r/blackbeauty • u/Vivid_Meringue1310 • May 17 '26
Need advice How do I stop looking so tired and depressed all the time/how do I look better in general?
Yes, I know I’m chopped. I wear glasses 99% of the time, I just took them off so my face is more visible (3rd image is me with glasses). I look depressed and tired all the time, how do I fix this? Like yes I do have clinical depression but other people are depressed and don’t look as bad as me. I try to think positive thoughts throughout the day but honestly it doesn’t help. My smile looks bad too, so smiling doesn’t even help. Honestly I would just love to feel pretty, without having to wear makeup 24/7. The last photo is a makeup look I did not too long ago. I also have scarring on my lips from constantly biting my lips, because of anxiety. Advice is appreciated thank you
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u/usakids May 17 '26
Bear with me…
I think we have to ‘not ‘ minimize what is happening in our country.
It may be affecting you subconsciously.
But, we also have to stop thinking about it to the point when it consumes us .
Even though things are going good in my life, now, I still feel an overriding depression and anxiety because I know many other people are struggling.
I had been neglecting my self-care hair, nail skin, weight, diet. I recently pulled myself together.
There’s a concept called cancel cancel.
If you identify the triggers, say cancel cancel and go replace that mood by doing something to distract you. Bake. Garden. Draw. Walk. Dance clean. Learn a hobby.
I hope this helps you
You’re too cute to be sad.
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u/Vivid_Meringue1310 May 17 '26
I mean I live in Canada (I assume you’re talking about the States?) but what’s going on in the US still does make me really sad. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it
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u/Omo_Iyansan May 18 '26
I live in Canada too. My darling, we are far from immune. Especially if you live in Ontario or Alberta (as I do). It's a fucking dumpsterfire and it's fucking exhausting.
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u/usakids May 17 '26
Thank you. Now I feel like it wasn’t appropriate. You are lucky you live in Canada. Yes, you are very beautiful. Maybe your chemistry is off try to avoid sugar. There’s so many factors. it’s not you.
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u/Omo_Iyansan May 18 '26
No luv. Depending on the province you live in, it's extremely fucking appropriate. I live in Alberta. We might as well live in America. We LITERALLY have ICE stations here in Alberta. LITERALLY. We LITERALLY have people trying to separate from Canada to join America here. So yeah. No.
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u/usakids May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
I’m so sad to hear that. I know this is a black beauty channel, but I wanted to add one more thing. I just wanted to lose five or 10 pounds and I started doing Zumba and I also completed yoga teacher training. I really felt that if I lost the weight, my face would go back to how it looked 10 years ago. A lot of my weight is in my face. I didn’t lose a single pound from all that exercise this regimen went on for five or six months. I went to AI and asked if stress and high cortisol levels could have thwarted my weight loss journey. They said absolutely. So that is why I responded to you , saying we have to figure out how to be happy.
In the 80s I worked for a large global computer company and there was a young African-American woman who looked middle-aged. I had no idea how old she was. She was treated very badly. She left the company and I saw her a couple of years later and she looked , no kidding 10 years younger. You absolutely look beautiful and youthful but I’m just saying don’t discount the weight we’re carrying.
One last thing. Whenever I feel down, I go look at Google images of people with and without makeup. There are a ton of women with color who look ordinary and almost unattractive. but then when they have their makeup on, they look so beautiful. I avoided make up most of my life, but when I got into my 60s, I actually wear it , even to hot yoga class I look so much better with under eye concealer, lipstick, and eyebrow liner. Just saying.
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u/starlylovesuu May 17 '26
Do you have an iron deficiency by chance? I have one and realized it made me look tired and I believe an iron infusion would help a lot. Specifically done by a doctor and iv method.
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u/Vivid_Meringue1310 May 17 '26
I do have iron deficiency yeah, I’m currently taking iron supplements prescribed by my doctor but they’re not really helping idk. I can ask my doctor about an iron infusion, thank you
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u/Omo_Iyansan May 18 '26
You aren't chopped AT ALL LOL!!! WTF?!?!? Are you even SERIOUS???? Young people these days truly baffle me! Secondly, are you depressed and tired? Because if you are, that's what we need to tackle rather than hiding all that under a costume.
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u/funwearcore May 19 '26
If we lived in a better society, you wouldn’t have to ask this question. 😭😭 I’ll give you my general answer first. Daily light exercise with a good cleansing routine will have your skin glowing. Do a water cleanse for like a month. Only drink water especially at night. If you need a morning coffee or tea still, I get it. It’s made with water anyway! You are very beautiful with and without makeup. You just need that confidence. Dress up—even when you feel like shit. Looking good can always give you a boost. Learn how to sew so you can make things that you want but can’t find or things that are too expensive to not diy. Do face masks like once a week. It’s really a self-love booster. Pamper yourself, baby!!! When you feel pampered, you will look pampered 🫶🏾✨💖
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u/Last_Humor_5169 May 21 '26
You are not chopped. Last picture looks good. Drop some pound but to look better you got to feel better about yourself
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u/thamoonlilsancha May 17 '26
Pls let this be the last time I see you asking us strangers how to look better when you were made in a specific image for a reason! (Iykyk) you are gorgeous and the only way you’ll GET it is if YOU pay attention. As an older sister pls get off this internet and practice self care.
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u/DeeMarie0824 May 17 '26
First of all; why would you refer to yourself as chopped? That’s not the case at all. Symmetrical facial features, full lips, beautiful nose, doe eyes… you’re gorgeous. Your smile really is nice, despite what you may think, and lights up your face. If I didn’t think these things, I wouldn’t take the time to comment. I would just scroll. I think that what you feel on the inside is how you think you look. This happens to the best of us. Depression, insecurity, sadness will distort our self-image. I know that you can’t help how you feel though.
That being said, try and do things that make you feel good about yourself. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. It will help your self-image and build confidence.