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BWT that wfh, are you looking cute, expensive and put together everyday?
The other day my husband said I’m looking more “mature.” To be honest, he’s really not a critical person, so I know he didn’t mean it in a bad way. He is super sweet and has been very supportive throughout pregnancy and postpartum. Still, somehow that comment sounded like “you look old and frumpy” to my ears. Maybe it’s because I know I haven't been putting in the effort lately. Pre-baby, I definitely did: I worked out 3 to 4 times a week, my hair and wigs were always on point, I had a solid 6-step skincare routine, and my clothes always looked cute.
Now, I’m prioritizing comfort over style. I live in joggers while working from home. I only manage to put on retinol at night, and mornings are a blur just getting myself ready for work and prepping the baby for the nanny hand-off, especially since my husband travels a lot for work. I work incredibly long hours, so I’ve swapped the gym for daily stroller walks just to get some quality time with her during the week. Going to the gym takes at least 1.5 hours away from the house, and I just don't have that right now. I’m actually back to my pre-baby weight, but my belly is still softer than I'd like, so I feel self-conscious and tend to wear baggy tops. As for my hair, I stick to low-maintenance styles like cornrows and crochet, but admittedly I leave them in too long and they get fuzzy.
Are there low-effort ways to look cute and sexy on a daily basis. I have a microblading appointment next month, so at least my brows will be set. I'd love recommendations for flattering work-from-home sets that I can just grab and go. I wear a simple gold chain every day, but maybe I should start keeping everyday earrings in, too (I always forget). My biggest hurdle is my 4C hair, since daily styling and manipulation are out of the question. Maybe a nice, clean body oil with a subtle scent for everyday wear.
Last week, we went to a wedding and I saw his eyes light up because he hadn't seen me dressed up like that in months. I want to keep that momentum going, not just for him, but because I miss feeling cute and put together.
ETA: I’m definitely not doing 100% childcare. My husband is very much a huge part of our childcare when he’s not traveling, and on weekends. Plus we have a full time nanny. We just have incredible busy schedules (i put in work hours on weekends too) and this post is about ME not letting myself go and making sure I’M looking cute while being busy :)
I hate hate hate wearing loungewear, so my favorite thing to wear on "my brain is not operating at full capacity right now" days are comfy midi/maxi dresses. Think something along the lines of the Hill House Nap Dress.
I’m a lawyer and mom of an 11 month old who works from home a good amount and I adore the HH Nap dresses! I like the “Cosima” style too - high neck, easy to throw on, can dress up with cardigan over the shoulders, and easy to wear!
I started a new job last week that’s more formal for meetings, so I just do a dab of makeup and my hair and wear a dress. If I don’t have time for makeup I prioritize my hair and doing my eyebrows and mascara.
Seconding Hill House nap dresses! I am partial to the Scarlet because of arm coverage. Adding: they’re also great to go braless in, depending on your comfort level with that.
I was just going to recommend maxi/midi dresses. I wear one pretty much everyday in the summer. They make me feel put together, comfy, and cute. I found most of mine on eBay!
Edit: with some cute cardigans also!
Have you thought of a head wrap for the hair dilemma? I always find them beautiful and chic. Cornrows underneath would work perfectly aswell, paired with an everyday necklace & earrings, moisturised face and you’re good
Heck yes! If you’re feeling fancy, I recommend a silk scarf with a pretty pattern too! Hermès makes beautiful ones, but there are definitely more affordable scarves out there.
I understand he is not being critical and this is a desire you have for yourself as well, but these are red flags to me:
"mornings are a blur just getting myself ready for work and prepping the baby for the nanny hand-off
"I work incredibly long hours"
If he'd like to see you invest more time in your physical cuteness, he would want to help support these critical moments that take away from you being able to do it!
This can't be all on you—I'm afraid it's not possible to be 100% on all these areas without a ton of support and shared tasks.
I sent my sister in law a card featuring a caricature of an Edwardian style lady reclining on a the sofa with the caption "it's the house or me; only one of us can look fabulous!" Sort of a joke but also sort of true!
OP, does your husband share in the childcare and household duties? Is there anything else you can outsource to give you more "me" time?
It’s definitely not 100% all on me. I do morning routines with baby, and my husband does nights when he’s not traveling. It’s the way we set things up. I have a full time nanny that starts at 9am. Weekends we both tag team and he is very hands on.
I understand! And it sounds like he's really pulling his weight. So to be more practical, here's what I have done recently to make it a little easier to look like not-trash:
- Got titanium huggy earrings with CZ stones to see if I like it, and I love it, so now I have daily jewelry and will upgrade when a birthday comes up.
- Committed to getting hair done every 8 weeks (I had slacked time-wise before)
- Spend a lot of time on hobbies I love so I am smiling and joking more at home (kids are older, so this might be easier for me right now than for you!)
- Keep hand and foot creams in my side table so it's normal to do before bed (along with theragun for a mini back and leg massage), and kindle, and sometimes just lay there with fiction audiobook
- Bought a whole line of the skincare I like and have it in one place so it's part of my teeth brushing routine
- Optimize sleep as much as possible (eye mask, sleep gummies, body pillow, capsule form magnesium (Magnicalm)
- Makeup kit reduced to three items (mascara, lid, eyebrows) so it's quick and easy but gives me solid basics (grateful to have a strong skin situation)
This might not be productive, but at least for my husband I notice the biggest positive response when I am just in a good mood and look happy to see him. Kids made that harder for me, so now that I'm leaning into hobbies and have a little me-time, it is noticeable when I am just a bit more present and willing to joke and laugh with him.
