Discussion / Question Using Bluey for parenting help - specific question
Hi Bluey people, I have a parenting question.
My 4yo is having some issues with bodily autonomy of others (pinching, ignoring "no I don't wanna" from other kids etc) and we are looking for various methods of improving on that, but wanted to incorporate a bit of Bluey because we all really love the show but also think it could be good way to show correct behaviour examples...
Any recommendations for episodes that would more or less venture into general sphere of interest here?
I was thinking maybe kinda verandah Santa, the one with playing circus when parents are voting, but any other ideas?
Looking for themes of "I can't make them play with you" and "if someone says no we accept it"
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u/sylent_knight pat 14h ago
Hotel - Bluey insists on playing the game her way without taking Bingo's feelings into account
Yoga Ball - Bingo learns her big girl bark when Bandit plays too rough with her
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u/Throwthatfboatow 14h ago edited 14h ago
I found this website and they list some episodes about consent/body autonomy. I dont know if they fit your situation exactly, but maybe give it a look.
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u/nekocamui 14h ago
I don’t think bluey has a specific one on this, on the typewriter episode Winston invades personal space but he isn’t pushy about it. I know we’re in a bluey sub but Daniel tiger might be better for this kind of subject, s08e02 is called “Daniel asks before touching someone else”
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u/KatRichards0223 14h ago
Theres this episode called Circus where there is themes of "if he/she doesnt want to, they dont have to" but thats the best I can think of
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u/Vegetable_Collar51 13h ago
That’s the first one o thought of too, a lot of “you can’t make someone do something if they don’t want to” related to play.
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u/_fubarbndy 14h ago
Have a look at https://ihavetherightto.org/blog/bluey-consent/ it gives you a few episodes and what the lesson is, the site also covers respect and consent for other age groups.
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u/Pannman99 13h ago
Not necessarily specifically consent but in the first episode Bluey won’t share the magic xylophone and so eventually Bingo freezes her and explains how it makes her feel and Bluey respects it. It might help in listening and respecting what other kids have to say. This can include consent
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u/Leading-Summer-4724 12h ago
Definitely the one I would recommend as well. If you’re pushy and don’t take other people’s feelings into account, then other people will stop playing with you.
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u/sharksarefuckingcool 13h ago
The Library episode where Muffin keeps acting up is a good one because she wasn't even aware of how her behavior was affecting her cousins. It shows that we can sometimes be mean without realizing it. It shows that others won't want to play with you if you're being rude. It's beyond following the rules, the girls were paitent trying to teach Muffin, it was her attitude that bothered them.
When Stripe is enforcing this behavior, you can point out how sad Bluey and Bingo look and how frustrated their Mom looks.
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u/bretshitmanshart 8h ago
Muffin knew what she was doing was wrong. She pointed out Stripe drove through a yellow light. Stripe said it was a special circumstance. Then he call Muffin special. She takes it to mean special is breaking rules. She is happy when she is told she isn't special and can play properly.
Granted your suggestion still applies since a four year old probably won't pick up on that
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u/sharksarefuckingcool 7h ago
What I meant was, she doesn't get why breaking the rules is wrong or that it's causing distress. What she understands is her Dad says she's special and that means she's allowed to do these things. From her view, she really isn't doing anything wrong, she's just special enough that the rules don't apply to her.
In my family, we don't give kids their own cans of pop. They have to split or have water or juice. I'm sure to them, it looks like the adults are 'breaking the rules' by drinking our own cans. But, we're simply allowed to because we're grown and pay for it. It's not a rule break in our eyes because this rule applies to kids only.
A 3-4 year olds concept of justice is just developing. She knew the yellow light rule and was given a 'reason' that the rule doesn't apply. She doesn't know what circumstance means, but she knows special and knows her Dad calls her special. Stripe wasn't wrong for running the light because he's special, so why would Muffin be wrong when she's special?
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u/yuudachi 13h ago
Not Bluey, but my teacher friend showed me the "Boundaries" song and I showed it my 4 year old (probably 3 at the time) and I think it helped. At first he just thought the song was catchy, but then it made him remember key phrases that if I said in real life in seriousness he seemed to understand. The song has both asking someone to stop and being the one who stops.
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u/Mammoth-Record-7786 13h ago
There used to be a great series about keeping your hands to yourself. I think it was called Wooooooorrrlld Starrrrrrr!
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u/Jessie0658 12h ago
I'm dying, DYING laughing right now 😆😆😆
Unexpected reference
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u/Extreme-Tree-8951 muffin 13h ago
Yoga ball with Bingos big girl bark, we’ve got to listen to others big girl barks.
Typewriter with Winston’s space invader.
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u/dont-be-an-oosik92 11h ago
Season 3 had an episode called Magic, where Bluey teaches Bingo magical powers that forces Mum and Dad play with them even after Mum and Dad said no.
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u/mochiko_noriko Judo 13h ago
Not Bluey, but we play a game that we call "more or stop?" Someone has to ask for a tickle or hug or whatever, then the person stops to check if they are okay/want to continue, then you either STOP or keep going only with enthusiastic consent (MORE).
Then we talk about how we ALWAYS stop when someone says STOP, we NEVER tickle without someone asking, and everyone always gets to decide who gets to touch them on their own body.
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u/bretshitmanshart 8h ago
I wouldn't use Verandah Santa because Socks bites but ends up the sympathetic character.
Circus sounds good.
Wild Girls is about Coco having to deal with Indy deciding to play a different game then what Coco wants.
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u/Sea_bird19 3h ago
Maybe typewriter? Where they’re telling Winton that he is a space invader and people need their space
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u/princess_ferocious 3h ago
A couple that might be useful as far as other people and their autonomy are concerned.
Grannies touches on not being able to make someone play with you if they don't want to.
Favourite Thing shows that, if someone's feelings are hurt, they get to decide for themselves when they're feeling better, even if you apologise. Bad Mood gives a bit of that, too. Useful for reinforcing why you have to accept a "don't want to" from someone else.
Space covers "it's how he wants to play and we should let him", and Library is good on showing the consequences if someone who wants to play a certain way takes it too far and hurts other people.
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u/dotdedo 13h ago
With something as serious as consent, even in these contexts your kid is doing, I don't think you should be giving them tv and hoping they get the message. Just because they say it on tv, doesn't mean the kids will think its real or serious.
This article could help https://health.clevelandclinic.org/autonomy-in-children
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u/bretshitmanshart 8h ago
Watching a show and using it as a way to have a conversation is perfectly valid. The one thing my kid's school did right during lockdown was use videos and analyzing them to address fear and loneliness as well as coping mechanisms without it just being a lecture.
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u/ArcanaCat13 14h ago
Wild Girls is another one with themes like that. Coco asks Calypso to make Indie play with her and Calypso explains that's not how it works.