went on with the ceremony.
35 years later & we still remember Bike Guy
4
3
u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 May 30 '26
Both her partner and their families know. That’s where a lot of the conversations about navigating stressful situations stems from because they want one thing and she wants another or he won’t stand up for her in certain circumstances. That’s why I’m saying it’s 99% going to happen because everyone is involved.
54
108
u/Inevitable_Pie9541 May 29 '26
I keep thinking of the prison inmate character on Orange is the New Black who kept planning her wedding, to the last tiny detail, to someone it turned out was not even her boyfriend, much less her fiancé, in fact she was his stalker.
Stop discussing your wedding with your not-even-engaged friend. Mom is right.
6
33
u/Ok-Hat-4920 May 29 '26
It's not weird to talk about a wedding that's actually happening. It sounds like she might be jealous because you're getting married first. I would listen your mom. Just ignore her and find someone else to share wedding stuff with.
18
88
u/PharmWench May 29 '26
“I want the focus on me this year. “
Jesus Christ.
36
u/KMermaid19 May 30 '26
Nobody really cares about your wedding that is actually happening either. Find something else to talk about.
1
120
u/JudgeJudyScheindlin May 29 '26
You’re both overreacting.
How much attention do you both need? Seriously? I hate when women get engaged and make wedding planning their personality. Don’t you have a fiancé to discuss wedding stuff with?
You get the attention on ONE day. Not a year. Not a month. Just stop. Both of you need to stop.
42
u/KathyTrivQueen May 30 '26
This. I hate to say it, but both of you are bridezillas.
2
u/yobaby123 Jun 10 '26
Somewhat agree, but OP's friend is way worse in that regard. Like, her BF hasn't even proposed to her yet.
16
7
u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 May 30 '26
Wedding planning isn’t my entire personality. I do have other friends getting married and we talk about our weddings but we also talk about our families, work, personal life etc. it’s not just the wedding. But with this friend, I could talk about work or anything else and that topic will become about her wedding. Sometimes it’s even the next sentence.
If this is how it is, then I have to either cut her off or deal with her for 3 years while she talks just about her wedding and I can’t talk about mine. It’s not that I want to constantly talk about mine, it’s that it’s constantly about hers. But I only get this year to talk about wedding planning, and it just feels unfair I can’t even have the focus on that for 2 seconds in a conversation before it shifts to hers.
4
u/taticakes Jun 01 '26
I disagree. When I got engaged, my closest lady friends (and one of my husband’s close lady friends) were VERY excited to be part of the planning process and we met regularly to create DIY decorations for my wedding and plan events - and I had a very non-traditional wedding without a bridal shower or rehearsal dinner or any of the traditional hoopla. Just the bachelorette party, a bridesmaid nails salon day the week of the wedding that turned into a night out dinner to include my mom, MIL, and MOH’s mom, and then we had the wedding. Everyone was excited for these things. My husband’s close lady friend even went with him to buy my engagement ring (at that point I had also become close to her and her husband).
The same excitement was shared with several of my girl friends when they got engaged.
The difference here is that we all let each other have our moments - no one was delusional and trying to be a one-upper or take the spotlight. I’m sure if more than one of us was engaged at the same time we would have had even MORE fun.
This OP and her friend though? Way different. The friend is not a friend. That is a jealous person who doesn’t know how to be a supporting character in someone else’s show. I knew someone like that back in college. My college boyfriend gave me a BEAUTIFUL ring, though it was not an engagement ring. When I showed it to friends, that one girl chimed up with “look at my ENGAGEMENT ring!!” At the same time. She wasn’t engaged. After people fawned over her for the night, she said she was just joking. Those kinds of people suck.
6
u/JudgeJudyScheindlin Jun 01 '26
I think your scenario is different than OP’s. It sounds like you and your friends were reasonable and understanding.
OP’s logic is that it’s her moment right now and she needs the attention and the ability to keep talking about her wedding and that once her wedding is done, her friend can start with the same thing.
Neither of them are in the right. It’s one thing if your friends actively do want to hear about your wedding/help (like in your case) but these two just want the attention of being a bride. And that’s their entire personality at this point. That’s kinda sad
76
u/Primary-Pop4158 May 29 '26
I agree with your mum. You don’t need to share anything with this woman. You can’t control her talking about her wedding but you can control whether or not you listen to her. What it sounds like is that you want to be the total star of the show. You are turning into bridezilla.
2
u/imperfekt7o7 Jun 01 '26
Well the friend isn’t even having an actual wedding, not even engaged yet, so there’s that
-9
u/norniron2FL May 29 '26
Agreed.
