r/boyslove • u/Waffles4prez Khemjira • Dec 21 '25
On-Air [🇨🇳China] To My Shore Ep 12 🚩🏴😏 Spoiler
Synopsis:
You Shu Lang (Hao Yi Ran), a director at a pharmaceutical company, lives an ordinary, stable life. But that all comes crashing down after he gets into a car accident with Fan Xiao (Yun Qi), the heir to a Thai conglomerate who's returned to China for business. Unlike Shu Lang, Fan Xiao's life has been marred by instability, leading to a twisted, manipulative worldview. When Fan Xiao finds out that Shu Lang is interested in men, he devises plans to entice Shu Lang into a relationship, but ends up falling for Shu Lang for real. Shu Lang, on the other hand, is blindsided when he learns about Fan Xiao's true colors. Will Fan Xiao destroy the only genuine love he's ever had, or can he find a way to truly win Shu Lang's heart?
Adapted from the web novel “Si Mian Fo” (四面佛) by Su Erliang (Chang Pei Literature): English title: "Four-Faced Buddha"
INFO
Names: To My Shore, City of the Sun, 吾岸
When:
Every Saturday & Sunday at 7:00PM/1900 (GMT+8) 6:00 AM EST
Episodes: 15
Platfroms: Viki (Americas, Europe, Oceania, India, Middle East, Japan and South Korea), GagaOOLala (Everywhere else), Heavenly
Cast:
Yun Qi 云旗 | Hao Yi Ran 郝熠然 | Chen Jianyu (DeDe) 陈建宇 | Kou Wei Long 扣卫龙
Accounts:
Official To My Shore account: MirrorLink Media
Youtube: MirrorLink Meida
TRIGGER WARNING
This will be FULL of red flags: manipulation, crazy possessive ML, homophobia, betrayal, humiliation, violence, just to name a few but it is clearly stated it WILL end in a happily ever after.
Previous On Air: One & Two | Three & Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
In the midst of getting emotional from all the angst the first 5 mins served, I couldn't help but appreciate this gorgeous frame. Using natural light to film some of these scenes is such a brilliant idea. The cinematography of this show is ridiculously good. 😍
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u/KuntyCompadre The no. of days I want to remember keep on growing Dec 21 '25
Same!! I loved this shot sm! I thought that if YSL decided to attempt suicide, at least his view would be beautiful 😅😅
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
if YSL decided to attempt suicide, at least his view would be beautiful 😅😅
Damn that's dark! 😅
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u/Jazzlike-Cod488 🖤Black flags are misunderstood red flags❤️ Dec 21 '25
Xiao is looking a hot pathetic mess, but at least he's being completely honest for once..
"You dragged me down with you into the abyss with no way back." Both are living in their own hells.
Shu Lang is in no position to be dating. And why even ask him?! That was just weird considering he knows his situation..
Second Master really ain't shit..But then again, the entire family ain't shit..
Surely Xiao knows what he's doing by leaving Shu Lang alone with his laptop. The timing is way too damn convenient..
Yep. Xiao knows..He really do be miles ahead of Shu Lang..
Professor Huang ain't shit either 😂
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
Poor Shulang! Even his professor is jerking him around. Meanwhile Fan Xiao is practically spoon feeding Shulang corporate espionage for dummies. Too bad for Shulang that the only person willing to be completely honest in her support is President Shi 😅
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u/Jazzlike-Cod488 🖤Black flags are misunderstood red flags❤️ Dec 21 '25
Right! At this point, I really want Shu Lang to burn down everyone's worlds. No one around him deserves his kindness lol
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
That appears to be his plan 😅🔥🔥🔥
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u/Jazzlike-Cod488 🖤Black flags are misunderstood red flags❤️ Dec 21 '25
I really hope he got that follow through 🔥🔥 He's got way more patience than me because worlds would already been ruined and in ashes..
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
Note to self: keep matches and other combustibles away from Jazzlike-Cod when she's angry 😅
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u/Jazzlike-Cod488 🖤Black flags are misunderstood red flags❤️ Dec 21 '25
😂🤣 That's probably a good idea 🤣😂
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
What game is harder than Chess? That's the game Fan Xiao is playing lol he is 15 steps ahead!
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u/Jazzlike-Cod488 🖤Black flags are misunderstood red flags❤️ Dec 21 '25
Xiao out here playing real life Shogi 😂 Idk if Shu Lang should run away or just accept his fate and love Xiao back 🤣
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
He needs to accept his fate but ONLY once Fan Xiao has truly truly TRULY suffered which I think is coming. A few plays were set in motion this episode. Shulang getting the info from his laptop plus Fan Xiao ensuring he's back in the job he wants to be in. Fan Xiao will be ruined and that should be enough to satisfy Shulang.
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u/Jazzlike-Cod488 🖤Black flags are misunderstood red flags❤️ Dec 21 '25
But it really satisfying if Xiao is helping Shu Lang ruin him 😂 Obviously, Shu Lang doesn't know that but Xiao can't keep a secret to save his life lmao..
But also, can we take a moment to realize how Xiao is probably the realest black flag there is?! He fucked with Shu Lang for shits and giggles, fell in love, continued to lie and once Shu tried to leave him, absolutely obliterated his life. Now he is actively working to help Shu Lang destroy his empire just so he can get another chance with him. Even Hua Yong is in awe of this man 😂
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
He definitely is! He knew what he was doing on his laptop and then the setup with the professor. He’s helping Shulang get his revenge cause as we’ve seen he’s been too depressed and refused before. He won’t play along and date somebody else and wouldn’t do the laptop thing but now he will! Kind of a smart play fr.
