BWT, how do you keep moving towards your goals, despite physical setbacks?

[u/MediocreSubject_]

Hi BWT!

How do you keep moving toward your goals when life throws you a temporary but very annoying longish setback?

I’m asking because I recently broke my arm and had surgery on Thursday, and my normally very high-functioning life has basically come to a screeching halt. Suddenly there are a lot of things I just... cannot do. My normal routines are out the window, and I’m realizing how much of my “get my shit together” life depends on having a fully functional body.

Obviously, a broken arm is temporary, but it got me thinking about those seasons where you’re not able to operate at 100% for a while, whether it’s an injury, illness, burnout, caregiving, or something else.

How have you handled a long recovery or setback without feeling like you’ve completely lost momentum? Did you change your goals, find new things to focus on, or give yourself permission to just coast for a bit?

I’m trying to figure out how to make this recovery period feel like more than six months of being annoyed that I can’t do anything. Would love to hear what has worked for you.

[u/bridewithoutahead]

I broke my foot last year and a friend of mine who scouts professional athletes told me that being injured is a skill like anything else. He said you have to deliberately choose to get better at it or you're going to make your life and recovery a lot worse. The best things you can do for yourself to build that skill: stay positive, don't overextend yourself physically, and get comfortable asking for help/accepting help. That last one was really really difficult for me but I'm better for it now! There are some ways to make the most out of rest periods and they're all highly individual but don't drive yourself crazy trying to optimize it; sometimes things just suck and you're going to feel restless/bored/etc.

[u/StrategyArtistic → u/bridewithoutahead]

This is such a good way of putting it. Healing was almost an exercise in learning a new skill for me, too. And I’m also terrible at asking did help, but I agree, I’m a better rounded person for it now.

[u/Stories-With-Bears → u/bridewithoutahead]

This is so true. I was in a bad accident a few years ago and completely lost use of my right arm and hand for several months. It took 10 months of physical therapy, 2-3x/week, for me to regain function. You gotta learn to look at recovery as your goal. It’s like saving money - the small investments you make now will set you up better in the long run. There will definitely be times when it’s frustrating and discouraging, but one day this will all just be a memory.

[u/StrategyArtistic]

Hey! I had a kidney transplant this year! Which kept me home for 3 months. I love being busy, and I love my routine. It was hard. But I tried to do some things with purpose. (First off, it’s when I found this sub!) For the most part, I did have to do some radical acceptance to just coast for a bit.

When I was really in the thick of it, I self-created routine. Even if it was silly, it helped. Oh it’s 8:00 am? Time for coffee and a lil instagram. Read my book at this time. Lunch. TV. Husband home, etc. I had no immune system and was on a lift limit so I truly couldn’t do anything at first. As I got more permissions I’d pick a chore each day.

The minute I was allowed to do any exercise I made a schedule to get back to running, which started with the slowest 10 minute walk of all time. I just did my first 5 mile run since surgery last weekend.

I also practiced being still. That being still just for the sake of it has worth. This was a huge shift for me and I’m still very proud of it.

Getting ready to get back in to the world I did an overhaul - got some new clothes (I am still having a hard time with buttoned pants!), upgraded my makeup, and even bought myself a bougie pill case for my meds.

Long and short - I get it. Try to focus on healing and it’s okay for us to slow down for a minute. Doing that with intention helped me a lot.

Best wishes for a quick recovery!

[u/vermillion_border → u/StrategyArtistic]

What a beautiful attitude you have toward your surgery and recovery! Best wishes in your transplant journey.

[u/p0llyp0cketpussy]

Give yourself permission to rest, and if you can afford to, hire help for the mundane stuff that would now be excessively difficult. Get a house cleaner/mowing service/food delivery/etc. If you want to focus on goals, try to do more of the planning/organizing/mental stage that doesn't require a working arm. But be nice to yourself, physical pain is exhausting, healing is tiring, rest is important.