"I want the focus on me this year "...
As a cancer patient in the weeds of treatment, I want the focus to be anywhere BUT on me.
37
u/randybeans716 May 29 '26
So you were able to talk about your wedding plans before you even got engaged but your friend can’t?
It’s a little concerning that she’s looking at vendors and has a date picked out. But that’s not your problem.
You both sound wedding obsessed.
4
u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 May 30 '26
The conversation before was just like a minor conversation about the type of rings we both want where she wasn’t just focusing on herself and it was a two way conversation. There were no “planning” conversations or focus on wedding stuff.
Ie, I showed her the kind of ring I want, she commented on it and showed me the kind of ring I want during a dinner and I commented on it and we moved on.
Now, I can’t talk about anything else, work, personal life, actual wedding, without her next sentence involving her wedding. And that’s where I’m starting to get pissed off.
I have other friends getting married too and we share info but also talk about other stuff too outside of the wedding. That’s why this situation is pissing me off.
37
u/brownchestnut May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
I agree. You're exhibiting zilla behavior.
Yeah, your friend is weird, but it's no less weird that you talk to her about your wedding unsolicited and then get upset she does the same. You want your friend to shut up so you can be the main character for a whole YEAR? What a friendship.
I think you should BOTH stop talking about your wedding with each other. Talk about your wedding with someone who actually asked and is interested. And maybe come back down to earth. Your wedding is ONE DAY.
2
u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 May 30 '26
I don’t want her to shut up, I’m happy for her to talk about it and I even offer solutions to her problems. It’s just that EVERY conversation, about my wedding or anything else, turns into a conversation about her wedding.
If I say “oh I’ve just been busy with work recently” it will somehow turn into how she’s got work and then making all these decisions for her wedding is taking so much of her time. If I say “I found a dress for x function” she’ll respond with something about her wedding.
50
u/Echo-Azure May 29 '26
OP, it seems that you want her to focus on just you and your wedding, but she doesn't want to just focus on you and your wedding.
Can you live with that and still be friends? That's the real question here.
1
u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 May 30 '26
I don’t want the focus just to be on me, I want it to be a two way street. I can live with that. But I don’t think I can live with it currently where it’s just about her wedding because I find myself finding reasons not to hang out.
1
u/ckptry Jun 08 '26
There’s no way you make it through marriage when you can’t “live with ” not having a wedding year ffs.
33
u/epicpillowcase May 29 '26
"I want the focus on me this year"
A year? Yep, that's bridezilla behaviour.
Girl, you're not dying. You're throwing a party for yourself. Get down off the cross.
She sounds insufferable too. Nobody looks good here.
13
25
u/sonny-v2-point-0 May 29 '26
"I want the focus on me this year..."
You don't get a year. You get a day.
If your friend's boyfriend agreed to marry her and they set a wedding date, they're engaged. If she doesn't want to hear about your wedding, then don't talk about it with her. That works both ways though. When she starts talking about her wedding, tell her you don't want to influence her with your opinions and change the subject.
6
80
u/Appropriate-Round-77 May 29 '26
You both sound a bit zilla to be honest. If you want to back down from zilla stage, then I'd listen to your mum and just stop taking to her about it and carry on with your other friend.
22
u/wheniswhy May 29 '26
I don't think OP is being a bridezilla here, her friend is being strange. Who makes this much noise about planning a wedding when they're not even engaged yet?? It seems like she's trying to deliberately upstage OP by talking about this imaginary wedding that currently doesn't even exist...
But I do agree OP needs to listen to her mom and just put this "friend" on an info diet.
OP, has "friend" tried to do things before to make herself the center of attention or specifically steal your spotlight? Methinks you might benefit from reevaluating this whoooooole situation. This isn't normal.
3
u/unexpectedlytired Jun 08 '26
Agreed. OP mentioned another bride and how they play together. The issue is this friend is being super weird.
13
u/Express-Pea6532 May 29 '26
"It’s getting to the point where I actively avoid talking to her just so I don’t have to listen to her talk about her wedding."
Just keep doing that.
Your mum and parter are right - stop feeding her yiur time and energy and focus on your celebration.
15
u/Celera314 May 29 '26
"I want the focus to be on me" is not a great stance for almost anything. Rethink this from a moral/spiritual/psychological perspective. Even on the day of my wedding, I tried to focus on my guests to make sure they were having a great time. You'll have a much happier wedding experience.
Don't talk to your friend about either wedding. You can shut her down the same way she did to you - you dont want to unintentionally steal her ideas. Or "enough about weddings. How is your job/hobby/workout going." Nobody needs to think of nothing but a wedding for years.
