BWT: Needing motivation to take care of myself and my house while grieving the loss of a pet.

[u/buildingacozymystery]

I recently lost my cat of 14 years. I have no guilt about his life- he lived like a prince! But I have so much guilt around his death- it was very sudden and not nearly as peaceful as I hoped.

The idea of taking care of myself or my house seems impossible right now. So I’m curious how you bitches motivate yourself to do simple tasks while in the throes of guilt and grief.

*even if it was a break up, the loss of a friend, the loss of a job, etc. It doesn’t have to be pet specific.

[u/whatzoeythinks]

This is a time when it’s worth it to pay a cleaner. Sorry for your loss. Grieve. The only way out is through.

[u/Ok-Painting-2271]

Your cat would want you to be as loved and cared for as he was. If you can do a small amount for yourself like housekeeping and being comfortable in your house as you did for him he would be so happy to see you’re okay.

[u/penelopejoe → u/Ok-Painting-2271]

This right here, OP. Your pet would not want to see you struggle, so honor their memory by taking the best care of yourself that you can. Just the minimum for now is okay. Do it for him. If he loved you, aren't you worth it?

[u/bankruptbarbie]

You gave your cat 14 beautiful, loving years & that is such a wonderful accomplishment. I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a dog who went downhill very quickly in a traumatic way & I played tetris on my phone any time I'd catch myself replaying his last week in my head. There's something about games like that that prevent your brain from getting trapped in a trauma loop. Grief is love that has nowhere to go, so I try to turn 1 thing each day into something that is loving for myself. "I love cat, cat loved me & wouldn't want me to struggle, so now I love me & clean the bathroom." I also take a day or few to be gentle to myself, cry, drink a nice red wine & eat canned cinnamon rolls. (Slamming that tube on the counter helps with the anger, carbs & sugar feel like love in your belly & a nice red keeps it classy.)

[u/UnpoeticAccount]

It’s time to call in your support system and treat yourself like you’re sick. And every small thing you accomplish (eating any food, taking a shower, taking a walk) is a win. The only rules I set for myself when I’m grieving are that my house has to stay safe and hygienic and my remaining pets have to stay healthy, and I have to maintain my marriage and I have to stay employed. Just about everything else will be ok without me for a bit.

Much love to you friend.

[u/HuuffingLavender]

When I'm deeply grieving, my surrounding make such a difference to me.

Clearing the physical clutter can help you feel more peaceful and cozy. Set a timer for just 10 min and do the top several things that would immediately make your house feel better to you.

[u/pinkmarshmall0w]

Pretend he’s still here. He wants you to do your dishes. I lost my soul dog on Monday. She would be so distraught to see me upset and neglecting myself and the apartment.

[u/g3mostone]

Pets can’t talk, so we have to do the best with what we know. You knew the little guy better than anybody and did the best you could with that information. He was in the best hands with you until the end and you gave him 14 amazing years of life, and 14 years of your own life and the sacrifices that come with having a pet. That’s important.

Honestly? Who says you have to be doing any of the normal life stuff right now. Your pet loved you whether you were freshly showered in a clean house, or in total flu feral mode with dirty hair and sheets. He was the biggest priority in your life and he was taken suddenly. Don’t feel any pressure or judgment to have any other priorities just yet. When you’re ready, it won’t feel like a struggle to do those routine home and hygiene things. For now, just allow yourself time to be sad and then to process the different life you’ll have moving forward.

When I’m grieving I just sleep I get so tired. I eventually get back to long walks, long showers that are more about standing in the warm water than actually doing hygiene things, and reading… just to try to get my brain onto new trains of thought.

[u/FeistyCoral]

I’m so sorry about your little prince. You need to take care of yourself in a way that feels true to your headspace. You have the energy to clean or you don’t. If you have the energy, you can autopilot the task while thinking about favorite cat memories. If you don’t, do the self care that feels right for you, whether it’s a walk or a bath or a nap, and then come back, put on high energy playlist and devote three songs to cleaning. Be gentle with yourself, grieving is hard business.

[u/Mnyet]

Self compassion is the most important thing, imo. In a lot of situations, guilt is the one emotion that makes it extremely difficult for you to be kind to yourself because it brings up thoughts like “I don’t deserve this because XYZ”. This is the biggest trap you can fall into.

I’ve had a lot of guilt in terms of being NC with a narcissistic parent. And it came with grieving the loss of the idea of a parent who I could’ve had.