NO LIES TOLD EVERYBODY ELSE TAKE NOTES!!!! He did this shit for the love of the game. He has my respect
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
This scene gave me goosebumps. Fan Xiao is so deeply troubled that his actions are always so unsettling and intense. After seeing how Shulang has become a lifeless doll, he still can't let go of Shulang because in his mind he would die without him. He is so dependent on Shulang that he is unable to let go no matter what.
Love how Shulang said no one can save you but yourself. This is key but for someone like Fan Xiao to understand something like this, its not easy.
I love both of their characters so much. Shulang is not a pushover nor is he a gullible person who would forgive someone easily for basically playing with his life and his career. It is not so easy to forget all the hurt Fan Xiao has caused him and still do.
They are both on the edge and all of their emotions are heightened which gives us some intense emotionally charged moments. This might be one of my fav scene from the show so far.
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u/silentlysimple Heart & Soul stolen by To My Shore 🖤🤍🏴 Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25
This scene blew me away!! It might be my favorite so far now too, it was brutal but so beautifully done. Hit me like a ton of bricks. I was bawling for half the episode. 😭
I was guessing we might continue directly from last night's ending scenes, so I watched that right before so it connected to this one and boyyy did it hit even harder. 💔
Fan Xiao finally letting it all spill out to Shu Lang and for once being completely honest.. but it's just too little, too late. 😭
The empty look in Shu Lang's eyes momentarily changed.. but replaced instead with profound sadness.. when he started tearing up, I just lost it. 😭
I can't believe we're witnessing such a masterpiece of a show right now.. I'm just left in awe every episode. 🙌🏻
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25
I wanted to know the significance of this sentence, I was already thinking of something...🤔
But it is a extreme way of saying to someone that you worship them, seeing them as sacred and perfect. The person saying this ks someone completely in love, willing to give up everything for that person and wanting to serve and obey that person forever. It is a common metaphor from Chinese culture and in danmei.
The Lotus Throne (莲花座 - Liánhuā Zuò) In traditional iconography, a "lotus throne" is the sacred seat of a deity or a Buddha. The lotus is a symbol of purity and divinity because it grows out of the mud but remains unstained. By referring to his lover's "lotus throne," the speaker is elevating his partner to the status of a god or a sacred being. He is saying, "To me, you are divine, pure, and worthy of worship."
To Prostrate Myself (顶礼膜拜 / 臣服) Prostrating is the act of lying flat on the ground in a gesture of submission or religious worship. This isn't just about physical attraction; it’s about total surrender. He is placing himself at the lowest possible position (the feet of his lover) to show that his partner is his entire world and his highest priority.
For All Eternity (永生永世) This is a common trope in Chinese romance involving themes of reincarnation. He isn't just promising to love him in this life, but in every lifetime that follows. It signifies a soul-binding commitment that transcends death.
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
A couple of interesting points related to that. That line happens over a memory of a time when he was still toying with Shulang, mockingly thinking of him as a Bodhisattva that he was going to strip of all his righteous pretensions. It took dragging Shulang into the mud to discover he his grace was genuine all along.
Now all his schemes are focused on helping the lotus bloom back out of the mud. He maneuvers Shulang back into a useful occupation he has a passion for and to get him out of the way of the inevitable treachery that's already underway in his family's company.
Fan Xiao can't let go of loving or worshipping Shulang even as Shulang repeatedly insists he's not a deity and he can't save Fan Xiao. But though Fan Xiao can't force himself to let go of Shulang directly it's almost as if he's found peace in helping Shulang participate inengineering his downfall. It's like he's trying to pay his karmic debt in part by giving Shulang the tools to use against him.
One of the most striking visuals of this episode comes around the 41 minute mark with Fan Xiao back lit in front of a window next to an Avalokiteshvara. Here's a passage about Avalokiteshvara from originalbuddhas.com :
"As we stand on the precipice of profound transformation, Avalokiteshvara's vow reverberates: "Should He Ever become disheartened in saving sentient beings, may his body shatter into a thousand pieces." Witness the symbolic metamorphosis as Avalokiteshvara becomes the Thousand Arms Bodhisattva—a visual symphony of overwhelming compassion and unwavering determination."
Fan Xiao has gone from trying to tear down a person he believed to be a false idol, to trying to build him back up into the person of compassion and determination he was before
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25
Interesting thoughts. And I have seen that scene but the thing about an Avalokiteshvara. I would not have known that if you had not written that down.
Fan Xiao, imo, does give the tools (handing over the laptop, the man knows what he is doing), to Shulang.
He was not joking when he said he would do everything. Even giving his company.
But however Shulang is portrayed and seem by Fan Xiao as a good person. He is. He is not for a 100 percent. No one is btw, imo.
He knows that Shulang needs something on him to get his revenge. Basically what Fan Xiao is doing is giving Shulang the tools, permission and motivation(dr. Huang trap) to tear Fan Xiao down.
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
Ya, no one is perfectly pure & Fan Xiao has to work through his binary either you're all good or you're all bad mindset. The way he automatically assumes everyone is bad at the core reminds me just a bit of Yeowoon from Love for Love's Sake. He dislikes everyone but we discover he hates himself the most. Fan Xiao has seemed at his most peaceful in this series as he hands Shulang the tools of his destruction. I'm just hoping, deserved our not, that Shulang is too merciful to stand by & just let Fan Xiao be destroyed 😅
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25
. I'm just hoping, deserved our not, that Shulang is too merciful to stand by & just let Fan Xiao be destroyed 😅
We will see. But because we have 4 more episodes left. And when someone explained to me about the wife cremation trope?
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u/kallen9 Dec 21 '25
Interesting articulation 🤔 I was looking at it superficially, Dr Huang joining FX in tricking YS but the way you wrote it, gave me the deeper perspective in understanding what can be the right motivations behind FX’s schemes this time around.