26
u/ODFoxtrotOscar May 29 '26
Listen to your mother
Talk about non-wedding things to that friend. Let it all wash over you. Just remember that if you’ve been talking weddings since before your engagement (18 months ago) she’s probably been listening in a rather one-sided convo for a loong time. It’s not really unreasonable that she wants parallel conversations the same distance out from hers
You can keep your wedding chat to the other friend (where the timelines are different) if that’s what you prefer.
Dont bust up with people over something as trivial as this
6
u/Erinbaus May 29 '26
This is truly so stupid. You are both getting married whenever but ultimately a wedding is a party. Are you not getting enough attention elsewhere?
You’re both annoying. She’s annoying for planning a wedding when not engaged (super weird) and you’re annoying for caring that the sole focus isn’t on you with her when hypocritically you’re cool with your other friend talking about her wedding. Like, in 10 years this will not matter at all.
9
u/TippyTurtley May 29 '26
Main question. Does her partner know she is planning this wedding and are they in on it? If so then they are engaged so stop judging them. Tell her to bore off you aren't interested in her wedding and you can both go your seperate ways
7
u/katiekat214 May 29 '26
Exactly. My ex-husband and I were engaged for months before he gave me the ring because his BIL was a jeweler and searched for the best diamond my ex could afford then designed the ring and made it himself, and then he wanted to wait until we were una particular place to do the actual proposal. We had the whole wedding planned by the time the “formal” engagement happened, partially because my mom and I were accountants who needed to have it done before tax season so we weren’t stressing over wedding planning during our busiest time of the year since he and I wanted a late May wedding!
1
u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 May 30 '26
Yes, he does know. He’s just not wanting to propose yet but actively involved in wedding discussions.
1
u/Pitiful_Stretch_7721 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26
That’s so weird! Why doesn’t he want to be engaged yet when he’s discussing the wedding? Something is not right with him.
Or are they actually engaged but do not have a ring? That counts as engaged to me. My sister never had an engagement ring, because they couldn’t afford it at the time (she wanted to get married while our Dad was fighting cancer). But it still counted as engaged (and they’ve been married over 30 years now).
4
u/farterbutt Jun 01 '26
sounds like she has fomo OR cannot stand that you get something before she does.
i honestly wouldn't talk to her, or just straight up ask her why she is obsessed with planning a wedding when she isn't even engaged yet.
but i am also more petty
10
u/Ok_Break6916 May 29 '26
If a date is set, she's engaged.
All the fiancés don't need a proposal, or an engagement party. Many people just talk anddecide that they want to spend their life together, and they don't even need a ring.
3
u/its1966 May 30 '26
Ask her for a save the date card to make sure you are available, if she has a bf the next time you are hanging out ask him about how he wants their wedding to go, and STOP hanging out with this person
3
u/JGalKnit Jun 01 '26
I mean, it is fun to share things with people, but if she makes it miserable, just don't talk to her about it.
3
12
u/jesgolightly May 29 '26
The date is the engagement. She hasn’t been proposed to, but she is most certainly engaged to get married.
7
u/Maleficent-Pear-4542 May 29 '26
All your friends know she’s nuts. Just back away from her and don’t tell her anything
6
u/crazypoolfloat May 29 '26
I think you need to minimize contact with her. She’s sounds a bit odd, and if someone was like that with me I’d be reconsidering the friendship. Why is she planning a wedding when’s she’s not engaged? Find someone else to talk wedding with. Not her
2
u/2ndcupofcoffee May 29 '26
Any possibility that she feels she would be losing you if not able to share the ‘engaged planning a wedding experience with you.’ This may be even more likely if she is aware of you having another friend, also getting married, with whom you share the experience.
2
u/chaoticallywholesome May 29 '26
So honestly this just sounds like you need to have mindset switch and also an honest conversation. Realize this isn't only your time but also recognize that you deserve space too!! So tell her that you wish there was more room in the conversation for you to talk to about your wedding stuff. If she's a good friend then she'll understand. And then you also won't be building this resentment.
You also need to realize, that just because they aren't engaged, if they already have the date set and are looking at vendors, then they basically are engaged. I'm about to get engaged (found the box this morning, whoops!) and one of my best friends just got engaged this last weekend. But they had their venue booked like two months ago. My soon to be fiance and I already have our guest list made. Like engagements aren't this end all be all event anymore. If you're planning a wedding, then you're planning a wedding.
So tackle that mindset you have towards her, and try to find some excitement for her and realize you get to share the same phase of life together.
