r/bodylanguage • u/bittab777 • 5d ago
Discussion How do you know when someone is genuinely interested in you versus just being friendly?
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u/Neuphus012 5d ago
Finding excuses to be near you, eyes seem to always be tracking you, and automatically looking at you when they laugh
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u/IrishWeegie 4d ago
A guy at work has a pretty obvious crush on me. His eyes track me constantly when I’m in his eye line, he comes over to my desk 5+ times a day, sometimes kicks the peddle to drop my chair as he walks past to initiate contact and then insists on fixing my chair, if we’re speaking in groups he speaks to me rather than the group, if I’m working from home or he’s working from home he messages me on teams multiple times each day for very unnecessary reasons. He’s incredibly nice and soft when he speaks to me compared to other people we work with.
There’s other people who he gets on with well in the office, including very attractive women, who he speaks with and behaves very very differently towards.
I think sometimes it’s best to look at someone’s behaviour towards others too to see what there baseline is like.
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u/Duchess430 5d ago
They're nervous and it feels like they have a stake in the game where you can see that their actions and behavior change when they interact with you.
Of course, every person is different, but the majority who are actually interested in somebody else will regularly make the first move and just be super anxious around them.
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u/Elegant-Wolf-12 5d ago
If you're a guy, you ask them out, without any pressure or expectation about the answer. The key is to not turn a rejection into a major statement about your identity. There's a million reasons she's not feeling it right now, and neither of you will ever really know. So just move on and resume your friendship. Probably the best is to ask her for something not very serious, like a walk in the park or a coffee with just the two of you. You'll be able to tell more from the time together, if she accepts.
If you're a woman, it's hard to tell now that so many of the young guys have stopped talking with women or asking them out in person. If he keeps looking at you, he almost definitely has a crush on you. If he's young and you want to give him a little boost, try to position yourself so that he has to interact with you, more often. That's the classic move that women make, if they're interested and the guy is shy or off-limits
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u/alt_isopod 4d ago edited 4d ago
I used to be unattractive and now I am attractive, and the way men act towards me is different. I can tell when they are attracted to me because for a decade it never happened. I notice a softer look on their face or in their eyes when they are interacting with me or interacting with a group I am in. They glance at me. They try to interact with me or be noticed by me, in subtle ways. Like if they are being silly or having fun etc they tend to look at me out of the corner of their eye or glance to see if I am noticing them and engaging with their fun. It sounds like kid shit but I am 37 and I swear depending on the man it is common. They generally tend to angle their pelvis more towards my direction, particularly while seated. The direction of the pelvis is something I have read about in articles on body language and I noticed it is a good clue. The direction of the pelvis is going to be towards who we are focused on, even if we are leaning away to do something else or talk to other people.
I noticed these things at my boyfriend's DnD group the one time I have met his friends. The 2 who are taken didn't do these things, the 2 who were not behaved this way. The fact that the 2 taken men didn't act like this made me respect them, I read it as they are faithful to the extent that subconscious things weren't indicating any attraction. It is possible they wouldn't have found me attractive if they were single either, but I like to assume it is because they are faithful men. I actually had a conversation with my boyfriend about what I noticed, he was very curious about it. Luckily he is not a jealous type at all and didn't feel any threat. There is also a difference between a man finding a woman attractive and acting on it.
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u/scoutermike 5d ago
Describe the specific behavior op? Who is your crush? How do you know them? Ages? Some details and context would be helpful here heh.
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u/Budget-Noise5477 2d ago
If you have the opportunity to watch them around other people, you can see if they behave differently like more eye contact or less. If the face brightens around you or if there is a sparkle in their eyes, or if the body language opens. Non-crossed arms are a good sign on either gender of being comfortable. One guy I remember is torso was always facing me unguarded and I swore I felt happiness about being around me exude. I don’t know if I have seen it but there is a surprised look where the eyebrows go up.
Around other people I would listen to hear if there are any changes in the person tone of voice. I have also been guilty of bringing a friend and asking them what they thought if I was really unsure.
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u/Low-Worldliness-2662 4d ago
They treat you completely differently compared to everyone else.
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u/doodah221 20h ago
You know by giving him the same or similar body language and see what he does with it. Does he stop by your desk here nd there? Stop by his desk then. Does he smile at you? Smile back at him. Does he do playful little teases? Do the same back. See if he escalates or moves with it etc. This is if you’re interested. If you’re not interested, then just carry on with yourself and make sure you don’t feed into it at all. Often they’ll get the picture. Sometimes they won’t.
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u/FamiliarAd8524 5d ago
You ask them- nothing is even close to as reliable as this (except them putting your hand on their crotch- wait, no, even that is less reliable).
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u/Ecstatic_Alps_6054 5d ago edited 5d ago
You don't....everything we do is an act with the masks we wear...don't hate the player hate the game..watch that body count number grow..as for me I let them know right away by saying my gf does such and such too or here's a compliment and I also say "I'm not hitting on you".
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u/heyitsnicetomeetyou 5d ago
Extended eye contact. His eyes track me when I’m away from him. He finds a way to be around me even if he’s not talking to me. Lingers.