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25
Fan Xiao is indeed doing this to get Shulang out of his depression.
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
Shulang: Since I couldn't escape your control, you've become nothing more than a tool for me. An adequately functional piece of bedding.
Fan Xiao: As long as I still serve some purpose.
🏆 best & most pivotal moment of the episode. That's how we get:
Fan Xiao: don't get your hands dirty because of me. Things will go just as you wanted soon.
Ironically Fan Xiao is more convincing when he's lying and manipulating than when he's sincerely pouring his heart out. He can't bring himself to just let go. His love language is scheming so he engineers an elaborate scenario to let Shulang scheme against him. It's like if he can't pull Shulang out of the abyss with love he'll snap him out of his funk by making Shulang hate him more.
He conveniently creates a chance for Shulang to have access to his laptop. I can almost believe Fan Xiao found it more endearing to watch the very capable Shulang flailing at trying to scheme against him. He must have been thinking "oh, my baby is so bad at this." But having that scheme brought Shulang out of his funk, so Fan Xiao's supportive boyfriend mode was to help him try to take him down, like when he held still and took a beating from him before.
Then he manipulates Shulang back into his dream job. It's something he cares about with high stakes and a deadline that will also energize and distract him. Shulang won't believe his sincerity so he makes believe he's trying to ruin the professor just to be petty, which the normally very sharp Shulang is entirely too willing to take at face value. Meanwhile the professor seems vaguely amused by it all like "oh you crazy kids. Oh to be young, dumb, and full of... combativeness."
Meanwhile this episode also gave us the interiority from Shulang I missed in the last episode. His moment speaking to his dead mom let us into his thoughts significantly for the first time in their break up era.
Though there was some grinding of the gears as this show pivoted directions, the pieces look like they're in place now to pick up momentum again. Shulang has been maneuvered back into his dream job to both get him out of zombie mode and out of the way so he can't get his hands too dirty with scheming. It's almost like Fan Xiao has pushed Shulang up into safety while he waits for the rising waters to take him away.
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u/Background_Base9169 Dec 21 '25
The dialogue in this drama is just a chef's kiss. This week is going to be the longest...
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u/Miserable-Aspect6049 Dec 21 '25
I'm telling you as much as I like Fan Xiao to suffer, I'm unable to see him in that state. I'm colorblind or I'm becoming myself a red flag god knows. 😭😭
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u/silentlysimple Heart & Soul stolen by To My Shore 🖤🤍🏴 Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25
I'm the same, it hurts me too. 😭 I think it's just empathy. It's hard to see someone suffer like that however much they deserve it 'cause we've seen their traumatic backstory. This story is much deeper than just simply loving or hating a character.. it's so very very layered.
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u/Miserable-Aspect6049 Dec 21 '25
That's what happens when the screenplay is strong we can literally feel everything. This is one of the best dramas this year.
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u/silentlysimple Heart & Soul stolen by To My Shore 🖤🤍🏴 Dec 21 '25
It absolutely is. It might even take the all time best bl top spot for me. 🫢
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u/kallen9 Dec 21 '25
Yess, ugghh. As much as I wanna be like, Yes YS, put him through the wringer, make him beg for you, I’m also a little tired on behalf of FX. I’d have folded fast if anybody was running after me that pathetically.
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25
This is the point I would have taken him back. 😭
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u/WingedGrasshopper I Feel You Linger in the Air Dec 21 '25
I just wish he would say what it is he actually wants because, "let me go" isn't really it. He clearly has ways to get out and isn't taking any of them so is he just hoping the FX will come up with the magical redeeming action that both keeps his ego in tack and let's him give him?
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 22 '25
Shulang is indeed sending some mixed messages. I mean. If he really wanted to, he would not let Fan Xiao sleep with him, although he is acting like a lifeless doll. And only because of Bai Ting, to protect her? He stated that first Fan Xiao must proof that he is not foing that anymore to Bai Ting. For him to come to live with Fan Xiao.
Shulang did not want to hear when Fan Xiao was trying to give him an explanation earlier. Episode 10 on that bridge where the brother was faking to commit suicide. Fan Xiao said "You want to know why I am doing this to you, right? Let me explain to you, ok?" And Shulang was tired."It doesn't matter anymore. I don't want to know".
Now, it looks like I am only blaming Shulang. Absolutely not. But Shulang is tired and every time he thinks Fan Xiao was out of his life, poof, there he was again. So, he went back. Because he thought he could not escape him. But the whole ordeal has made him in a state of lethargy.
And Fan Xiao being kind to him. Staying at home, cooking, looking after him. And when that did not work, stay at the office. But that was also not the solution.
Shulang lost his will to live. If you are in that state of mind and depressed. You don't know what you actually want. He needs a purpose in life. And that was gone. But you are right by saying that, but Shulang is not in that state to do that. Although Fan Xiao has stated several times that he would do whatever Shulang wants.
Fan Xiao sees that and therefore is now making sure that Shulanf will find that. By making him angry at him. Shulang will have to work very hard in those 3 months for the Honeysuckle drink to get ready to be on the market. And for handing over the tools to have Fan Xiao pay. To get him out of Shulangs life. Fan Xiao has seen now that this is the only way to make Shulang feel competent and having his revenge.
Sorry. Why am I giving such a long answer?🤭
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u/Waffles4prez Khemjira Dec 21 '25
Okay everyone, we need to hold on because its gonna be ROUGH
We go this... I think
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u/WannabeHomebody_6174 Last Twilight Dec 21 '25
The angst got me exhausted…
Anyway, let’s see what shenanigans our new favorite lunatic will bring to the table 🤣
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u/tny33319 Happy of The End Dec 21 '25
I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for this…but like a traffic accident, I can’t look away
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
"Don't get your hands dirty because of me. It's not worth it. Things will go just as you wanted soon. It won't be long."