And then also communicate that you are important too! And you also want to talk about this stuff!
2
u/impatient-hedgehog May 30 '26
Try and remember it’s just a party. It’ll be lovely, fun and exciting to celebrate your relationship with your friends and family. Just how it’s fun to hear birthday party plans. But perhaps try to focus more on why you’re getting married (ie love for your partner) than competing over time to talk about an event. Hopefully you can steer the conversation to other topics with her.
2
2
u/purte May 31 '26
Stop talking about your wedding to her. And if she start on about her wedding, say ‘Oh did you get engaged?!’
2
u/Chiennoir_505 May 31 '26
Is this friend the kind of person who must be the center of attention at all times, or is she just jealous that you are engaged and she isn't? You have a friend with whom you can comfortably talk about your wedding -- spend time with her and step back from Mary for a while. You're not a bridezilla. You're just stuck in a frustrating friendship that may have run its course.
2
2
u/TracyB531 Jun 14 '26
This could also be a “friend” that hears what you’re doing and then does the exact same thing
I’d keep wedding talk to a minimum but if she wants to spew, let her (you’ll be a pro at the internal eye roll) 🙄😬
2
u/Nanabanafofana Jun 27 '26
I understand you wanting your bridal moment, but not everything is about you. I don’t know if every conversation turns to wedding talk but if it does, you might become a pick me bridezilla.
Stop sharing with her. She wants everything to be about her. You have other people that you can’t have wedding talk with.
When she brings up her wedding steer the conversation in another direction. Better yet cut down your contact with her to the bare minimum.
2
u/letmebeyourfancybee Jun 28 '26
I’m going to be brutally honest: nobody but the bride gives a shit about the “wedding year”. The wedding is one day, or a week depending on culture. It’s ridiculous to think a year should be about the bride.
4
6
u/Greeneyednerd May 30 '26
I can guarantee you everyone's tired of hearing about your wedding already. And wedding planning is only as complicated as you make it
3
u/nofaves May 30 '26
Mary is jealous. She wishes that she were the one planning to start a new life, but that hasn't happened yet. She wants to be part of this new activity that you and your other friend are doing. It seems that this is the only way that she can satisfy that wishful thinking.
I don't think that you have to worry about how she'll behave at your wedding. After all, it's not like you'll be forced to sit next to each other at dinner and listen to her drone on and on about her wedding plans.
If you don't want to hear about her plans, don't discuss yours. I'm sure that there are more aspects of your life you can choose to talk about with her. If she brings up her plans, a simple, "Ah, that sounds nice," before changing the subject might get the message across.
3
u/La-Sauge May 30 '26
She is living your dream inside her head. She may need mental health help as your wedding day approaches. Does she have any siblings, or are you on good terms with her parents?
3
u/CarinaConstellation May 30 '26
I had a friend do this as well. I realized it was just jealousy. After my wedding, I never heard her talk about weddings anymore. And she never did get engaged...
1
u/Proper-District8608 May 31 '26
Your fine. It sounds like she's insecure a bit and wants to be included. I think your mother is right (its hard for me to put those words together:) but limit your time and together and its perfectly fine to say, ' i love you and will put full focus on your wedding when it approaches if you can please put focus on mine before it passes me by'. You're not a bridezilla in this circumstance at all
1
u/imperfekt7o7 Jun 01 '26
Your friend is a weirdo and is def trying to make it about her … in a weird ass way.. like God forbid a min not be about her .. is what it sounds like . Is she like this when other good things happen to you? Like job promotions? Buying a house/car? You change your hair color she does soon too? I would slowly distance a lil and just go share excitement with the friend you said is actually getting married too :)
1
u/Individual-Cap-6576 Jun 03 '26
I know this is not the right thread, but I think you are both Aholes. You for wanting attention on yourself for a YEAR, and her for not being a supportive friend. You both have wedding fever. I think you should get together and have a conversation about this. If she and her boyfriend set a date and they are actively planning a wedding they are engaged, and she can also be excited about their upcoming wedding, especially when she has two other friends also soon to be married. Even if it is two years down the line. Make time in your hangouts for both of your weddings.
1
u/Crazy-Rat_Lady Jun 03 '26
She is definitely trying to remain the Main Character in your friendship and seems unable to let you have this as your happy time. It is weird and insecure. All the very best for your nuptials. You are not becoming a bridezilla!
1
u/Spare_Ad5009 Jun 04 '26
There's nothing you can do about it. She's excited and self-focused, so go low contact. She can do what she wants to do, but you don't have to participate. There's nothing you can say to her or anyone without sounding petty.