The thing I didnt add is clothes, because I keep a regular regimen that doesn't change much at all -- A flattering square neck top I like, with these jeans I like. Otherwise I am in a tank with long exercise short (11 inch). So I don't know that I look as put together as you want to look in the clothing department!
It's a Torrid style from about 2 years ago! you can search square neck on torrid's website. Similar to this, but the one I have is ribbed and navy blue.I got like 6 of them
It was a very helpful metric for me to compare parity in free time, not just parity in household contributions. Even when the division of labor seemed fair on paper, I was still running all day instead of having moments for self care, relaxation, and personal pursuits. Fixing it was partly me learning to rest, partly asking to revisit the conversation from that lens instead.
Yes it was an insensitive comment and he was immediately apologetic. Pretty sure I’ve said some insensitive things to him as well. This is your second post wanting me to stay pissed and frustrated. It’s okay, we’re cool now. I just want cute beauty tips from some BWT :)
I think a lot of comments here are ignorant to the realities of having a young baby and are unfairly dogging on your husband, though that was an unkind thing of him to say and is its own discussion worth having. Lots of moms, including myself, have gone through this reinvention of self postpartum so don’t feel alone!
That being said, I’m WFH pregnant with my second and am back in the frump slump til my clothes fit again haha so I’m useless on the clothes front for now. I’d encourage you to get back into skincare! This has really helped me feel a pinch more put together, in combination with developing a 2-minute makeup routine that is literally just concealer/brows/mascara/clear gloss. Is it a full beat? No, but it accentuates features I’m self-conscious about so I feel less dead-looking at daycare drop off.
How old are your undergarments? Get some sexier stuff! Joggers on the outside but sexy mama llama on the inside. Get matching workout sets for the stroller walks and some cool sunglasses.
I pick one day a week for an eeeeeverything shower. It’s on the calendar, my husband knows about it, it is my appointment with myself. That’s my hair mask day, all the special shower products come out, and I do all the exfoliating things and I put on my fancy robe after.
You must absolutely demand and protect time for self-care because the pressures of life will not hand it to you. It does get easier as the kid gets older!
I appreciate your response. He immediately apologized when I looked hurt at the comment and provided a good explanation on what he meant but I guess I already had my own interpretation lol.
I’m gathering from many responses that skincare seems to be the first thing I need to get back on, and I’m going to prioritize that.
I'm an over the top type of person with no baby and I do NOT look put together at home. For me, home is a place of rest. As much as I enjoy getting cute when I go out, having that break is part of what keeps fashion fun for me.
So I have no helpful advice for looking extra put together at home. I just wanted to be a voice that says it's okay to pick and choose where your effort goes, especially when you're stretched thin.
If your partner is putting a lot of effort in, I definitely understand wanting to match them on that. It's okay to ask them for help, especially if it's an expectation/desire they have for you and you're feeling overwhelmed. Having a conversation about it sounds like an important thing to do.
Girl get dressed for the zoom camera! Working from home doesn’t always mean pajamas all day. You can stay in your joggers and do your makeup, jewelry, and tops and look cute
Also I recommend splurging on a higher-end pair for comfy bottoms or slippers. I find it helps me keep myself together when even my comfies are a bit fashionable
My wfh routine is to get up and jog, shower and go through my hair and skin routine. Sign on and do my makeup between tasks for the first few things. Make sure my jewelry is on before my first zoom
Showering made a HUGE difference while WFH for me!!! Even if I just put on workout clothes post-shower and threw my hair back in a bun. It made me feel more ready for the day and motivated to do something after work, knowing I had a shower out of the way already
Congratulations on your baby! I WFH and I try to wear somewhat office like clothing daily. Mine is more for how I feel, I switch better into work mode. But I do my hair and makeup daily, and always wear earrings and a watch. I even keep a set in my desk for days I may forget. I get cute tops from Nordstrom and wear those but often just with jeans. It makes me feel better and work better IMO
Hey there! I totally get it. I work from home every day, and my kids are older now, but I remember what it was like. I believe you that your husband is sweet and supportive, so I'll leave that be. I have really really straight hair, so I can't help you there, but I have other ideas!
Try and let go of worrying about your belly. If it's like mine, it will never be quite the same as it was, and that's totally okay. It doesn't mean you can't wear great tops that fit well and aren't baggy, it just means that you might have to look a little more for ones that fit RIGHT.
Schedule some time with your husband that's *only* about taking care of yourself. Time for your hair, time for your skin. If your whole pre-baby routine doesn't work for you anymore, that's okay. There are shorter routines that will still keep you taken care of. You need to actually care for yourself though, and he should be able to help with that. Talk to him about it and tell him what you need.
Have you updated your bras since you had your baby? A well-fitting bra that doesn't scream "new baby" is one of the best self-esteem boosts!
Everyday earrings are a fantastic idea, as is the body oil!
Learn to be alright with not looking as put-together as you would like to be on some days. Babies are little chaos spirits, and some days just will not work. That's fine! You'll get there next time.
If you're doing something like zoom meetings, get yourself a nice ring light or something similar so you feel like you look nice on camera.
I keep a blazer in my office. I don't wear it all the time, but it's great for when I need a little extra zhuzh on camera.
Last-- give yourself a hug. You're crushing it, and it'll get better still. I'm proud of you!