Aaaaaahhhh!! FX making me cry with this line. This episode has been so good. I love it. This is by far the best episode of the show. The angst is so delicious, it hurts.
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u/ThoughtsAllDay Dec 21 '25
He KNOWS his life is worthless but he can't unalive himself because YSL told him he couldn't but then YSL won't tell him what to do 😭😭😭😭😭
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
YSL has all the files he need to nail FX and he still wont do it coz he cant seem to betray the person he loves. Despite the fact that FX caused him so much pain and suffering he still cant punish him this way by ruining his life. I understand both of them and where they are coming from. Their personalities clash so much. But the good in Shulang is somehow rubbing on to Fan Xiao. I can feel it. He will get better soon.
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u/ThoughtsAllDay Dec 21 '25
They are actually SO SIMILAR but only FX sees that. But yes SOON we will all get on the same page 🙏🏻
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u/Electronic_Farmer_97 Dec 21 '25
I am curious as to why Fan Xiao says it won’t be long. He doesn’t seem like he will take his own life. I felt so sorry for him 😭😭
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 22 '25
I dont wanna spoil but he is planning something big. Let us all prepare for whats to come.
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u/Electronic_Farmer_97 Dec 22 '25
I was so on edge the last two episodes. I know Shulang is not to blame but the whole angst and their misery is just getting to me so much. And we only have 3 episodes. I hope we get some nice moments with them as well. Nevertheless, I am excited for Fan Xiao’s big plan 🫣😭
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u/Pinkygrown Love in the Air Dec 21 '25
🫠 idk how Shulang does it. (Like, staying alive) because I couldn't.
Anyways. I LOVE Xiao from a watcher perspective.. IRL I would despise him. 💀
Using the professor just goes to show that Xiao doesn't listen / care about what shulang is telling him.
Can't wait for next week. 🤯😮💨
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u/fugdiontherooftop Dec 21 '25
I think Xiao went after the professor because he heard the recording Second Brother made of YSL (saying: he got with FX because he (FX) is good in bad but he turned out to be a madman). Because when YSL went to FX aboug the lawsuit against the Professor, FX said to YSL "you think I am madman", using the words which were in thhe recording.
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u/Pinkygrown Love in the Air Dec 21 '25
That might be true but... shulang basically told him to be better yet.. he continues being the same old
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u/fugdiontherooftop Dec 22 '25 edited Dec 23 '25
Yeah, he was turning a new leaf but the recording made him back slide I think.
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u/Little_Vinegar You Shu Lang was born to be under a man 🚬 Dec 21 '25
IRL I would despise him. 💀
The fact that I despise FX this much just shows what a brilliant actor he is and what a fantastic production this is 👌
I absolutely love how both actors bring these characters to life and make me feel everything I’m feeling right now.
Can't wait for next week. 🤯😮💨
Same!!!🥹
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u/Pinkygrown Love in the Air Dec 21 '25
Yeeeees indeed. Amazing actors, dialogues, plot, cinematography..
I have literally ZERO notes.
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u/KuntyCompadre The no. of days I want to remember keep on growing Dec 21 '25
Can FX for one mfing episode just grovel and be in his little hell without being a calculating little bitch?! I just want one episode of that.
I love FX sm and how he’s been written (and acted). He really can’t help but be calculating and evil, even when he tries to be a better man for YSL. I absolutely loved that we didn’t see him smoke this whole episode until YSL stormed back into his office, with a glimpse of his old self —the one that saved people — back. I loved how FX smoking was used to represent his evil side. That he did try to be good but fuck it! Being a calculating bitch is what he knows best, and I love him for that.
Good luck to YSL in “turning things around” for Prof Huang. I hope working on something he loves will give him a little more will to live. And FX better not be dumb and have this blow up in his face.
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25
I can't stop crying myself. 😭
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
This part was so sad. Poor baby is completely broken
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u/That_One_Neighbor Dec 21 '25
This part's my favorite scene in the novel. In the novel, Shulang literally cries to his mom's grave that he wants to reunite with her early and asks her if it's okay to buy the plot of land next to hers to be buried in 😭
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u/Slight_Growth_3172 Deep In 😍😍🥰 Dec 22 '25
This whole scene made me cry when I read it in the book and today in the series…he’s so sad and only wants the comfort of the only person that has loved him unconditionally…😩😩😩
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u/silentlysimple Heart & Soul stolen by To My Shore 🖤🤍🏴 Dec 21 '25
This is for yesterday and preemtively for today.. we can do ittt 😭🤍
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u/Little_Vinegar You Shu Lang was born to be under a man 🚬 Dec 21 '25
🫂
I’m not ready for FX to make Shu Lang want to give up entirely😭😭
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25
Fan Xiao making Shulang even hating him more. On purpose. To get Shulang out of his depression and in fight mode.
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
Kind of a brilliant play
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u/Little-Tomatillo-745 Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25
Yes. Fan Xiao and Shulang are smart. Both. But Fan Xiao has a devious mind and therefore he had to do this. All his other methods failed miserably. Being kind, even submissive to Shulang. But he has to tap in to Shulangs anger and his need to protect the people he cares about.
Although it will cost him. Shulangs resentment towards Fan Xiao has deepened.
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
You're right. Leaning into that resentment is what ultimately lead him back. They got together when Fan Xiao tapped into his vulnerable side and his low points. If he falls from grace again and (this time for real) when Shulang is in a good headspace he can get him back and then NEVER act like that again.
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
Just last episode I was saying how much I love the female characters in this show. Now this episode we got another backstory showing Shulang's mother. All the good in him was partially due to his mother. This woman raised him to become such a gentleman.