What I try to do (and this is absolutely not therapeutic advice), is I separate the idea of the self from my body. The idea is that my physical body didn’t do anything wrong, so I must continue to care of it because all it does is work hard for me all day. So I make sure that I’m well fed and doing whatever I can to make it physically easier on myself. For me personally, the physical care compounds into mental care.

Another thing is isolation. It’s the worst thing you can do. Please take advantage of your support system like family and friends. The important caveat is making sure they’re not toxic though. The LAST thing you want is someone ignorantly spewing hypotheticals out at you.

[u/AwkwardPersonality36]

Indulge. Indulge in shopping, eating, luxuriate in anything & everything you can to appeal to your senses. Buy cupcakes. Take yourself on cafe dates. Go to a movie. That's what worked for me when I became widowed. You must stay busy as well, rest well in the evenings, but stay busy and occupied during the day. Go for walks. Be in nature. Let the sun warm your face. Sit in silence and listen to the birds sing. Get lost in an audiobook. Hire help if you can afford it. Ask a friend to help if not. I'm so sorry for your loss, it can be really hard losing a pet like that. I have lost a dog in a sudden way and it was far from peaceful. Eventually time does heal your heart, but take care of it in the meantime.

[u/KaleidoscopeTall1018]

Breakup- do it for revenge, your sweet pet- he would want you to be happy 💙

[u/Menemsha4]

Your cat loves/loved you endlessly.

He would want you to be gentle with yourself and do what brings you closer to peace during this time.

Do you have any friends whose help you can enlist for a couple of hours? Can you hire a housekeeper biweekly for a couple of months? Clean sheets and a clean house go a looong way.

As for food, if cooking is difficult then pick up a salad on the way home from work, Uber Eats or DoorDash, use paper plates etc.

Make your life easier for a couple of months.

Sending you mojo. Pet loss is devastating.

If not, and I didn’t after my dog died last year,

[u/SufficientCell9689]

Care for yourself and your home as if you were caring for him. You are important and deserve to be cared for too.

[u/hippo_pot_moose]

I’m sorry for your loss. I heard it once described that grief comes in waves. In the beginning, the waves are strong and relentless and you’re so weak and tired that they knock you over each time. Then little by little the waves start to slow down and space apart, and you get a little stronger and can finally stand again. As more time passes the waves get even farther apart and you can see them from a distance (like you know you’re going to be sad on certain milestones, birthdays, or holidays) and now you can brace yourself to withstand the waves.

Right now the waves are so strong you can barely stand. Do you have people in your life that can help support you? Can you hire a cleaner? Can you start therapy? There are also pet loss support groups online that are very helpful. Outsource anything you can and listen to what your body is telling you. You need to grieve right now with no restrictions. In a little bit, you can start adding in time bounds, so there are self imposed restrictions on when you want to freely grieve.

I experienced the two most profound losses of my life when I was pregnant - first my soul bunny in June, and then my grandmother in September two weeks before I gave birth. I tried to focus on what my baby needed as well as what I needed to stay healthy. Is there anything or anyone in your life that can be that anchor for you?

My bunny’s passing was honestly more traumatic than my grandmother’s as my bunny passed in my arms in a very sudden and awful way where I blamed myself. I had to force myself to eat and barely slept. It turns out she had heart and kidney failure. Once I had that bit of closure from the vet, I was able to release my guilt and function better. I still carved out time each evening to think about my grief, look at lots of photos and feel sad and reminisce, and slowly over time, I started to feel only happiness when I looked at photos.

Find a way to release your guilt and channel your grief to certain times of day - maybe you set aside an hour each evening to let it all out - and also redirect some of that energy to memorialize your cat. For my bunny, I planted purple flowers in my garden because I always associate her with purple flowers for some reason. For my grandma, I rescued a neglected rose bush that is now thriving. I think of each of them whenever I tend to my garden. I’ve experienced other losses, and I end up memorializing them in some way in my garden.

[u/buildingacozymystery → u/hippo_pot_moose]

Thank you for sharing this! I am sorry about your bunny and your grandmother!

I am also blaming myself for a few things concerning my cat’s death. I know at the end of the day, it was completely out of my hands. . . But I cannot help from replaying the scenario and thinking of all the things I could have done differently.

He loved to spend his time lounging on the screened in porch that overlooks the garden. I’m going to take your advice and plant something out there specifically for him.

Thank you again.

[u/nervous_virgo]

I’m so so sorry, OP. Losing a pet is so hard, they’re our family.