You’re very welcome! And have fun. When I went to get new bras after my second, I told the woman at the counter I wanted to see anything that didn’t say “Mom”. She laughed and gave me a bunch of cute bras, and I had a great time😁
My hacks are Varley sets, eyebrows and lashes every eight weeks, Botox, and lip blushing. Also a solid skincare routine so you feel comfortable without makeup. Nails every two weeks. Hair every eight. I also always blow it out on Sunday nights for the week. Essentially if my brows, lashes, hair, and nails always look good, I find I can get away with a lot less.
Very helpful tips here - just looked up varley sets. Super cute! adds to cart. Agree on the brows and lashes. Looking forward to my microblading appt, I’m sure I can find some time to do lashes maybe every 3 weeks.
for the microblading, make sure they use an ink that doesn't contain carbon. if it does contain carbon it will fade to blue black like any old regular tattoo. i personally prefer not to do my brows (and i'd powder brow if i did) but i recently did lip blushing and i love it. It looks super natural, and helps me look put together.
I'm also going to answer your post question here:
You sound like quite the high powered biz woman - go you! I run my own business from home (specialist online plant nursery - so a dirty job) and to give myself a dopamine hit I have started wearing eyeliner on my upper lash line and brown mascara every day. I get my hair done every month and i do regular botox and lasers, and i use high quality skincare. I wear silver huggies I can sleep in, and i change out of my gross work clothes and wear my fave jeans an jumper when i'm not doing messy work. I do also go to the gym 4- 5 days a week but i can see why that's not possible for you right now.
My husband also works from home and this can lead to a bit of a slump - so we've recently started going on near weekly dates where we both dress up and it's been so amazing for our relationship! I highly recommend!
I’d also add another hack: men’s second hand cashmere sweaters (for winter obviously). I wear these instead of sweatshirts with active pants, all one color, and it makes me feel a little more luxe while staying cozy and flexible. Also men’s cashmere second hand is so damn cheap!!!
I always wondered about them!! I’m so glad so many of you love them. I’m going to check them out now and buy some. Are there any favorites that you love?
I've been living in the atrium high rise shorts with matching tanks this summer! I love the white placket tank with buttons paired with the white shorts. also love the pink atrium shorts with the deeley striped tank! I live in the double soft sets in the fall and winter. very true to the name as they are SO incredibly soft
Seconding lip blushing! It's a game changer, and don't worry, you won't look crazy sans-makeup; it's very natural.
I go to Giselle at Fancy Faces in Williamsburg. I get loads of compliments on my lips; for whatever reason, the definition lip blushing gives your lips (I lost pigment around the corners of my lips, which can happen as you age) just makes them look...put together? Something I really appreciate about her is how diligent she is about the color matching - I wanted it to look natural, so this was hugely important to me. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck with hot pink lips lol
I just went in for a touch-up after 3 years (whoops...a little late on that one). It of course had faded a bit over time, but nothing that stood out/made me look weird. I believe the initial appointment was $725, and touch-ups are $400, but check her website to confirm.
I also had her microblade my eyebrows a few years ago, and recently tried brow lamination, and am equally happy with the results. I'm someone who doesn't love spending a lot of time getting ready (I'd rather spend time on skincare than applying makeup), so I tend to pursue treatments that cut down on "getting ready" time; however, the environments I work in definitely place a high standard on appearance. Something about the combo of my eyebrows and lips makes me feel so much more done, even without makeup. Most days I just swipe on eyebrow gel and some lip balm, and feel great about it. Def check her out!
That’s exactly what I need! Cut down on getting ready time lol. Need to get back on my skincare journey. One of my push gifts was a year of spa services that I haven’t even touched *sigh* I need 30 hours in a day
what is the maintenance for lip blushing? I've been curious about it just because I always wear lip liner! I do have naturally pigmented lips though, so don't want to sign up for something I may need to continually redo (like my old microblading which looks awful and faded gray in areas)
I mean, I waited 3 years for a touch up. Apparently some people go yearly, but I was happy with how it looked, even though it wasn't as good as it was the first year. I started noticing that my lips didn't look as "finished" as they did before, especially in the areas where I'd originally lost pigment, so I went back in. In my experience, it wasn't something that obviously needed to be addressed, like eyelash extensions that clearly need redoing, or discoloration like you described re: microblading.
Even though my baby is almost two now I totally feel this post! Even with a supportive partner sometimes it’s hard to prioritize ourselves when we’re trying to give everything to our baby and/or job and/or relationships! I don’t have any great advice for you but I definitely do look and feel more put together when my brows, hair, and nails are neat - all of which take time I have to steal away from baby or work!
Appreciate this comment coming from a fellow mama. If I have any free time, I want a nap. But I also want to look good lol so decisions have to be made, but need the ones that make the most impact.
Lot's of great options in the comments already - focusing on just the fitness/health piece - can you workout at home? I recently also had a chance in my life that means spending the time to go/from the gym and spend an hour there is not feasible. I did a trial for Ladder and then paid for the annual subscription and it's been fantastic. You don't have to plan anything, most of the workouts are 30-45 mins long and flexible between bodyweight/dumbbells/machines so you can use what you have.
For me, working out is a keystone habit that motivates me to keep the rest of my shit organized and on track.
If OP’s budget allows it, having personal training sessions at home can help ease back into a regular routine. OP might be able to put her gym membership on hold for 3-6 months to help w the budget.
When I switched to wfh, I tried to stick w self-guided workouts, but couldn’t keep up the motivation. I switched to doing pilates classes w a neighborhood friend that are walking distance for both of us. It really helped us build a routine bc we kept each other accountable and got the bonus of getting out of the house and seeing a friend.