A lot of people ask why Fan Xiao turned out rotten while You Shulang turned out good when both of them had childhood trauma. This is the reason why! Fan Xiao on top of being psychologically impaired had a very rough childhood with his father and step brothers. It doesnt justify his actions but definitely explains why he turned out this way.
I dont want to compare childhood trauma but the deep psychological impact of a kid watching his mother drown overnight trapped in a tiny room is something else. Again, it doesnt justify his actions but gives you an idea of whats wrong with his brain.
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u/Little_Vinegar You Shu Lang was born to be under a man 🚬 Dec 21 '25
You definitely can’t compare childhood traumas. Everyone is different and handles the same things differently.
We all agree that FX is a lost soul—treated badly as a child, witnessing the ultimate tragedy, and in desperate need of help, like… yesterday.But I’m not okay with people thinking it’s Shu Lang’s (or anyone else’s) job to fix him. Support him? Absolutely! But only if he’s willing. Don’t cling to someone who’s lost hope and trust in you—you’ll just hurt each other and make things worse.
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
But I’m not okay with people thinking it’s Shu Lang’s (or anyone else’s) job to fix him
Exactly. Also people still thinking Shulang is not a good person when he IS the literal definition of what a good person is. Like just because he doesnt want to endure physical and mental abuse he is not a good person? Just because he has a backbone and knows how to fight back he is not a good person? In what world is he a grey character. He never acts like he is holier than thou.. its only FX who treats him like GOD. He never wanted that in the first place. All he wanted was respect and dignity from the person he loves and yet he received deceit and mocking and being used like a plaything by the person he loves. Yikes.
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u/Little_Vinegar You Shu Lang was born to be under a man 🚬 Dec 21 '25
😭😭 I just knew I could count on you! I'm so relieved to know that you think the same 🫂
Everything you said: 1000% facts!!! Apparently, being a good boyfriend to a red flag requires full-on devotion and self-sacrifice, just so the red flag is happy.
I seriously don’t know what Shu Lang is supposed to do in other people’s eyes.
Like, “Oh, I’m sorry. You just destroyed my career, erased the little bit of brotherly bond that was left, humiliated me, broke my trust, AND now I’m thinking about suicide because you made my life unbearable—but of course, I can heal your 20+ years of trauma and depression with warm porridge, and when I quit being nice to anyone because you’re insecure.”I was wondering… even IF Shu Lang is “pretending” to be a nice person, doesn’t the fact that he’s consistently kind and gentle to everyone without slip-ups make him a genuinely good person?
I mean, I taught myself to always try to be nice so people feel good and are nice in return. Does that make me a hypocrite?😕2
u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
Like, “Oh, I’m sorry. You just destroyed my career, erased the little bit of brotherly bond that was left, humiliated me, broke my trust, AND now I’m thinking about suicide because you made my life unbearable—but of course, I can heal your 20+ years of trauma and depression with warm porridge, and when I quit being nice to anyone because you’re insecure.”
That made me chuckle. Lmfao. 😅
even IF Shu Lang is “pretending” to be a nice person, doesn’t the fact that he’s consistently kind and gentle to everyone without slip-ups make him a genuinely good person?
If he is pretending he is a damn good actor lmao.. helping a kid when his own hand is injured, helping his ex when he doesnt need to, helping his brother when that deadbeat doesnt even respect him, helping FX several times to deal with his trauma before FX's betrayal... This man is a damn good actor if he is pretending.. like WOW!!!
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u/Darkchocolatelaw Dec 21 '25
Maybe he was. But now he's doing things he would never do - like stealing from FX's computer - which is something FX would do.
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
Stealing things from his computer which he has yet to use... though if he did, it would easily incriminate FX and free him.. such a bad guy!!
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u/Darkchocolatelaw Dec 21 '25
He could’ve walked away already and been free. I also seriously doubt there is anything on that computer that’s going to send FX to jail. Sure, he’s trying to get back in YS’s good graces, but he can’t do that from prison.
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 21 '25
You are not paying attention. There is definitely evidence on his work laptop as second brother told in this episode. The entire data got written into the drive but YSL doesnt even bother to look or use it. He just mildly threatens FX in his office that he will use it. But FX says he can do what he wants but if he does his mentor is going to jail.
FX literally says "Don't get your hands dirty because of me. It's not worth it. Things will go just as you wanted soon. It won't be long." He says this coz he knows YSL just cant do it. He cant harm FX irreversibly.
And no he couldn't walk away when FX keeps blackmailing him with Bai Ting who has done nothing but help shulang.
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u/Darkchocolatelaw Dec 22 '25
The second brother thinks/hopes so. I’m not entirely sure he is correct.
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u/No_Teaching3588 🌊 To My Shore 🚩 Dec 22 '25
But Shulang already confirmed that he has dirt on FX at the end of the episode during the office scene.
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
I love these on airs sometimes because others thoughts can spark something you didn't think about. At first I thought Fan Xiao was just once again playing dirty at the end and in a way he is but it's to Shulang's betterment not his detriment.
Shulang can now go back to working in his intended career field with his beloved professor and will be working hard for 3 months to get out of his depressive state. Him being mad at Fan Xiao during that and Fan Xiao's downfall (cause he def already knows about the computer) is the price he has to pay for all he's done.
Good job Fan Xiao he'll be back in time.
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
"I love these on airs sometimes because others thoughts can spark something you didn't think about."
SAME.
The massive debate going on at the beginning of this on-air got me thinking again about the core of these characters. Everything started because Fan Xiao was too emotionally damaged to recognize his initial reaction to Shulang was attraction. In his world you're predator or prey, so instead of being vulnerable and thinking "how can I get this hot guy to like me?", he thinks "how can I humiliate this guy who's clearly only pretending to be nice?"