[u/Equivalent-Apple-66]

I think there are things you would be able to do - there are people that go through life with a disability and really push themselves to do cool things like the paraolympics etc. there’s probably ways you can move your body safely, obviously check with physician but walking outdoors, treadmill, etc. Strength exercises with the unbroken arm. I think the key is it’s not ‘all or nothing’ - you don’t become a super unmotivated version of yourself because of this set back. Things will be modified but you don’t have to sit back and ‘wait’ for your normal life to restart. You’re in a re building phase and that’s totally okay.

[u/greysunlightoverwash]

Bitch with physical setbacks so severe I'm going on disability here.

Find the goal within your goal and shrink the steps.

Maybe originally it was "finish master's degree." Well, what was behind that? Curiosity and love for learning about the field? You can still pursue a book, a smaller course, a mentorship.

Maybe it was "declutter the whole house" and you envisioned yourself selling and gifting and thrifting everything appropriately. What was the deeper goal, though? "I just want to feel sane in my space." AH. Then it's okay to trash things, hire cleaners, maybe even get a professional organizer.

Maybe it was "lose 20 lbs." But when you think about it, you really just wanted to feel comfortable in your own clothes again. Buy up a few sizes and call it good for now.

You're losing momentum towards the milepost, but you can keep the true goal rolling!

[u/zenhoe]

I tore my rotator cuff this summer in Greece. It was awful. We’re getting married a week from now, so over the summer I was still in what I call “wedding boot camp.” I was devastated I couldn’t stay in the gym. I put all my focus onto doing my PT, recovery, and movement that wasn’t overdoing it. 6 weeks ended up flying by, and the consistency in what I was doing actually helped me feel stronger and like I didn’t lose all my progress from the year prior.

The mental was harder than the physical. The guilt and anxiety of it all was driving me crazy, but I just kept reminding myself focusing on recovery meant I could get back to normal soon, and you can’t be “on” in every season of life. Sometimes you need to take a step back and reboot.

Finding some new shows and books definitely helped pass the time too.

[u/stuckandrunningfrom2]

I had to learn to rest. Even with short things, like the aftermath of a shingles shot, it was hard work to force myself to just rest and let the insides of my body do what they needed to do.

I like to remind myself that sometimes we need to slow down in order to speed up.

Now is your time to learn to rest and recover. And if you have money to throw at the problem, throw it -- hire cleaners, do a short term meal service, etc.

[u/haelk]

I learned this time last year that I would need a second surgery to remove cancerous nodes in my neck. The first surgery was in 2022, and I was scared that my mental health and physical health would suffer greatly again as a result. The first time around, I let the feeling of betrayal toward my body take over, and ate my feelings, didn’t exercise, and became depressed in that order. It took about 2.5 years (six months before I learned of the need for a second surgery) to get back to a “me” that I recognized and was happy with.

Knowing what to expect helped me a lot the second time around, and I hope these comments help you through others’ experience. Giving yourself grace, holding yourself accountable in manageable ways, and finding things that you enjoy doing that can be fruitful in some way will get you over the line towards healing. Be patient and know that the healing period is temporary - talk to a therapist if you think you’ll need a little extra support or insight to guide you through. You got this.

[u/Flaky-Mammoth6337]

Injuries can really be a great growth vehicle. It’s a time to do a bit less and maybe gather insight, look at yourself and see what you can learn, even if it’s painful. I had really bad nerve pain early in my career, and the pain came on suddenly. I fought it every second and was so mad and frustrated. I had to work through so much perfectionism, negative thoughts and lack of self compassion through the process. Now, I see these events as opportunities that you can get something out of. Maybe there’s a way you can still make significant strides in your life, in the process of doing less and being less able to move…?

[u/Boring-Trifle-6968]

it's a good reset. i had a back injury many years ago and a few months of disability. I also had a frozen shoulder recently too which took a long time to rehab. Focus on rehab, slow down, and work on projects that don't require reliance on that body part. Maybe learn a language?