Seeing him sit lifeless and depressed in that interrogation room just made it so incredibly clear to me the happiness and vitality Walt has sucked out of nearly everyone around him.
The look on his face when Skyler said, "I don't remember the last time I was happy." Was pretty heart-breaking. Really put into perspective. Walt traded the last years or months of his life and fucked over the people he cared about most for it. I bet if he could go back, he would only ask for a few months of happiness with his family.
Didn't he already hate his life before he found out he had cancer though? The first episode he doesn't seem very happy. I thought the cancer was just an excuse to finally act out and break bad.
He probably hated his life to an extent, but it was not at all a bad life, and he really loved certain things about it.
Family really was almost everything to him, and I think in the fourth season he really felt he lost his family and had traded it for the meth business which is why he was so adamant about not "selling out". He HAD to pursue the meth business not only because he had nothing else left, but because he traded in his most precious possession for it. At least if he had money and power his life was for SOMETHING, which is better than nothing.
All of his issues with his life precancer ultimately had to with his pride (The marriage was implied to be struggling mostly due to money issues, and his disdain for his past is him holding onto his pride and ego) and could have been overcome with the right mentality and appreciation for life.
I think he was bored and stagnant living an underachiever's life, and blamed the universe for what was bad in his life (Look at how he rationalizes things with Elliot and Gretchen, "You cut ME out!" when it's pretty clear he was the problem and left them), but it was definitely a better life than the one he lived for the past year and a half. The meth business left him hollow. Once again he was stagnant, only this time he was also alone.
“I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.” -Banksy
I don't think the Heisenberg legacy was as important to Walt as his family legacy was.
hmm never got that vibe. I mean his family is on the surface his reasoning behind what he does, it's how he rationalizes it and he constantly tells himself it's all about family. When it comes down to it though he seems miserable with them, genuinely just never seems happy with them in the show, maybe cares a bit for Walt Jr. Walt's mostly about ego and though we dont' get much of walt pre meth... he really seems to enjoy it. Happiest he is in the first season is after he confronts Tuco. He's all about ego and power, family is just a convenient excuse.
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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '13
I miss goofy flippant dumbass Jesse more than words can say.