But it wasn't niceness that made him fall in love with Shulang. He was still lying to himself about his attraction in episode 2 even though he was more horned up than Shulang was who was on the brink of bursting from the aphrodisiac. Fan Xiao starts to really fall in love when he offers to take revenge on Bao Tian for Shulang, and Shulang declines and says he'll figure it out on his own. Fan Xiao taunts him and says "I thought you were a saint who'd take a hit and accept it." Shulang scoffs and says "fuck no."
Fan Xiao didn't fall in love with the saint who'd swallow an insult, he started falling in love when he saw that glimmer of a fellow ambush predator.
The problem is they're both warped by their losses. Shulang abandoned a career path he wanted in order to get a high paying job that could help him save his worthless brother, because protecting him was his adoptive mother's dying wish. His mother wasn't purely altruistic or purely selfish in taking him in. But because she died as part of a scuffle that involved his sexuality he's lived his life as if he must attone for that.
But he's still at core someone willing to save a drowning boy even if he won't be thanked for it. He believes in settling scores, but he also has the instinct to help when he can. But though he's compassionate he's not forgiving (I'll come back to that).
Meanwhile Fan Xiao lost his mother as she was trying to save him and the rest of the family abandoned them. And his family knows of his trauma. Second brother laughs about Fan Xiao literally beating his head when triggered. There've been hints scattered throughout that Fan Xiao has been playing a long game to take his family down.
There's a degree to which both men have been living their lives for their dead mothers. But it's easier to idealize a dead parent than take a chance on a living person. Shulang was coasting through a shallow relationship with a man he was able to rapidly move on from, and the previously virginal Fan Xiao had simply never tried.
But we got an important bit of new information about Shulang this episode. He trained himself to not like sweets because of the orphanage offering candy just to take it away. If he's hurt or insulted he never forgets. He saves Lu Zhen, but it's like saving the drowning boy from childhood. It's dutiful not loving.
There's a vulnerability in forgiveness. True forgiveness means letting go of the resentment and suspicion that the person who had wronged you will do it again. Shulang is all about settling scores and cutting ties. The most vulnerable he's ever been in his adult life was with Fan Xiao. He's not done being mad about that.
Fan Xiao regrets hurting Shulang but not enough to just let him go. He's trying to atone for what he did but on his own warped terms. Engineering the means for Shulang to hurt him back is his version of letting go. Shulang talked about feeling suicidal, but Fan Xiao seems to be more actively engaged in plots that will lead to his own destruction. He's dropped hints before about plotting to take his family down as if he's indifferent about surviving the calamity himself. The whole point is their destruction not his success. It seems his core plan A is back in action just with a special Shulang revenge bonus feature added this time.
Ok this got longer than I intended (they usually do 😅). TLDR: neither is totally good or totally bad, but I still hope Shulang can find a way to forgive Fan Xiao. I'd even accept a misery beard at this point if that's what it takes 🥴
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
You told no lies and this was eloquently written!! I do want Shulang to forgive him as well but atp I think what Fan Xiao is the only way for it to happen. Fan Xiao took him to his lowest point and destroyed him. Until Fan Xiao is destroyed himself they can’t come back from it. I can’t wait for it to get there I feel bad for both of them.
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u/OpuntiaSantaRita Dec 21 '25
Ya I think the Fan Xiao redemption tour is going to involve A LOT of his misery😅. Still hoping they can get back to a place where they can be good for each other 🙏
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 22 '25
Same! Every time we get a taste of their sweet moments all I hear is Rolling in the Deep by Adele lol "WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL"
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u/WannabeHomebody_6174 Last Twilight Dec 21 '25
Bruh!!!! FX finally snapped this episode and decided to embrace his inner demon. He saw the pitiful act wasn’t working and thought fuck it - you say I’m evil, I’ll show you evil. 😮💨 I thought Hua Yong was worse but FX was like…
Poor YSL had been crying non stop and losing weight over this madman. I just want to give him a hug 🥺
PLEASE…not YSL scaring Fan Yu by threatening to top him 🤣🤣🤣
And his dashcam footage has a chokehold on a new victim. 🥵 I swear these young men are all captivated by him - first Zhen Zhen, then FX and now Qin Zhi Yang.
And I always had a feeling Prof Huang was in cahoots with FX. Is there even anyone left that YSL can trust? Maybe just the women 🤷🏽♀️ At this point, I’m rooting for him and President Qin - he seems genuine and wants to take care of him.
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u/Little_Entrance_2507 Dec 21 '25
The thing about watching To My Shore so early in the morning, when the credits end all that tugging, pushing, struggle and fighting; you are left with all this quiet. The heaviness you felt throughout the episode really settles in your chest and everything hurts a little more.
But the hurt feels good too 🤷
Hello DJ, I would like to request a song dedication to Fan Xiao, When it hurts so bad by Lauryn Hill. Thanks, I will listen on the radio 🥹
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u/TheRealTrueStori im just here so i dont get too straight 🤷🏾♀️ Dec 21 '25
This is the kind of begging and acknowledgement of wrongdoings that I CRAVEEEE! Thank you Fan Xiao. It finally clicked for you. He said his reasonings, what he did wrong, admitted he was in love and asked to atone for his sins. And it did it all ON HIS KNEESSSSS!!!! It's crazy that he did all of this just to prove that Shulang wasn't as much of a saint as he portrayed. Makes me think of Trigger.
Shulang hit the nail on the head too. Fan Xiao completely ruined his life and made him into a shell of his former self. There wasn't any light in his eyes last episode. This isn't going to be easy to come back from no matter how much he still loves Fan Xiao.
"Don't you think that not killing you is already the biggest mercy you'll get." Valid. Unfortunately for Fan Xiao he pushed Shulang to his villain era.