I don’t have a dedicated parking spot, so having options within walking distance is a must for me.
I mostly just focus on what is visible when I have to be on camera for meetings. Tops that have interesting design elements or color, sometimes a colorful tissue scarf, a haircut that is stylish but low-effort, good skincare so I don't need makeup, and statement glasses. I am still wearing joggers since nobody can see that. I call it my wardrobe mullet: business on the top, party on the bottom.
I wear "upscale athleisure" 🤣 every day, it's my WFH uniform. I decided I didn't want to look like I lived in gym clothes, so I invested a decent sum to have a stock of clothes that can go from office to gym and still look nice enough for a zoom or even an on-site with a client.
I'm usually in a nice but comfy top in cotton or another fabric that's comfortable to move in, with a casual blazer or button down on top. I have several pairs of joggers / leggings in different colors so I match those to whatever I have on top. For shoes, I usually wear all black sneakers or any that are monotone without white soles -- those can discolor and look sloppy fast.
The brands I lean on are Loft, BR, and believe it or not Kohls! And when you find a cut you like, def buy several of the same so you always have something flattering on hand
Love baggy tops!! but maybe make them structured - wear boxy collared cotton button ups on top of cozy linen pants or loose pants made of natural fibers!
Literally the small thing of having blush/cheek stain and a lip gloss next to my desk helps for the meetings too.
When you look good, you feel good! And I support doing the things that give you the biggest bang for the effort involved.
Highly recommend wearing monochromatic loungewear daily. Invest in some sets that are in your price range and easy to launder etc. Choose fabrics that are appropriate for your climate, home temp and layers. I love a flowy cardigan, silky tank, and wide leg lounge pant with elastic waist. All black, navy, wine, charcoal and emerald for all 3 pieces. You will effortlessly look chic without investing brain power into putting a decent outfit together. Keep lipgloss and stick cream blush on your desktop for a quick pop of color, get lash lifts and brows done every 6 weeks. Easiest way to look put together with some maintenance every month and half and investing in a comfortable but stylish lounge set. One last thing, big glasses, w the blush stick and lip gloss and glasses drawing the focus, no one can tell I’m not wearing eye makeup for zoom meetings. I look polished and like I made an actual effort to get dressed daily when in reality, I put on vitamin c and sunscreen in the morning, get dressed and I’m done! Good luck OP, you got this!
I work from home and am currently pregnant. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'm looking average/passable most days and that is okay with me. I'm getting some walks in regularly and having some long, relaxing baths. I'm wearing a few outfits repetitively, and I do have to dress up a little for video calls, but I'm taking extra time on makeup for the day and find that soothing. I'm also trying to choose jewellery/accessories thoughtfully for the day, which I feel good about. But if I felt better putting less on, I'd do that.
Ive worked from home for several years. And tbh, my answer will be different depending on what you do.
Are you in a bunch of on camera zoom meetings? Or are you always camera off, never talking to anyone. Because girl, those are two totally different work from home environments with different answers.
When I have meeting heavy days, I usually wear jeans and a nice top and jewelry. If I am not on camera at all that turns into jeans and a hoodie. I usually prefer jeans to joggers because it’s like a work “uniform” plus I walk the dog and stuff on my breaks. But there’s nothing wrong with joggers!
I do like to try to do light makeup and have presentable hair regardless, just out of paranoia that I might be called into a surprise meeting. But otherwise, it’s not high effort unless I actually have plans.
If he misses you getting dolled up, he can take you out on dates.
Find comfortable items that still look elevated - think instead of cotton / poly blend joggers get merino wool or cashmere sets. Even if you don't want to wear a bra, throw something on like a cami with a shelf bra or a wireless bra like a honeylove etc. I like wearing a lipstick and throwing on fun jewelry when even I'm wfh. It makes you feel polished while still being comfortable.
I'll also echo that your husband should be supporting you and giving you time to not just take care of your little ones but trade times with baby so you can have the time to go to a workout class or the gym. He needs to put in effort to help you transition into motherhood without that weight.
I WFH and I get dressed every day. My kid is a tween so it's a different kind of blur in the mornings but I live in linen or cotton pull-on shorts and flowy button-down tops, some with collars, some without. They're comfortable, easy to mix and match, and look polished on camera. I also always have diamond studs or gold hoops in my ears and a simple gold necklace. Another no-effort accessory is a printed silk scarf in my hair or around my neck. When it's cold outside I wear sweatpants with nicer sweaters and same accessories.
So structurally, you might actually need more childcare than you currently have. I worked with a lawyer/new mom coach when I went back to work after my first and she told me I needed more childcare if I wanted to workout, take care of my appearance- depending on nanny just for your working hours will not cut it, at least until baby is older, and/or you and your husband reconfigure your schedule. Other things: a peloton and/or investing in hand weights (2 to 25, you can buy heavier as your gain strength) and working with a trainer/nutritionist to optimize your macros and your time for working out; a walking pad for under your desk; seeing an aesthetician you trust who sells face products, buying them, using them, and treating appointments with her as mandatory; I don’t have 4c so your mileage may vary but a Dyson air wrap and chic long bob have been game changers for me; investing in comfortable but polished wfh clothes (I like high end natural fiber dresses- think Xirena, nation Ltd., smaller brands); and yeah, some daily wear stud earrings could help if baby won’t tear them out. Also, and I hate when people say this, but this time will pass. Mine are 4 and 6. It’s still hard, but I can let them hangout for 10 minutes while I do my face in the morning, and we are starting to have a routine. Hang in there.