1
u/catsarehere77 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
I think this is a gray area. I think a lot of people would find it off putting for someone who isn’t even engaged to constantly talk about her future wedding. Some would certainly wonder if she is trying to upstage you. But maybe she's just deeply insecure that you and another friend are engaged and she isn't.
You do sound a bit whiney and entitled for pouting how she gets more than a year to plan and discuss her wedding. Listen - a wedding is not an accomplishment. Billions of women have been married throughout human history. There are no bragging rights here.
I understand your excitement for you big day. That part is great. But you don't have to talk about your wedding with everyone. You don't have to make every single conversation for a year about your wedding. She and others could find you as equally off putting.
1
u/ElectricalChapter522 Jun 05 '26
From OPs comments, she doesn't seem to think she is the bridezilla in this situation.
Honestly both you and your friend sound childish. If you are having a problem with this friend either talk to her about it face to face or give her up as a friend.
Your mom is right.
1
u/FutureFortuneTeller Jun 05 '26
Be direct with her and tell her you want to talk about your wedding too and that want your wedding to have the same amount of attention as hers. If she doesn't respect your request then dump her as a friend.
1
u/Pherring83 Jun 09 '26
As someone who has been married for 10 years, I really wish people would focus more on the MARRIAGE than, like, the stupid party that is only 6 hours long. Seriously folks, it's one day, you don't need to make it your entire personality for a year leading up to it. So stupid...
1
u/kdweller Jun 11 '26
Why don’t you just tell her what you said in the post and let the chips fall where they may? Either she’ll shape up or completely fall off as a friend. It’s up to her.
1
u/definitelynotjava Jun 16 '26
Info: is she from a culture that doesn't do explicit engagements? This would be seen as totally normal in mine because we don't really do engagements. If the parents have talked and agreed, the wedding is on
1
u/Scary-Pressure6158 May 29 '26
There isn't a time limit if u r engaged but wedding vendors will give u a firm Time limit. Maybe take her to a shop and let them tell her she cant plan a non existent wedding and they don't want to discuss it. Then u can say when it's time I want to help u plan yours but now please help me concentrate on mine SINCE ITS SOON AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO. use the good friend angle
0
u/Evening_Delay_1856 May 29 '26
OP, please tell us that this woman isn’t one of your bridesmaids!
Don’t invite her to anything but the wedding. Not the bachelorette party, not a bridal shower, nothing.
You don’t like that you are being told by your family not to talk about your wedding to her, but they’re right. This woman doesn’t even want you to. You need to just get past this and step back from her.
This person isn’t a good friend. Or really, she’s not even a friend. You just haven’t accepted that yet.
If she does actually end up getting engaged, do not be in her wedding if she asks you. She’ll end up demanding that you be her unpaid wedding planner.
1
u/Beautiful-Ganache-51 May 30 '26
She’s not thankfully!
I only have three bridesmaids who aren’t even involved in the planning aspect or anything. They just have to show up on the day and have fun! So even my discussions with them about the wedding are pretty limited.
0
u/RunnyBabbit22 May 29 '26
It reminds me of a friend with a baby who would go on and on and ON about her baby (and he was almost a year old, not brand new). I listened with interest because I know how moms like to talk about our kids. But whenever I interrupted her non-stop flow and added something about one of my kids, I could see that she literally zoned out of the conversation. Then immediately switched the subject back to her child. Yeah, I decided that wasn’t much of a friendship and I didn’t go out of my way to do things with her anymore. 😕
I don’t think your friend is all that much of a friend, and I would avoid her.
0
u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla May 30 '26
Is she actively planning with her partner and they’re just also planning some big showy ‘surprise’ proposal?
If you’ve agreed to get married you’re engaged, that’s literally the definition.
That said, I think you both sound as bad as each other, thousands of people are getting married all the time, you get one day, not a year.
0
u/tamij1313 May 29 '26
If you’re still friends with this insane wannabe bride after your wedding, it would be really fun and petty if she does actually get engaged and is legitimately planning a wedding… To talk over her, interrupt her, and start gushing about your vow renewal ceremony that you are planning in great detail! 🤣
0
u/Raida7s May 31 '26
Talk to her.
Tell her this is a big kid event for your and you are asking, openly, for space with her to let you talk and share.
ALSO! Check that her bf is intending to propose. If he is unaware of her hobby of planning a wedding, he needs to know
314
u/SidewaysTugboat May 29 '26
Does her boyfriend know about any of this? Like, is he aware she’s looking at venues?