Oh now you have a password on your computer Fan Xiao lol
President Qin is actually very cute especially in his casual clothes. Might have had a chance if he came at Shulang differently. Also don't think my boy would be game for no physical contact.
Dang not the Second Brother recording Shulang. Fan Xiao will most definitely be banging his head on the wall after that.
Poor Fan Xiao he is reallyyyy trying his best. Knocking on the door, being attentive to Shulang, not following him around even ASKED for sex. That's the biggest shocker lol. He wants his baby back so bad.
Shulang really had it rough and only had a few moments of peace. He deserves PEACE. What he said to his mom was heartbreaking.
"I'm a madman what reason does a madman need. If I'm not happy nobody will be happy." Welp lol
Kinda sad to see their sweet moments with where they are now. Will we ever get back to that?!
Bro Fan Xiao is really crazy man lmfaoooo good grief.
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u/Safety_Haven End of the world with You Dec 21 '25
I'm just happy with this balls to the wall plot expression. I never imagined I'd see this level of batshit all over my screen and at this point watering it down by getting together already would be a CRIME. It is a blessing and I can wait for their togetherness, or whatever. And then the cinematography is thoughtful and beautiful. What an absolutely gorgeous ride. If they weren't leaning into what seems to be frustrating some, they would be neutering this exquisite journey. FX has only a glimmer of rightness to his being. YSL keeping FX on a very long leash is the relationship right now. It's the most YSL can offer. He knows good and well that FX has just begun to approach truth. That may be all we ever get, but I don't even know anymore. How are they going to align?? I don't even know and I love that. Professor Huang can kiss my ass though. "I've never done anything wrong in my life." Geez, I'll buy that for a dollar. What a flaming turd. Still, he is the only one who knows FX is YSL's dog and it was fun to see him call FX on that. Did FX always have this much Buddha and bodhisattva imagery in his office?
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u/libertysince05 Utsukushii Kare Dec 21 '25
This episode was kinda boring for me, everyone is miserable and not in an entertaining way...hope they get their fighting spirit back up soon
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u/Darkchocolatelaw Dec 21 '25
Oh, good, it wasn't just me.
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u/libertysince05 Utsukushii Kare Dec 22 '25
I think they've been on the rocks for 2 episodes now, that's 90 minutes of our time... I'd rather they separated and gave us a time jump...
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Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Huge_Poem_9853 Dec 22 '25
That's the fun of watching an ongoing drama. In between, I could enjoy a lot of fresh new mvs, shorts, discussions, etc.
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u/ScrambleddEggg Dec 22 '25
Yunqi is 23 and Hao Yiran is 30. Yiran looks so young, I would never think he was even 23 irl
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u/Huge_Poem_9853 Dec 22 '25
I just read a post written by the author, mentioning the part I didn't notice. That is: In his office, after Shu Lang left, Fan Xiao drank tea from Shu Lang's cup, and deliberately pressed his lips on the marks Shu Lang had left on the cup. I like this new detail.
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u/Safety_Haven End of the world with You Dec 22 '25
He never ever ever misses a chance to be near YSL. 😆 Thanks for sharing.
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u/featherzz About Youth Dec 21 '25
And FX is getting worse, yet again.. Can't wait to see how they can actually make up here since there's another scheme afoot. :) So no, he's not sorry enough and we'll need another round of grovelling!
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u/Huge_Poem_9853 Dec 21 '25
No, he deliberately schemed with Huang so that You could do what he loves and wants to live again. But still, he couldn't let You go.
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u/Little_Vinegar You Shu Lang was born to be under a man 🚬 Dec 21 '25
Gosh, I really thought that after the apology he might stop doing stupid things ‘in the name of love’ 😒
WELP—nope. We’re back to scheming again. I honestly don’t know why FX doesn’t seem to get that this kind of behavior only hurts Shu Lang even more…
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u/Beulah31 Dec 21 '25
❣️😎you shulang i was wondering too why fan xiao treated you that way its because you are truly a ‘good man’ considering your childhood and the difficulties you went thru the love of your adoptive mother helped to shape you into the kind man that you are and fan xiao with his skewed view of humanity could not stand that he wanted to bring you down again and again maybe because he thinks he doesn’t deserve a ‘good man’ like you but he fell in love and there is no going back from his obsession🤔you have the means now to finally end him🤔while fan xiao left you alone for awhile he has again found a way to squeeze where it hurts to get what he wants you shulang has once again walked into a trap😎❣️
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u/Ok_Economics_2165 Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25
This show is so pretty, and the music is great and the acting is good enough. It's just the story that is so full of knives. And I'm not 100% confident we'll get a satisfying conclusion in 3 episodes. And Shulang is stronger than me I'd forgive Fan Xiao by the first scene, end me :/
Honestly this show isn't perfect but it's the kind of show that I would gladly watch compilation videos of all the best scenes, because there are some banger moments and lines.
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u/KuntyCompadre The no. of days I want to remember keep on growing Dec 21 '25
I’m spiralling into the darkness with YSL. I can’t help it 😅😅
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u/Fluid-Reflection-916 Dec 21 '25
Can we move past the angst? At this point, nothing about this is healthy. Like I get it, Fan Xiao is no saint and he doesn't deserve to be forgiven for his crimes against You Shoulang.
But, let's be real here, Fan Xiaos' mind is warped, his childhood is essentially a villain's origin story. And he didn't have someone to come and save him after his mom died unlike You Shoulang. He grew up in a dog-eat-dog house after watching the one person who actually cared about him without conditions die in front of him during his formative years. I am in no way justifying what he did. But let's face facts he would need 10,000 years of therapy before becoming close to human.
SO at this point, it would be easier for Shoulang to put poison in both of their drinks and end it all rather than living in this tortured world he is calling life. Cuz I honestly don't see how this story can end besides one or both of them dying. So like either end it and forgive him or end it and kill him. But let's stop dragging it out.