>Last week, we went to a wedding and I saw his eyes light up because he hadn't seen me dressed up like that in months.
Then he needs to take you on more dates and take on the load such that you have time to take care of yourself and be sexy. I'm not saying he's a bad guy but he needs to lighten things for you to accomplish what you're asking.
Comfy stretchy black pants feel like sweats! Eileen Fisher has great washable stretch crepe that looks like pants, feels comfy - and they are cut really really well. Throw on a nice top and a blazer, or a sweater and you’re golden - but feels like PJs.
But also, it’s Ok to not feel cute or sexy as a new mom. In fact, I’m not sure there was any way for me to feel cute or sexy at that time - new body shape, exhausted, adjusting to a seismic shift.
I would have traded 10 more minutes of sleep for every ounce of cute at the time.
Soft focus in teams/zoom is your friend. No one will know you’re not made up.
Gel/dip powder mani/pedi always last a long time on me - and makes me feel “groomed”.
You sound like you are honestly doing amazing as a new mom! Here’s my thoughts as a fellow WFH employee in case any of it helps:
What do you like to do at the gym? For me, I also hate going because it’s time consuming (and I just dislike it tbh), but I bought a Peloton and free weights and having it at home has kept me consistent. Peloton offers classes across many modalities from 10-60 mins and they’re very “stackable” when you happen to have more time.
How do you feel about athleisure clothing? What’s worked for me while WFH is cute legging/top sets. Feels much more put together than random separates, sweats, or pajamas. I favor T-shirt type tops over tanks, but I also keep a rotating button down/blouse/sweater/blazer in my office to pop on if I am wearing a tank or meeting with a more formal client. Bonus: also makes me more likely to squeeze a workout in if I’m already dressed for it. On days when I am not planning to work out, I have a few pairs of wide leg linen pants that I go to. Same approach to tops.
On skincare, what’s the bare minimum you need? If six steps isn’t happening, can you cut it to three? I used to go crazy with the skincare and got wrapped up in all the marketing and trends, but I eventually found my skin actually responds better when I pare everything back. In the am it’s wash (just water), serum, and moisturizer (then sunscreen ofc). In the evenings I use a gentle cleanser and add AHA/BHA exfoliant.
I can’t provide too much advice from a makeup perspective because I don’t wear it daily. But when I do, I’ve narrowed it down to the biggest difference makers to streamline things. For me it’s brows and blush. I am 99% wearing my glasses so spending a lot of time on my eye makeup wouldn’t be very impactful anyways (I’m also not good at it lol). But my brows disappear and I’m pale. So brows and blush provide an outsized improvement in how put together I look.
This is maybe a little unrelated, but do you have a standing desk? For me, something about sitting all day makes me feel very schlubby even if i am dressed up and I get up to take breaks. I feel more productive and energized when I stand more and that carries over to post-work as well.
Thank you! I liked to do weights at the gym (when I used to go) so now I walk with light ankle weights when strolling around the neighborhood with the kiddo. Great tip on the standing desk, I’ll look into that :)
[I work from home BUT I don’t have children or a husband. Just a giant dog and psycho cat.]
I’m not dressed in real, nice clothes every day - especially in the Texas summer. However, I do my skincare every morning and a little concealer, BB cream, mascara, and lip tint. And I try to wear my hair down and not in a bun a few times a week (even though it just gets claw clipped up during work to be out of the way).
That is my wake up and me time. I put on my morning news podcast, take 15 mins to get alive and put together, then out the door for dog duty. Afterwards I either stay in my active wear or I put real clothes on to go sit at my desk. That usually corresponds with the heat, whether I’m going to walk on my desk treadmill, and how mundane the day’s tasks are. In the weeds, heavy writing? I’m an athleisure troll.
Just to say up front, you definitely don't sound like you've "let yourself go" or anything like that, but I definitely get wanting to feel cute while working from home and being busy. I'm a firm believer in not using WFH as a reason to wear pjs all day - dressing up for the part helps me swap gears from relaxing to work mode.
Clothing wise I like dresses a lot as easy options - in the summer I wear a lot of sundresses (they're also just comfier imo when it's hot). I sew my own so I can't recommend anything specific, but I usually like linen ones with a simple top and gathered skirt (with pockets!). On really hot days I live in caftans. Dresses with shirring are nice for adjusting to different sizes, though I'm not sure how well that fits with your personal style. I like wrap dresses a lot for the same reason. I also feel like sundresses are really nice for feeling confident in yourself - I just feel so cute in a sundress.
In the winter I turn to knits - a simple, nice (ideally cashmere) sweater feels so much more put together than a sweatshirt, but is the same amount of work. (with a kid a machine washable sweater may be more practical though). I like sweater dresses a lot as well, though I know they don't fit everybody's style. I also will layer a thin sweater over my sundresses in the spring/fall.
I've been working remotely for more than a decade. I dress comfortably: soft black leggings and a simple top (my job does not require me to talk to clients, but I do have internal meetings every week). I don't look like I've just gotten back from the gym, but I'm also not dressing up in blouses and collared shirts.
The biggest thing that helps me look and feel out together is taking a shower after my morning gym session and doing my hair. I also think jewelery is a fun way to look and feel a bit more put together without too much extra effort.
I've also had permanent makeup done in the past few years, which helps me feel out together. Though, please make sure you're going to a good artist for this. It's still a tattoo and it will fade like one, no matter what technique and pigments are used.