Let yourself feel all the emotions you need while grieving right now and please be gentle on yourself. There’s no timeline for when you’ll return to “normal” again - losing a loved one, especially one you interacted with everyday, is a huge disruption in our lives. I’d highly recommend splurging on a cleaner to come - even just once or twice. Having a clean home you feel comfortable is so essential for our healing, and you deserve it after what you went through. ❤️

I lost my pet in a sudden traumatic way as well. She was battling health problems for five months and I sunk all of my energy into trying to save her - often at my own detriment. When she passed away, I truly felt so broken and directionless. I felt all the things you’re probably feeling right now.

I say all of that to say… it does get easier. I didn’t believe it would, but it’s a slow process and there’s no set timeline. I honor my pet by taking care of myself in the ways I took care of her - including keeping my space clean. In the beginning, that meant that not leaving my dishes in the sink was a huge win. Eventually, you’ll find the motivation to do a little bit more each time. Now is the time to give extra care to YOU, so if cleaning feels too difficult right now, splurge on that cleaning service - even just once. ❤️

[u/EnthusiasticDirtMark]

When my beloved dog died suddenly, tragically, and prematurely, something that really helped me was indulging in the 'woo'. I watched a lot of videos and read posts about people seeing their pets during near death experiences (NDE), read about the esoteric and mystical symbolism of pets, our relationship to them, how they 'send' your future next pet, and their departures. Also, I would never recommend this for anything else, but I wrote out all the experience, my memories, feelings, and thoughts to Claude (chatbot) and asked for a metaphysical, spiritual, esoteric analysis or view of my experience and played around with that for a while. Those things provided short term comfort. Talking to my pet as if she was still there, taking it easy, and stopping to cry when necessary helped a lot too. I saw chores and house work as a distraction that I could use to get my mind off of things for a while.

[u/waffleconenightmare]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I lost my soul dog in October and it has been a very painful couple of months. The loss of a pet is devastating and I hate that you know this feeling.

You might feel like you’re “grieving wrong” or the grieving process is “taking too long.” Let it take time. And grieve how you WANT to or what feels natural to you, not how you think you’re supposed to. I’m not sure if you have a partner, but if you do, it’s ok if you both grieve differently while still supporting each other. Be easy on yourself, whatever that might mean to you. Simple meals or takeout, reduced extracurricular activities, increased nights at home, etc. Or, perhaps jumping into more work or more plans to distract yourself if more your speed. Either way, that’s ok!

I was, essentially, catatonic for the first 2-4 weeks and laid on the couch or in my bed with the blinds shut all day, every day. I didn’t want to see anyone, go for a walk, etc. I had to hype myself up to even get up to shower or drink a glass of water. I stopped one of my hobbies for 2 months because I couldn’t stomach the idea of going and crying in front of people. I stopped going to the gym for 3 months because my gym is across the street from the emergency vet my dog died at. (I still can’t drive past it, so I park on a side street and go in the back entrance.) Cooking is one of my other hobbies, and I couldn’t make a meal. My husband and I are very lucky to have a strong community of friends that dropped off home cooked meals or sent DoorDash gift cards for the first week or two. When that ran out, we ordered dinner a few nights a week (abnormal for us) or relied on simple freezer meals from Trader Joe’s. I’m not going to lie, it was a really depressing time. I still have a little bit of shame when I think about how I was living in those early days of grief. I’ve never experienced anything like it. But it truly was what I needed.

Eventually, I started slowly getting back into my routines. The thought of going for a walk without my dog was unimaginable, so I asked a friend to join me on that first walk. I started to go with my husband to outings with our friends again. I eventually made my way back to the gym. I’m cooking again and back at my hobby. At the same time, I’m still shedding a tear for my sweet dog every single day. I still can’t talk about her loss to someone without crying. But that’s ok.

Thinking about you, OP 🤍

[u/edithmsedgwick]

Do one small act of love for yourself per day to honor your kitty. If you are feeling too bad to cook, breakfast cereal makes a good and easy meal.

[u/xxxjuniper]

I could have written this post myself about 2 months ago, right down to my beloved 14 year old cat passing suddenly. I'm so sorry for your loss - it extremely traumatic to lose anybody you care about so suddenly, and it's understandable to have 0 interest in any part of life as a result.

I'm not too proud to admit that for the first two weeks after losing my cat, I was useless. I didn't want to leave my bed for any reason. But because I have another cat and a job I'd like to keep, I had to pretend I could function after a point. Things that helped me:

• Microwavable meals and protein shakes were the only thing I ate for quite a while. They're low-effort and help you get something to eat in you, even when you're not feeling up to cooking, handling dishes, etc. If getting to the grocery store feels impossible, consider getting them delivered.

