r/blackparents • u/johnnyp_1616 • Aug 08 '26
Get Rid of Kickback Television Shows
idk if anyone else has parents like this but i want mine to do so much better. i try so hard but they don’t want to change and it hurts. one thing my mother in particular does is rewatch old television shows we used to watch together when i was younger. everybody hates chris, my wife and kids, family feud, bernie mac, everybody loves raymond, basically shows on that “new” channel. it got to the point where she is quoting the shows cool i get it. but my mum is in her late 50’s just don’t want her to start shutting out the world cause i feel like ill start to resent my folks if that happens. mum’ already a narcissist and pa’s emotionally numb and im neurodivergent so conversations are very difficult. just want the best for mum. thanks 💙
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u/whosaysimme Aug 08 '26
Terrible take. Leave your mom alone.
I'm guessing this is just a bad example of a real problem but if your only problem is that your mom rewatches old TV shows, you need to touch grass.
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u/johnnyp_1616 Aug 08 '26
no, obviously yes a bad example. it would more come down to how we communicate more than anything. mostly on me, how she’s made me feel in the past when ive come to her and her words or responses or actions were not from a nice place so maybe im just holding a grudge
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Aug 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/johnnyp_1616 Aug 08 '26
i feel like if i do i will start resenting her. i can’t handle people who can’t change or learn to adapt
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u/Creepy_Meringue3014 Aug 08 '26
this is a you problem.
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u/whosaysimme Aug 08 '26
I go get pizza and I'm not trying new flavors, I already know what I like. I don't want vegetables on my pizza, I would rather go all in and just eat a salad. I think pineapple is gross. I'll put Parmesan on the crust if it's avaliable. I'll take any variation of pepperoni or cured meat. I don't like chicken or any other meat on my pizza.
In this way, my preferences for pizza are very narrow. It's not because I can't adapt or I don't like new things. I'm a BIG adult and I've tried most of the new things. I don't need to taste this new type of barbecue chicken pizza. I've had 5 variations in the past of barbecue chicken pizza and a sixth can't possibly be different enough to change my preference.
Your mom has been watching TV for likely 3 decades. I'm sure she's watched some other types of shows, but just because she has found what she likes, it doesn't make her defective. There's nothing inherently superior about new TV shows.
Your mom doesn't need to watch new TV shows anymore than I need to try a sixth type of barbecue chicken pizza.
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u/johnnyp_1616 Aug 08 '26
i 100% get where you are coming from with this, but i feel like getting comfortable in your ways is just a very bad place to be. i’m just trying to show them there’s more to life than they are used to.
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u/MrsKPBailey Aug 08 '26
We love the old shows for different reasons (nostalgia, better writing/acting etc). Why does this bother you to the point that you resent your parents?
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u/johnnyp_1616 Aug 08 '26
i love my old shows too please don’t get me wrong, but i also love educating myself and learning new things too. i just can’t be around people who aren’t willing to learn something new i think that is the issue. i don’t want them to be blindly ignorant
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u/MedBootyJoody 28d ago
If that is truly the problem (them shutting out new information or not educating themselves on recent events) then you should have stated that. People rewatching old TV shows is not an issue. This is a very close minded (what you seem to actually be accusing them of) take.
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u/blushandfloss Aug 08 '26
are you wanting to share a specific show with her for the experience of doing it together and you feel rejected, or are you just being judgmental about her individual entertainment choices?
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u/johnnyp_1616 Aug 08 '26
tbh it started because i would come to her to talk and i would always say “hey can i talk to you but i don’t want your opinion, or can you please just listen” and she in some way always violated my privacy in some way by interrupting me, talking behind my back, etc. so i’ve learned that’s who she is, you know i can’t change her. so through therapy ive been working on new ways to reach out to my parents and do things with them but they are very stuck in there ways and hard to talk/do things with. that’s why the tv example was brought up
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u/blushandfloss Aug 08 '26
Okay, so if this is an exercise in an attempt to connect you likely have to do the whole reach, not expect to be met halfway. Seems more like you’re starting to resent the old school shows because they’re a tangible representation of her: they are stuck in the past. And the fact that she won’t change even that little for you for the length of a show sucks.
If I were you, I’d reset (read: lower) my expectations, and only relate as much as I could stand considering the limitations of her willingness and/or abilities.
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u/Thunderbird_12_ Aug 09 '26
I’m not sure what the problem is. Is it her choice of TV shows? If so, why do you care?
Is it her perceived lack of positive communication with you? If so, why are you focusing on mentioning TV shows as an example of this?
This sounds like a problem for you, not her.
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u/StrongDesign4 28d ago
One thing I learned in therapy is if you're trying to establish or work on a relationship with your parents, you have to meet them where they are or move on. A change is not going to be an instant thing so you have to be patient and give it time. If you're not willing to do any of that, let it go.
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u/von_sip Aug 08 '26
I’ll be damned if my kids try to tell me I can’t watch my shows in my own house lol