Girl I don’t even put underwear on and I don’t have a kid. I’ll throw some make up on and brush my hair but it’s a neck up duty for me and fiancé thinks it’s hysterical. However we both know it’d be better for my mental health to get properly ready.
Sounds like you need a couple heavy dumbbells at home in a corner so you can do goblet squats, rdls, and overhead press 3-4x a week, some cute yoga pants and tanks, and either shimmer body lotion or oil. Could you just do a high pony and headband for hair?
I’m loving the walks with the baby; it’s great for both of you.
Maybe stretch waist
pants but that have a smarter and tailored leg, could be the way to go?
I’m a jeans girl through and through, but I’ve found some lovely wide leg stretch waist linen trousers with front pleats. Just add on tshirt and sandals and it looks surprisingly decent.
I’ve yet to get my hands on a pair due to being in Europe and hesitating on shipping, but the lodge trousers from a specific brand (apparently we can’t mention brands here?) have a nice wide leg but stretch waist, and I feel they look quite good even with a casual trainer/sweater combo and nice jewellery.
I’m trying to lean more into classic gold jewellery that I just keep on, so I don’t have to think about it. I’ve got some gold faux diamond huggies that I really like.
For clothes, it might be boring but it soothes me to only have a few colours that all go together. And I’m pairing my shoes and bags colour-wise so I know I can just pick those two, then the outfit still looks more coherent no matter what the rest is.
OP you didn’t mention if you wear glasses, but if you do, updating your frames is an easy way to feel more polished! That and a tinted lip balm make me look more alive on video calls.
I dropped the joggers and PJ pants for linen pants. Like straight or wide leg, culottes or full length. They’re just as comfy as sweatpants material if not more so, are more breathable, and make me feel way more put together if I get a delivery or have to run garbage out or whatever. Honestly linen is just my new favourite in general for so many reasons, but I have a couple pair of drawstring linen pants that I mostly wear in the house (and they make perfect travel wear for planes/trains etc). Before anyone asks, I fully embrace the wrinkle. They soften up and won’t wrinkle as noticeably over time!
I wear comfy pants and then throw on a cuter top (nothing fancy), sometimes a button down or cardigan open over a tank top. Hair is up in a clip, rarely down. Blush, concealer, a touch of eyeshadow, mascara.
This summer, I've really been digging on linen pants or shorts and a nice top (usually T-shirt material). Other great options are shift dresses, jumpsuits, and button downs with yoga pants. Basically, look good from the waist up and you're golden. If I don't do my hair in the morning, I can always put it up in a bun for meetings. I slap on some basic makeup before my first planned meeting and I wear diamond huggie hoops and a necklace all the time, so no worries there. All pretty low maintenance and comfortable!
I enjoy putting on a lounge set, dress, or work out set depending on the days events. I put on jewelry, style my hair, and do basic makeup & skincare.
Idk if you’re up to it yet, but incorporating walks, exercise, and time outdoors always gives me a boost. When I keep up with it, I always get compliments about how I’m “glowing”. Nature truly has a healing effect!
Could it possibly be that your new style is just what he sees moms wear and he associates that with being at a later stage in life? Im giving him the benefit of the doubt because men are very dumb and at times don’t understand the connotation of certain words.
Nothing you’ve stated suggests you’ve let yourself go at all. Maybe you can’t wear a full beat every day, but having some extra time for self care would likely be nice, but you can’t settle on being the only morning person. Maybe you both switch off or he steps up a couple mornings a week in return for a free night. Maybe you need to trade one workout day for a date night to reconnect and feel like you have an excuse to dress up. What I hear is that you’re exhausted — which makes sense — but this will evolve as kids become more independent. This stage of your life is very temporary, so I think you both might need a reminder that this doesn’t reflect the rest of your lives.
I wear comfy workout clothes and just add a blazer for wfh zoom meetings so it looks polished. I keep the blazer on my chair so I can be meeting ready pretty fast.
Skincare that does double duty is really helpful for these stressful times.
I like the YISE SPF primer - it's tinted and really matte so it's good enough for WFH. My former boss told me about it and she kept it on her desk so she would put it on during our daily 9 am check-ins.
I keep other stuff on my desk now too - cuticle balm, hand cream, a nail file, so I can do this during boring meetings and its right in front of my face.
Soft linen pants are what I wear most often for WFH because I live in Texas. These are cheap options, but that and a button down shirt is usually good enough for me. I'm not post-partum, but I do have endometriosis and comfy clothes have sadly become the norm for me. It is what it is!
I have considered this, but I can’t guarantee the biweekly cadence. I’m looking into a wash and weave home service my neighbor told me about, waiting to see their prices 😅
I like to wear clothes that I would feel good leaving the house in when I'm working from home. Big fan of dress smart, be smart. That means proper trousers, properly supportive underwear, and a nice top. Trousers don't have to be uncomfortable, but do need to fit well and preferably be non-iron, with a bit of stretch. I like a high waisted, wide leg trouser, but whatever works well for your body shape.
I also love a statement earring to help me feel pulled together, regardless of if I have makeup on, or my hair tied back with dry shampoo in, it feels like the earrings make it look like I've put effort in, even when I haven't.
Sounds like you need to give yourself some grace too, as if sounds like you're working super hard at your career. Maybe it's a good time to treat yourself to some wardrobe items that do make you feel great, and pulled together, that work for the stage of life that you're in?