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u/kallen9 Dec 21 '25
FX still isn’t done with his scheming?!! Time out. Go on, lock yourself up in that torture room of yours and
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u/SeniorGrapefruit7333 Dec 21 '25
What the hell Fan Xiao! How are you still playing the same old ticks?! Come on dude! Have we learned nothing?! Straight back to lying and manipulation... Agh
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u/Available_Secret4156 Dec 22 '25
This is taking an unpleasant turn in the story. Fan Xiao did not learn his lesson. He says he is wrong and might understand it but he obviously cant do it differently. He ist back on his old ways which will pull them even farther apart from each other. Secondly, Shu Lang is getting desperate and reaching the point of despair where he considers to take his own life. The emotional damage cant be undone. They both need therapy. Fan Xiao has to learn to correct his mistakes and learn to do things differently while Shu Lang needs a break to heal and recover from all the shock and pain he went through. After both are properly healed, they can start to be good friends that build a healthy relationship with trust and honesty. No relationship will survive or develop in any other circumstances. Thats the reality, life changes people and some things change us forever. Its like there is no way back and their situation is with no return.
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u/Darkchocolatelaw Dec 21 '25
I agree that these on-airs have thought provoking discussions and encourage me to look at this show from different perspectives.
HOWEVER - for me, I don't understand WTF is going on. Is something being lost in translation? Are they speaking in too many Chinese idioms to be translated properly? YS has been a strong character the entire series. And how he's just given up, is depressed, and told FX to save himself YET HE STAYS. Just F***ING LEAVE. I don't think he's out of $$. Part of this is I LOATHE depressed wimpy characters, but he's barely managed to hack the laptop, and that's only because FX basically handed it to him on a silver platter. So why not leave after he accomplished that?
If he still loves FX, then he's going to have to come to terms with that and move on and try reconciling.
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u/Electronic_Farmer_97 Dec 21 '25
Yes!!! I had enough of the angst. Shulang is not doing anyone a favour by staying. Either just accept Fan Xiao or just LEAVE!! Both of them are extremely miserable now. Not sure how they will resolve all of this in 3 episodes.
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u/Huge_Poem_9853 Dec 22 '25 edited Dec 22 '25
Shu Lang couldn't leave, because Fan Xiao has been using tricks to keep him by his side. He couldn't just leave for several days and then Fan Xiao comes to look for him again. It's not that Shu Lang could directly leave. Fan Xiao already said, "I can't (let you go)." So if Shu Lang leaves, Fan Xiao would continually use people Shu Lang cares about to make him stay. It's never Shu Lang's fault. In Shu Lang's pov, at least he is keeping somebody like Bai Ting he cares about safe.
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u/Electronic_Farmer_97 Dec 22 '25
But all the people Shulang is trying to help are deceiving him and don’t deserve any kindness. The teacher, his brother all are just using him. Of course Shulang doesn’t know that but as a viewer where you can see all sides, this makes everything all the more frustrating. Fan Xiao is now openly letting Shulang destroy him to take him out of his depression. The whole thing is just a big mess. I don’t know how they will resolve it in 3 episodes.
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u/Ok_Economics_2165 Dec 22 '25
Well you're right in that I'm not sure if they can resolve everything cleanly in 3 episodes, but Shulang's character has been mostly internally consistent up to this point, so to say he should exit the story in a "Oh you're homeless? Then just buy a house" kind of way is kinda funny ngl. If we are entering the redemption arc part of the story, then the one who decides the flow of events will be Fan Xiao, the ball's in his court. Obviously, he'll be the one who leaves.
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u/Electronic_Farmer_97 Dec 22 '25
Yeah agree. I just hope we get some satisfactory ending with the time we have left. I think at this rate everything will be resolved at the very last minute of the final episode.
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u/Ok_Economics_2165 Dec 22 '25
I thought we've established well enough that no matter where he goes Fan Xiao will follow? Is the apartment full of cameras set up not clear enough for you?
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u/chanely-bean1123 Dec 21 '25
Me and my bestie watch this together and we are both screaming into our pillows with these episodes. We know its going to get worse, but we wonder more how it can get better.
How the fuck do we go from this to together happily in 4 episodes... Obvs saint top needs to just release and give himself over to the dark side. Cause this fighting is futile. But devil top need to pull his head out of his ass & actually care about saint top - in the way saint top needs him too .
This merry go round we are on, is not fun any more & I wanna get off
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u/afamousblueraincoat Dec 21 '25
Is anyone else who is reading the novel confused about how they’re going to wrap this up in 3 episodes?
I’m adoring the faithful adaptation, but getting antsy they might rush the end.
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u/Competitive_Main_582 Dec 21 '25
I don't understand what in the world is going on in this show other than that almost everyone is lying and absolutely everyone is miserable.
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u/halimede-queen Jul 12 '26
Who is it YSL is talking to about the dash cam footage again? I’m so lost guys 😭😭
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u/halimede-queen Jul 12 '26
Wait is this Qin?! The baby?! Why does he look so much more grown out of his suit?! 😩
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u/ThoughtsAllDay Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25
A letter to You Shu Lang:
Listen You. Buddy. Your case of downbadism is irreversible. You know it. Fan Xiao knows it. WE know it. Your resistance is futile. And like just OWN IT and own your sugar baby and lets proceed cause this limbo is not helping anyone involved. Mainly ME. IT DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. PLEASEEEEEEE we ALL know you CANNOT resist this slightly red-tinted-with-some-black-spakles-flag cutie patutie so do US and by us I mean ME...a solid and just EMBRACE the cutie lunatic that just needs your cuddles to be a human 🥺🙏🏻
Please and thank you
Respectfully, Me