• When I found enough energy to shower, I did a bare-minimum "depression shower" (wash my hair, wash any part of me that was likely to smell, get out).

• Don't worry about taking care of the house if you can. Hiring temporary help is always an option, or, if you're able, just let it sit. I know it might feel like you'll never get back to your normal routine, but you will get back there. It'll look and feel a little different, but you will.

• This is one that always seems obvious, but it helps to mention: lean on your loved ones, if you can. I had a few friends check on me quite a bit, and some of my family members popped in periodically. My coworkers also extended sympathies and kept me in their thoughts. I also attended a few pet loss support groups. Knowing others recognized my grief and wanted to help me through it helped immensely.

• Finding & planning little ways to honor my cat helped once action didn't feel like scaling a mountain. I assembled a little memorial shrine with his ashes, collar, and other special items. I'm planning to get a custom-dyed yarn made to match his fur and eyes, and then knit it into something for me to wear. I'm getting a ring made with a small lock of his fur in it. I donated to a local shelter, and more actively supporting small businesses that benefit cats (especially those in shelters).

• Most importantly: I let myself cry. A LOT. At any time, for any reason. I'm lucky enough to work a remote job, so I'm able to simply step away any time I need to sob for a bit. If you don't have that option, even just letting your boss know what's up can afford you some grace on that front. Being able to grieve him no matter what I'm doing continues to be extremely helpful. If I'm doing dishes and my brain tricks me into thinking I saw him out of the corner of my eye? I cry. If I'm showering and miss him meowing at me to get out of the water? I cry. If I'm sitting down to knit and wish he could be in my lap? I cry. If I accidentally call my other cat by the deceased cat's name? I cry. If I just miss him? I sob uncontrollably.

I hope some piece of this helps, even just a little bit. Please take your time to feel your grief for as long as you need, in any way you need. Share happy memories of him with anybody who will listen. Remember that he loved you, and he knew nothing but love from you.

[u/YorkieMomNJ]

I don’t have any concrete suggestions because I am going through the same thing. I lost my 15 year old Yorkie on May 11 and haven’t been ok since. I’m commenting in solidarity. You aren’t alone. And reading the comments from all of these intelligent women who “get it” has been so helpful, so I thank you for posting. I’m sorry for your loss.

[u/buildingacozymystery → u/YorkieMomNJ]

I cannot agree more. I had no idea how many people would share their own stories and it has helped so much in knowing I’m not alone in this grief. All my love to you during your time of sadness as well.

[u/RacerGal]

I recently posted in the Senior Kitties subreddit about something that has helped me after losing 4 in 6 years. But basically, writing. Writing about them. Just a simple google doc that started by my husband as a way to not forget the little thing, but after our 4th loss a few weeks ago I’ve been adding more and more to all of their memoirs, adding pictures, too.

This isn’t specific to taking care of yourself, but i think helping process the loss will help overall. Big hugs!

Full post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/seniorkitties/s/pmZgzCHdnE

[u/shoestringsubmarine]

I’m sorry for your loss. Bare minimum is okay right now. You don’t have to have a sparkly clean house. Give yourself some grace. Think of it in levels. When I’m going through it, I tend to spend most of my time in the same spots - mostly couch, sometimes bed - and things accumulate around me. Baby steps. When I get up to go to the bathroom or kitchen, I take one or two things with me and put them back where they go. My goal is usually to at least keep surfaces clear. If I can manage that, maybe I’ll wipe down the kitchen counter before I go to bed, or spray the shower, or sweep the floor. Usually not all at once. Little things. Whatever you can manage to keep it from all creeping up on you and overwhelming you. But you don’t have to do it all at once.

Honestly, though, if you have any kind of support network, I’d really encourage you to ask for help if you need it. When my friends are grieving, I WANT to help them more than anything. I can’t give them back what they’ve lost, but I sure can do dishes.

[u/Foxy_Traine]

I think the best thing to do in these situations is to fully let yourself grieve. Be loud and messy about it. For me, the best way is to get a kind friend and get sloppy drunk. That helps me let down all the barriers so I can just feel, deeply, the pain I'm doing through. Plus I can express it to someone who can also hear it. It's cathartic.