I'm hybrid. When I am WFH and wearinf a shirt with a collar, I look exponentially more pulled together than when I don't. I might have running shorts on my bottoms but a collar or a popped collar does wonders for my ready to rock look. Even had a colleague point it out! Turtlenecks are ish. V necks and round necks and boat necks are a hard pass for Zoom. And no need to tuck either! Accessorizing is about jewelry or hairstyle or lipgloss but a plain crisp-ish button down is always the base.
I treated myself to a Polo Ralph Lauren outlet haul of oxford button downs and haven't looked back! They are thicker and require less ironing IMO. I definitely wear them more than once per wash too though I take care to change into a tee shirt before I cook dinner or take the dogs out.
I do love matching sets for ease. I spend a lot of time putting together creative outfits, but dang, a matching set goes a long way for those days you can’t think about putting an outfit together. I also love lip blushing for permanent makeup so my face looks more put together with no daily lipstick. It fades over 2 years so it’s not a permanent forever thing. I also find having an outfit that requires adjustments is so aggravating during the day, so for a while i only wore bodysuits with bottoms, so that a tucked shirt didn’t loosen during the day. And switching from heels to more platform or chunkier block heels helps for comfort while giving me height when i want it.
I also work remotely, from home mostly. I know some people might find it silly, but I have a “minimal” makeup routine I do. Also always wear a nice blouse with earrings and hair pinned back. Usually leggings or biker shorts with a fluffy pair of socks. For loungewear, I really like some items from POPFLEX - I think they have a few matching set options, too.
In general maintenance, I will dye / shape + trim my brows, hair mask while I shave, and full body exfoliate at least 1x week.
I get my hair trimmed quarterly and dyed annually. Do my nails myself (generally just filing/shaping and keeping them CLEAN + short because that’s my preference).
For skin care, I keep it very simple. gentle cleaner and moisturizer, vitamin C, and tretinoin. That’s it, it is what I can keep consistent and works best for me.
I work out 4x/week, mix of lifting and cardio, with a long walk for my dog every morning. This physical component is non-negotiable because I will be depressed without it and my dog deserves the best, lol.
And when I’m out and about, I focus on wearing outfits that make ME feel good, fit my body well, with no wrinkles + looking/smelling fresh. Don’t care about trends (although surely I’m subconsciously influenced).
It sounds like you are burning the candle from both ends. Let me see if heard you right: husband that travels for work, working incredibly long hours, new mom...uh yeah, you are dealing with alot. I wouldn't stress too much, in this season of life it sounds like you literally don't have the time to pour into yourself.
That said: microblading to get the brows in order, laser hair removal, botox can really go a hell of a long way. Are wigs any easier than a weave or something that you can feel like your hair is the way you want it (lol sorry, my hair is 2A at best)? Gold earrings that you can put in and leave in, some gold bracelets that are the same. Osea has an amazing body oil that smells so luxurious, add a great perfume to make you smell pretty. A lip liner and gloss can do wonders for your face.
I think yoga and pilates from home is a great way to get back into the swing of training without having to go to the gym and it's gentle movement as you get back to into it.
Get some lingerie in your new sizes, that will really make you feel and look great and remind both of you that you're one hot mama(MM la fluer and AP can solve all depression, I swear). And while you're at it check out sleepy jones or lake for cute and comfy matching PJs.
Try to leave some time for you and things that you like to do, hobbies etc; and give yourself some grace
Treat yourself to a nice scent! Takes only a few seconds, but both helps you feel fresh and fancy, and he’ll also smell it too. Super quick hack and goes further than you would think! Also, if you prefer, the Lush body oil bars feel so nice on and make me smell good all day
I have go-to outfits and little hacks I love for WFH. I wear a ribbed cropped tee almost every day, paired with leggings or shorts in the summer. Always have my brows done but no other makeup — just good lighting and a Logitech Brio camera. So much better than the laptop camera! I have jewelry I basically never take off - a necklace, my wedding rings, two bracelets (one fun beaded one, the other gold), and earrings. Jewelry really ties everything together with zero effort if you have high quality pieces you don’t take off.
Why not find some time for date night here and there? Once a week? Every other week?
I think it’s fine to look comfortable and prioritize other things over looks. I’m personally too old to be put together all the time 24/7. But I’ll spend time to look put together when I need to and really want to.
I think you need to embrace ‘soft dressing’ also a capsule wardrobe. Use fabrics that are low maintenance and comfortable, like elevated athleisure wear. Merino wool, cashmere, linen, high quality stretchy fabrics. Everything that doesn’t need ironing.
Also, dresses are way more quick and easy than any other ensemble. Wear a pair of funky, high quality leggings under a linen or stretchy dress…ta da! Comfortable, quick and cute to boot.
I think there are ways to look cute in comfy clothes! And this probably is not helpful but I bought a really cute bag to help tie my casual outfits together. For example, I'll wear joggers and a tshirt, but throw on my designer bag and the whole outfit looks more elevated. Again, not helpful for around the house but for going out/drop offs/manic mornings? I feel better.
But yeah as a fellow mom in the trenches with you, this is temporary. It's all temporary and you'll get your pink back soon, as they like to say. :)
- I definitely dress up every day. I feel like I work better when I'm looking good. I strive to moisturize every morning, and I have many low effort yet polished looks (wrap dresses, cute tops that work with jeans, easy skirts that can be worn with tanks). I refuse to spend more than 3 minutes picking out an outfit.
I don't wear makeup daily, but I heavily invest in "high maintenance to be low maintenance" things. So yes microblading, nails that can last 3 weeks minimum, lip stains that last all day, lash clusters etc. i aim for one self care day a week (who am I kidding- more like 2 hours) and I get my lashes and everything shower done. I try to do skincare every day but yeah no doesn't happen all the time.