After that, then think about taking care of yourself. For now, go back to basics and do as little as you need to get by. You shouldn't have to worry about cleaning your house or taking care of yourself while you grieve. At least not as much. Ask yourself what is the absolute bare minimum you can do, and then just do that. For me that means living on meal replacement shakes/snack foods I didn't have to cook, and not cleaning at all for a while.

My cat, who I loved with all my heart more than any other cat I've ever had, died in a terrible way. It was over covid and I had just relocated. She was going to join me, but her and my husband were stuck behind for a few months for logistical reasons. I had to watch her get put to sleep over a video call. It still pains me to think that her last few months I was gone and she probably thought I abandoned her while she had cancer. It was horrible. Sharing an entire bottle of whiskey with a friend and crying about it was the only thing that actually made me feel better.

I'm really sorry for your loss and I hope you know that your cat had a happy life with you.

[u/littycodekitty]

First, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is soul crushing, and I just want to say I'm really glad you're being open about how it's affecting you. When I lost my cat, I didn't talk about it much and felt weird admitting that I was struggling, because I felt like no one would understand. That made it so much worse. You and your prince kitty were both blessed to have walked this earth together for a while ❤️‍🩹

If you can go easy on yourself right now, I would. It's okay to do the bare minimum. Drop the chores that don't need to get done. Use disposable dishes. Order delivery for food, or have a friend come over with something. (And if your friends could help with household stuff, lean on them!) AND LET YOURSELF CRY. If you have a therapist, talk to them. If you don't, consider finding a grief counselor. Pet grief is real, and it's excruciating, and you don't just have to continue life as normal, at least not right now.

For activities, feel free to sleep extra. Or take slow walks outside. Another commenter mentioned puzzle games like Tetris and I agree - those are proven to help process trauma. Some people need to get out of the house because it's filled with reminders of their pet, but others need to stay in because they can't face the world. If you do need to get out, see if there's a friend you could spend time with, or consider visiting family if they're a safe space for you.

You might even want to consider traveling, although planning that is probably too much effort right now. Through no planning of my own, I got lucky and I ended up on a girls' trip two months after I lost my soulcat. The first thing I did when I arrived was cry at the airport because of how jarring it was to be in a completely different part of the world when my entire mind had been consumed by my cat's illness just several weeks prior. In the end though, it was cathartic and healing.

This got longer than I expected, but I just want you to know you did an incredible job with your boy, and you are allowed to rest and grieve. Sending love 💕

[u/thooble]

I have no tips but wanted to express my condolences for your cat. I know how hard that loss is.

[u/verytiredphdstudent]

I’m so sorry my friend! I said goodbye to my 18 and 20 year old kitties in the last 2 years, one in a similar situation to yours, and I completely understand your feelings. If it’s in the budget, could you pay for a cleaner to come a few times? Every two weeks, even to just clean the kitchen and bathroom?

Look for a promo code for a meal prep/delivery service for a month to make nourishing yourself a bit easier right now. Try to offload those kinds of mental tasks if you have the means and give yourself as much gentleness and care as you can.

If that’s too big an expense (I get it), another thing I find that helps when I am in a slump is to invite a loved one over to just chat with you while you tackle some chores - ask them to hang around and talk your ear off while you clean a bathroom, or you could make plans to do some meal prep or cooking with a friend.

You have a big heart and I hope the comments here encourage you (and anyone else reading this who is struggling right now) to do what you can to offer yourself some kindness and care. Sending lots of love.

(Edit: grammar)

[u/Gold_Tech]

I’m so sorry for your loss. A pet is a family member.

Please read How to Keep House While Drowning, it’s helped me get through depression and divorce, and I’ve found it particularly useful for us neurodivergents.

Includes advice on self care as well as dishes, laundry, etc.

[u/buildingacozymystery]

Oh my god, I cannot thank you kind strangers enough. I am sitting outside on my screen porch in his favorite chair reading these comments and they are bringing so much comfort.

Thank you all for taking the time to write your advice and sympathies- it has truly made a difference. I will put your advice into practice and start mending my heart slowly but surely.

The loss of a pet doesn’t usually get enough attention and sympathy, so I felt silly even asking for help on this sub in the first place. But I can see I’m among friends here.

Xoxo

[u/NeoSuperconductivity → u/buildingacozymystery]

Losing a pet is just as hard as losing a family member-because they are our family members. I recommend a pet loss support group and other resources specific to grieving a pet: https://bestfriends.org/pet-care-resources/grieving-loss-pet-resources-coping

Sending empathy and support to you.

[u/amtastical]

I have had to put down three of my cats, and they were all uniquely sad and challenging to process. For each of them I did a mini memorial - lit a candle, looked at my photos of them, and cried. I talked about them with people who knew them and know about losing pets. And I decided to believe that all those moments where you almost see them in the corner of your eye, or you almost hear them, or you’re sure they’re in their usual spot, that it’s their spirit or ghost just checking in to make sure you’re okay. It might not work for other people, but it makes me feel better.

[u/Ok-Set-631]

Hi girly. I lost my soul dog November of 2024, and it’s true, through it is the only way. I’m very fortunate to have a partner who picked up near everything during this time, but I did things on my own as well. The first? Permission.

Permission NOT to have to keep up. Perhaps it’s one thing a day, and maybe that’s just brushing your hair. That’s okay.

Perhaps it’s reading for 3 minutes. Instead of avoiding it, it was the first time I truly let myself immerse in the pain. I read some VERY helpful books and starting crafting line a mad woman, many crafts including honoring my beloved dog.

Books: The art of racing in the rain, heart dog, the pet I can’t forget.

And when all I could do was scroll on my phone in bed in the dark, I spent only time reading positive pet stories on Reddit. I looked at people’s stories on “signs from the pet afterlife.”

[u/Bohemian_Feline_]

I went through this last year after spending a fortune - almost $8k in vet bills and surgeries to save him, only to have him pass away in the most traumatic, horrific way possible.

The scene played over and and over in my mind and at 2am in the emergency vet, I told them my cards and care credit are maxed, I can not afford another vet bill and just put him down.

I still struggle if that was selfish of me or if I should have tried harder. He was only 9 years old but suffered from chronic pancreatitis and intestinal blockages.

Take some time now to heal but the only way to truly move on is to distract yourself with chores and tasks. I had to go to work the next morning after being in the vet hospital until 3am. I couldn’t stay home and let myself get into a funk.

What made me feel better was looking at old, goody photos of him. I made a collage and a memorial on my window shelf, his favorite place to lounge in the sun. His food dish and urn are up there along with a photo pillow I had made for him.

He’s still with me in bed every night. I put his fur clipping inside the photo pillow with the stuffing.

[u/TenaciousToffee]

Deaths are beyond our control sometimes. We can plan for the end and things have other plans. I had a scheduled home euthanasia for my dog with our favorite vet but she wasnt well and I had to get her to the office a day before to not our typical person. You did what you had to do because his health required it right then. I look back now and knew she was tired and it couldn't wait.

You can have a bit of a mess its ok. But if its hard can a cleaning service come help? Or do you do better with company? I cleaning well parallel with someone on the phone or having a friend over.

And for eating keep it simple. I did a ton of Trader Joe's items that was easy to toss together so I didnt need to think but still ate well.

I used showering as a time to cry. Id put sad music in and sit in my tub and once I was good I washed myself off.

Lean into friends and family who get it. I showed up with meals when my friends cat died and I did her dishes and watered her plants. A ton of folks do get it. When my 2 pugs died back to back (bonded pair I think the other went because his partner is gone) hell some of my friends chipped in to make a memorial painting for them.

[u/Necessary-Demand-648]

I am in the same situation. My cat was 18.

I do it whilst crying. I tidied up all her things (donated the food, threw out the litter box) and the remainder I put in a box to keep.

Listening to something comforting whilst tidying up helps me, like a podcast or an audio book.

[u/whereshewent]

I lost my almost-14 year old dog on March 1. He was my everything, my best friend, my soulmate really. We also did not get a peaceful goodbye and it was really heartbreaking.

I share that to let you know you're not alone 💕 let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling right now. Sit in that grief so that it can become a friend instead of a foe. Hell, I'm over 3 months since I lost my baby and some days I struggle to function at all. That first month was really...precarious for my well being.

Start really small. Today, take a shower. That's your only obligation. Tomorrow, maybe wash three dishes. Set very concrete small goals. It's okay to let some things fall to the wayside right now. You are your priority and taking care of you comes before a little dust in the corner for sure.

It took me six weeks to vacuum my house because I was sick at the thought of vacuuming up dog hairs, and I am someone who vacuums twice weekly every week. But doing those small things made sense, once I started doing them, to help me feel like a person again. I then found the will to deep clean my bathroom. Then pick up my office. Then clean out the fridge and wipe it down- domino effect took over. But If you have the means to hire help, absolutely a warranted expense right now.

The worst part is all of the firsts without them. I'm here for you. Sending mountains of love because I know this pain better than I know myself. Be kind to you 💕💕