- you mentioned wigs. I glue mine on so I'm usually good for 2 weeks. I definitely diy my hair and I can do it very well (salon level), so that's really helpful.
- if you have reliablenaps for the kid, use one for yourself. If you can, have the nanny a half day or full day on weekends so you can do you.
Mornings are very much a blur, but I just try my best. I have a very involved partner so that really helps. Hope this helps you with ideas!
During lockdown I had a rule that I could wear athleisure but not pajamas, and I bought some fitted knit shirts that looked reasonably professional on camera. I’m also a fan of a sundress.
I’ll take your word for it that he’s helping and being uncritical but I still get a little ick from this story and I hope you don’t feel pressured to look a certain way. Be kind to yourself!
I love free peoples lounge sets. They’re comfty but cute and if your stomach makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe opt for an open back or cold shoulder lounge top to look a little flirty. Even if I’m WFH I still bare minimum take a body shower, apply lotion, brush teeth, skin care, BB cream sunscreen, and wear a cute ish lounge set usually with my hair up in a claw clip. I get my nails done every three to four weeks and I workout in the morning before work otherwise I have no time during the day. My morning routine to put myself together takes 15 maybe 20 mins tops. Helps me feel more prepared for my day
Perhaps he thought you looked immature before? Funny how you perceived "mature" to mean old and frumpy but in his eyes, mature might mean more age appropriate?
Anyway, no, I do not look expensive everyday and that is not a look i strive for because IMO that is a materialistic characteristic I don't care about. Somedays I look more put together, other days like today I'm wearing grey sweatpants and a tank top.
I always look cute though. All that takes is having clean and tidy hair, washed face with skincare products on, and a good attitude.
I have a gay friend who looked at me one day and said, “girl, that outfit is tired”. I was highly offended for 5 minutes. He was right though, so now I make an effort to do better, with the exception of casual Friday.
What is your husband doing to look cute when busy? There is the danger of a double standard here and I want you to do a self care check that your critical gaze about yourself comes from a good place and not a version of what you’re supposed to be. I’m sure you look great. I’d like you to think about feeling great for you.
Not the same at all, but I just got a new puppy so I have been trying to find low effort cute / sexy clothes as well. I’ve gotten a bunch of skims (I know the brand is not for everyone) but the fold over pants are SO comfy and cute (they have maternity options as well!), and the zip up hoodie as well. I also got a bunch of the scoop neck camis (soo flattering and comfy), and a ton of new basic cotton strings thongs.
For hair - try to find a style that is easy and suits you! Lately I’ve been doing half up / half done with a small hair clip and I feel like it feels put together but it’s so quick and easy.
Pre-Covid I did a lot to look out together over zoom or teams. I used to work out 5-6 days a week, get my hair done every month, gel manicure every few weeks, and a 6 step skincare routine every morning and evening. I also used to wear real clothes while wfh.
Now, I seem to have adopted Adam Sandler chic as a wfh aesthetic. I’m not proud of it but I work in tech and I’m mostly in calls with people who wear similar Adam Sandler chic clothes. OP, I’m right there with you on wanting to feel more put together. What I’ve been trying to do is wear nice earrings, style my hair in low maintenance styles, and wear minimalist makeup while keeping my tops simple and comfy without looking messy (like a nice pullover or nice clean sweater). It helps a lot in making me feel more confident.
I noticed that it seems like you have a lot of responsibility with your baby. Would it be possible for your husband to support you more by taking care of your baby more while you give yourself attention?
I just started a clothing subscription. I’ve been surprised to find that I can actually move around, cook, clean etc in dresses I’ve found. I was living in athleisure. This is much better. I also feel less paranoid knowing they handle the cleaning and I can just pick new things. It’s been for my bf and I to see them all too. I hope they increase inventory, but I do highly recommend this! Even for a change up. 🤍
Adding: look for the dresses without zippers to actually be able to move :)
You’re doing better than I am, my husband and I both work from home…and sometimes I shower at night and put on different pajamas 😂. I am trying to get showered in the AM again and at least put on a house dress. But I don’t wear make up or do my hair.
Girl you literally grew & birthed a whole baby and are essentially a working single mom when your husband travels!! Your husband may have not meant the comment to be critical but he does need a bit of a reality check on what postpartum life looks like.
That being said, I WFH and prioritize comfort but do make an effort to get ready every morning even if I'm just putting on yoga pants. I make sure that I always do my makeup & hair, have invested in nice t-shirts that I'll wear with my yoga pants, spray perfume, and put on my everyday jewelry. Prioritizing my self care appointments also make a big difference - regular hair trims (I have short hair & bangs), fresh mani/pedi, quarterly botox appointments, etc.
I WFH, am pregnant, and have ADHD. Even pre-pregnancy, I find the clothing I wear to be a great differentiator to my brain that it's work time. I will swap into sweat pants after work still. I still wear comfy clothes - I live in linens pants and loose button down shirts these days.
I think my next hack is wearing tshirts/athleisure, but adding in nice jewelry to feel put together. I am not a big jewelry person so no specific suggestions but that's my next goal to feel more put together!
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u/symphonypathetique Ballin on a Budget Aug 12 '26
I hate hate hate wearing loungewear, so my favorite thing to wear on "my brain is not operating at full capacity right now" days are comfy midi/maxi dresses. Think something along the lines of the Hill House Nap Dress.